Levittown Priest Sends Awesome Letter

The annual St. Mike’s Fair in Levittown — which has been running since my dad was a student at the school, I think — wanted to have fireworks this year, but Tullytown¹ police say no go.

Why? Well, the Tullytown police chief was inconvenienced the last time they had fireworks, in 1995. “I was stuck with my patrol car on Levittown Parkway for three hours,” Police Chief Pat Priore actually told the newspaper.

St. Mike’s pastor Michael DiIorio isn’t happy with the decision. And he sent Tullytown an awesome/hilarious letter!

DiIorio said he didn’t believe the fireworks would draw 30,000 people. He called the number “arbitrary and grossly exaggerated.”

“Presently there are approximately 32,000 people in Levittown. I firmly doubt that every man, woman and child will attend the St. Michael’s Fair on one evening,” he wrote.

Tullytown has its own fireworks display every September. “If our fireworks are “unsafe’ then so are those of the borough,” DiIorio wrote. “Therefore, September fireworks for the borough should be cancelled at once.”

Ha ha, because he can’t have his fireworks he doesn’t want anyone to have them. Also, the annual Tullytown fireworks show is invitation only. Jerks!

¹ Levittown is only a post office and a census-designated place; the area that is Levittown actually spreads over five different townships/boroughs/whatever in Bucks County. When I was an intern at the Bucks County Courier Times, my bosses were very insistent that we never refer to anyone as “from Levittown,” as they were actually from Bristol Borough or whatever.

St. Mike’s Fair fireworks deemed ‘too dangerous’ [Bucks County Courier Times]

Scranton Priest Only An Alleged Liar

The Daily News today updates the story of the priest who didn’t molest me and lets everyone know that while most people are just finding out about the alleged evil pedo priest now, Ryan High School has known about it forever! And so, you know, they fixed everything already and don’t let principals steal hundreds of thousands of dollars.

In other priest news, another priest was arrested due to a grand jury investigation, only this one is charged with lying to the grand jury, which is pretty much the greatest thing ever.

The Rev. Joseph F. Sica allegedly lied to a grand jury regarding his relationship with reputed mobster (!) Russell Bufalino. Sica said under oath he didn’t know Bufalino, and then the grand jury heard about how the two were actually friends. Whoops!

Bufalino attended a party celebrating Sica’s ordination as a priest. A photo of that occasion shows Sica with Bufalino and his wife. A note with the keepsake picture reads: “Dear Russ & Carrie – Words cannot express my thankfulness to both of you! You have done a lot for me and you mean a lot to me. Rest assured of my continued love and prayers. Love Joe.” Sica also reportedly wrote a letter in 1982 to then-Pennsylvania First Lady Ginny Thornburgh, seeking her help in getting Bufalino out of jail.

Hey, this is actually pretty refreshing; finally, a priest whose bad deeds didn’t involve having sex with a kid!

[Photo via PoconoNews.net]

Alleged Perv Priest Apparently Found Me Ugly

Oh, yeah, that priest from Ryan who allegedly stole $900k and molested three students? I was an altar boy for him.

I don’t actually remember much about the priest, Rev. Charles Newman, who was president of Archbishop Ryan High School and said mass at my parish, St. Martha. He actually never said much to us; everybody went to his masses because he said them fast.

Anyway, yeah, so: The alleged molester priest did not molest me. Hooray! NBC 10 has the Archdiocese of Philadelphia’s statement on the issue; they confirm the abuse took place, pretty much.

Friday Morning Image Mixup Fun

And then he used the money to make himself look like Alycia Lane, like that creepy MTV show? Weird.

Yes, if you’re wondering, I used to go to this man’s masses.

D.A.: Priest from Ryan stole 900G [Daily News]

Pretend Priest Does Pretty Good Impersonation

As we continue our tour of the Rittenhouse Grifters of Various Regions of Pennsylvania, please turn your attention to Wilkes-Barre, where a man from Scranton’s smaller cousin pretended to be a priest in order to steal groceries.

On Tuesday, police say Mr. Rush attempted to charge $97.76 of merchandise that included four 2-pound packages of shrimp, Tastykake krimpets and floral arrangements when he was stopped. In the past, police say he has left the store with energy drinks and even a carton of cigarettes along with his groceries.

Investigators say Mr. Rush bought Thanksgiving dinner necessities and numerous gift cards he claimed he’d donate to needy families, but kept most of them for himself.

Wait, are the cigarettes supposed to be uncharacteristic? From my experiences growing up, that seems pretty standard to me. The alleged fake priest, incidentally, did study for a month at a seminary.

Priest impostor collared [The Times-Tribune]

On The Whole, The Maryland Jesuits Would Rather Have Accused Priest In Philadelphia

What did the Jesuits do in the early 1990s when priests were accused of, ah, sexual misconduct?

Why, our fair priestly men sent at least one to be the basketball team chaplain at Saint Joseph’s! Although a spokeswoman for the Maryland Jesuits said the allegations didn’t include contact but “asking someone to do something that makes them uncomfortable,” the Rev. H. Cornell Bradley was removed from the ministry. The new allegations come from the 1970s.

When he faced similar allegations in the 1990s, Bradley was shipped to Philadelphia.

Bradley, 69, faced other allegations in the early 1990s and was sent to residential psychiatric treatment for several months in 1993, according to the province. Health care workers deemed him fit for ministry, Pipkin said, and he was sent to Philadelphia’s St. Joseph’s University in 1995, where he stayed for a decade as campus minister and basketball team chaplain, among other positions.

That decision was a mistake, the province said in a letter sent last week to Gonzaga alumni and others Bradley worked with as a priest. The one credible substantiated allegation against him at the time — of having “a long-term, abusive sexual relationship with an adult woman,” Pipkin said — under today’s policies would have been sufficient to remove him from ministry.

Ahh, so now you won’t be able to separate “St. Joe’s basketball” and “disgraced priest” in your mind. Is this an NCAA violation, by the way?

Ex-Student Accuses Jesuit Of Misconduct [Washington Post]
Former St. Joe’s priest is focus of sex allegations [Inquirer]

Leftovers: Lucky Numbers

• Not content to wait for casinos, Pennsylvanians threw more money away in the lottery this year than any other year. And, hey, tomorrow’s Powerball is $187 million, so let’s do it some more! [KYW 1060]

• Tomorrow is the grand opening of Macy’s in the former Wanamaker’s/Lord & Taylor building, and the grand opening celebration includes three concerts. The finale? “The grand finale, themed ‘Americana’ and starting at 7:30 p.m., will include a 40-member choir, a six-piece brass ensemble, and indoor fireworks.” Gee, guys, could you do it up a little? [Inquirer]

• A few women in Pittsburgh went up and ordained themselves Roman Catholic priests — or, rather, were ordained by women saying they were Roman Catholic bishops. They probably freaked out your grandmother, too. [Inquirer]

• The York Daily Record byline strike — what, you haven’t been gripped by it? — is over, but management is still holding reporters’ bylines off stories as punishment. Gasp! This is almost as confusing as when the two papers in York swapped owners a few years back. [Editor & Publisher]