Ted Williams Livens Up Courtroom

Parodies of MasterCard’s “Priceless” campaign are now usually limited to practical jokes played on people who got drunk and flashed their vag or passed out at parties (link NSFW if you have filtering off). This is good!

It’s also, though, apparently popular for those trying to inject a little humor into a preliminary hearing for a drug addiction-fueled robbery case! Bensalem’s Ted Williams — the Priceless ad campaign debuted the year the Splendid Splinter hit .406 — described his loss in court. The late slugger’s frozen head apparently gives presentations at the planetarium at the Franklin Institute:

“Planetarium software … $1,000.

“Two flash drives … more than $150.

“Kids missing planetarium presentations … priceless.”

I’d agree, though, but the kids probably did get to see a noted white European ruler King Tut, which was the biggest exhibition of antiquities since Geraldo opened Al Capone’s vault. And, hey, now it’s Star Wars!

Later, one of the other robbery victims testified, “My stuff went away! It just kept going and going and going and going…”

Residents line up to testify [Bucks County Courier Times]