Here’s President Bush yesterday, ducking a shoe thrown by the Iraqi version of Keith Olbermann. The guy then gets a second shot off and manages to miss again, from point blank range. C’mon!
We can’t see the young gentleman’s face in the above photo from the White House, but I know I would be scared by being that close to both the president and a giant Little League rodent.
Yesterday, former New England Patriots employee Matt Walsh met with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and Sen. Arlen Specter to talk about Spygate, the scandal where Walsh and others videotaped other teams and helped the Patriots kick some puppies, beat up dwarves and cheat to several Super Bowl titles.
The NFL says, “Oh, this scandal is all over, sorry everybody.” But Arlen Specter isn’t having any of that! Yes, the man who should be investigating any one of the number of United States atrocities in the name of the wars on Iraq or terror or drugs is content to investigate the New England Patriots.
“They are enormous role models for everybody,” Specter said. “If you can cheat in the NFL, you can cheat in college, you can cheat in high school, you can cheat on your grade-school math test. There’s no limit as to what you can do. I think they owe the public a lot more candor and a lot more credibility.”
Cue your own favorite stolen 2000 election joke up, people!
Anyway, Congress will probably do a hearing or a Mitchell Report-type investigation while President Bush continues to videotape other team’s playcalling signals unabated.
Q Mr. President, I know you’re going to hate this, but I’m hoping that we may twist your arm and talk about baseball for just a moment. (Laughter.) Mr. President, you’re a Major League Baseball team owner again. Everyone is a free agent. You have a Yankees-like wallet. Who is your first position player? Who’s your pitcher?
THE PRESIDENT: That’s a great question. I like Ottley from the Philadelphia Phillies. He’s a middle infielder, which is always — you know, they say you have strength up the middle — there’s nothing better than having a good person up the middle that can hit. And Roy Halladay from the Toronto Blue Jays is a great pitcher. He’s a steady guy, he burns up innings. And I’m sure I’m leaving some other good ones out, but those –
Hey, remember back in 2001, when we all got $300 tax rebates? Well everybody forgot about it since it was right before Sept. 11, and so President Bush is going to give us free money again!
The economy hasn’t been all that great recently with falling stock prices, out-of-control credit and other forms of legal gambling. In remarks today, Bush said he wants a “temporary broad-based tax relief package” that will allow all of us to buy PS3s or MacBook Airs or whatever.
Hopefully the tax rebates will come in the form of new $300 bills with President Nixon on them, like in that Futurama episode. Hey, the president is doing something I like for the first time since… uh… since the last tax rebate, I guess.
Be sure to check out the new holiday video greeting card from the most competent member of the Bush family, Barney the Dog. Barney has to listen to some awful Jenna Bush acting. The vid is seven minutes long but has only about 1 minute of content; so feel free to skip around.
Oh, also, for some reason Tony Freaking Blair took time out from war — he’s fighting on the front lines, no? — to appear in the video. And some country singer, I think.
Above, the new ad for Michael Nutter, who despite a nearly 75 percent lead in the polls feels he should run some ads. And how to get lethargic Philadelphians out to the polls on Tuesday? Tell ‘em if they stay home, the terrorists (or at least Bush and Cheney) win!
Excellent graphics on the night to day transition. I wonder what Nutter’s stance is on Daylight Saving Time.
Or maybe he wanted to look more like Daddy Warbucks — speaking of references the kiddies will get — I dunno. Anyway, normally here I’d make some sort of lame “Friday afternoon in August” joke, but this photo makes me giggle so much I would probably run it anytime.
By now, there are only about 15 people in the world supporting President Bush. And there are exactly zero people besides President Bush supporting Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez, who everyone hates because he tapped into our iPhones to listen to our phone sex conversations. Or something like that; I don’t really pay attention.
Anyway, pretty much everyone wants Gonzales to resign or be fired by Bush, but Bush won’t do it. Well, now a new voice has joined the chorus calling for the AG’s departure: Montgomery County DA Bruce Castor.
Castor, a Republican, wrote to Bush, telling him Gonzales’s presence hurts local Republicans running for office (like, say, Montgomery County DA Bruce Castor) as well as local law enforcement, because how can one prosecute breaking and entering when the attorney general keeps saying “I don’t recall!”
Anyway, Castor actually thinks Bush is going to read his letter, which is cute:
Castor — running for Montgomery County commissioner — says he doesn’t expect a reply but hopes that at some point it will reach the president’s ear so that he’ll know that whatever decision is made will have a greater reach than just inside the beltway in Washington.
Yeah, I’m sure that letter’s already in Karl Rove’s paper shredder.
