The End Of The United States Postal Service

Over the summer, many Philadelphia residents haven’t gotten their mail. (For example, my Sports Illustrated from last week just arrived yesterday.) It’s all part of the Southwest Philly postal processing plant, which gets rid of the problem of bills by not delivering them to you in a timely fashion, or at all!

But now that Philly Future blogger Her Alter Ego is on the case, the post office’s days are numbered.

So, you all were wondering if I had gone mute and lost my ability to rant online. Never fear, Her Alter Ego is here! Today’s skewering and blistering criticism is reserved for the U.S. Postal Service because they have eaten my last piece of mail. I am starting a revolution.

So I sent them a letter, and yes this is pretty much it:

This is a complaint. Every month, yes EVERY MONTH, something I mail using a stamp in a correctly sized envelope goes missing. Recently, almost all of my bills did NOT reach the intended recipients.

I have written my last check and signed up for on-line bill pay. I am putting you on notice that I am I am going to tell anyone who will listen that your services are a JOKE. I intend to become a one-woman reverse publicity campaign.

In two weeks, Mr. Zip will be on the streets, turning tricks, as the Post Office shutters its doors and mailboxes for good.

Starting a Revolution in My Mailbox [Philly Future]
Postal boss acknowledges Phila. problems [Daily News]

Postal Service Might As Well Give Up

Pity the poor Postal Worker. I mean, seriously. Think how reliable the mail is. And what are our postal carriers rewarded with? (Well, besides a secure job and benefits.)

Dog attacks. Annoying customers. Weather. And now, wild stabbing incidents (emphasis mine):

Philadelphia police are investigating the Tuesday morning attack of a postal carrier in the Oxford Circle section of the city.

Police say the postal worker was on routine duty when he was stabbed several times by a knife wielding woman near the intersection of Castor and Robbins Avenues.

“The postal worker was delivering mail on this block and a woman came up to him and stated ‘This is your day to die’ and stabbed him on his outside left arm, he has two cuts, one on each hand, appears to be the palms, like defensive cuts,” said Philadelphia Police Lt. John Thompson.

The victim was taken to Jefferson Hospital for treatment; the suspect Alvada Tolliver, was taken into custody and transported to Frankford Hospital to be treated for minor injuries. [...]

Although police say it is unclear what prompted the attack, CBS 3 has learned over the years Tolliver has spent time in and out of prison, most notably was a 1990 murder conviction.

Hey, way to bury that lead in that last sentence, CBS 3. Then again, I’m sure youse spent far too much time on this clever headline:

Yuk, yuk.

Woman Goes Postal, Attacks Postal Carrier [CBS 3]

Quickies: Such great heights

• A woman who fell on some packages can sue the Postal Service for it. Sweet! Quick, somebody throw some mail on the floor, I’m gonna be rich! [NBC 10]

• Stabbed on the steps University City High? Well, you’re going to jail! [Inky]

• NB to local journos: If you write about PW — and by all means, you should — please don’t refer to us in a headline as Phila. magazine. It makes us all feel a little icky. [KYW 1060]

• The more you hear, doesn’t it just seem like President Bush doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing? I don’t even really think UAE-owned ports is a security threat, and somehow I still disagree with him. [AP/Yahoo!]