Archaeological Dig Shows Hardships Of Ancestors

In preparation for the widening of a road, archaeologists are doing a dig at a site in Middletown, Del. A University of Delaware professor says they’re learning much about tenant farmers in the 19th and 20th centuries from the excavation. They’re even correcting misconceptions.

But they’re also learning about the hardships they faced back in ye olde times.

During the federally mandated dig at the site of the state Department of Transportation’s Choptank Road widening project near Middletown, workers have found the foundation of a farmhouse. They’ve also found objects ranging from an ax to a Sears catalog.

You see that? Instead of a constant stream of free Internet porn, people in the olden days had to use the Sears catalog. And you don’t even want to know what the ax was for.

Dig at Road Widening Site Uncovers History [6 ABC]

Judge: You Can Pry Internet Porn From My Cold, Dead Hands

Whoo! Internet porn is now free to, uh, roam the Internet!

Yesterday, a federal judge right here in Freedom City itself, Philadelphia, struck down the 1998 Child Online Protection Act (COPA), writing he “may not turn a blind eye to the law in order to attempt to satisfy my urge to protect this nation’s youth by upholding a flawed statute.” Awws yeah!

And, then, he laid out this beautiful sentence:

“Indeed, perhaps we do the minors of this country harm if First Amendment protections, which they will with age inherit fully, are chipped away in the name of their protection.”

Oh snap! Let all of us — the porn stars, the porn consumers, the free-speech lovers — use our free speech to praise one U.S. District Judge Lowell A. Reed Jr. today.

Federal judge in Phila. strikes down pornography measure [Inquirer]

NBC 10 Turns To Only Profitable Form Of Web Advertising

No, not spam. The other thing the Internet is for. That’s right: Porn!

A reader sent in this screencap (click to enlarge; includes nudity, but not much):

Now, it’s probably some sort of spyware — although the screenshot was taken in super browser Firefox — but I offer this piece of evidence for justification in posting this: It’s Friday afternoon! Hooray! Here’s a cute puppy! And another one! And another one!

Aw, and look at this little beagle!

NBC 10

School District With Alleged Naked Meth Dealer As Principal Unfairly Reported On By Local Newspaper

Alleged meth-dealin’, gay porn-watchin’, sex toy-ownin’, naked principal John Acerra isn’t the only alleged perpetrator in the case of the principal who dealt meth, watched gay porn, had sex toys and was naked all in his office.

No, according to the superintendent of the Bethlehem Area School District, Joseph Lewis, the whole thing is just an evil plot by the Allentown Morning Call. Or, rather, the whole thing isn’t an evil plot, but the newspaper isn’t helping.

In a story late last week, the paper reported the head of the teachers’ union expressed concern about Acerra’s absences, including one just five days before the principal was arrested for dealing meth from his office after hours. (He never sold any drugs to kids, huzzah.)

And the paper also asked Lewis for a comment:

In a phone interview, Lewis declined to talk about Acerra’s record as an administrator. “That is none of your business,” he said. “You can dig all you want. I’m a little tired of how The Morning Call is besmirching this district.” Then he hung up.

Ha. Fantastic. The newspaper must be angry he’s accusing them of besmirching the district (whatever) and then hanging up. Wait, what? Okay, I’ll read the editorial from the same day.

Give credit to Superintendent Joseph Lewis for directing a straightforward response.

Union complained about principal [Allentown Morning Call]
Arrest of principal offers lessons on authority, accountability, openness [Allentown Morning Call]
Archives: John Acerra

Wharton Prof. Pleads Guilty To Kiddie Porn

Yesterday, Wharton professor L. Scott Ward — who was “retired” but still had an office in posh Huntsman Hall and still taught classes — pled guilty to a federal charge of producing child pornography abroad, including videos where he had sex with a boy somewhere between 14 and 16 years old.

He faces between 15 and 30 years in prison. Ward hadn’t been convicted of screwing any underage boys when he became a professor at Wharton in 1980, though Penn still allowed him to continue teaching at Penn after a 1999 conviction for soliciting sex from a state trooper posing as a 15-year-old boy. That case wasn’t serious enough for Penn. But, hey, while at Penn Scott Ward was involved in projects in the Philippines and had a visiting appointment to Chulalongkorn University in Thailand.

Penn did, however, get rid of two employees who were convicted sex offenders last month. And the school said it will re-examine its hiring practices. But since the other Ivy League schools don’t do background checks, Penn won’t be adopting that process anytime soon.

Eh, man. This is no fun. Can’t Milton Street say something funny and we can get back to hilarious news?

Penn professor pleads guilty to child pornography charge [Inquirer]
Penn eyes stricter hiring policies for faculty [Inquirer]
Sex-offender employees leave Penn [Daily Pennsylvanian]

Kids Don’t Have To Steal Playboys Anymore

KYW 1060 reports that a recent study came to some some horrible, bone-chilling conclusions: Teens find porn online.

Gasp! The study in the February issue of Pediatrics reports 42 percent of Internet users ages 10-17 have seen porn online, and 66 percent weren’t even looking for it. Porn! Sex! On the Internet! And our children see it! Just wait until the TV stations pick up this report!

There are a couple conclusions one can draw from the study: One, about 50 percent or so of Internet users aged 10-17 lied and said they had never seen Internet porn. Two… well, I guess that’s it. Porn in our kids’ hands: Who knew such a thing was possible?

Online Porn Finding Young Eyes Despite Precautions [KYW 1060]

A Tiger In The Sack

That little furball of cuteness at right most certainly would bring in the crowds to a zoo. And, as such, the Philadelphia Zoo is attempting to create its own little giant-pawed ‘aww’ machine to bring in the crowds. (Maybe not the same tiger species as the one in the photo, but here’s the deal: I don’t care.)

Okay, so the zoo isn’t mating its tigers for monetary reasons. But the zoo did attempt to mate two of its Amur tigers earlier this week. The species is down to just about 400 in the wild and 144 in captivity, but mating the tigers is dangerous, since, instead of having sex, the two could end up attacking each other. The male, Dimitri, could kill the female, Kira, in just about two minutes.

But we all got a treat: The Inquirer was there to document the hot tiger sex.

The result is, basically, tiger porn.

More »

Smut Lands Strong Right Hook On Cherry Hill

Cherry Hill’s heroic fight against smut appears to have hit a snag yesterday, as the town’s council approved four zones in town where adult businesses can legally be located.

The dispute started when an adult video store was slated to open on Route 70. Neighbors who live near to Route 70 didn’t want it there, so they complained until porn shops were pretty much banned from any spot in the city. This is against the constitution, and the adult video store owner Jim Restaino sued, and so yesterday the four zones where an adult biz can be located were created. And now the people who live near those four zones are pissed.

They’re so pissed, they’ve made the awesome graphics you see above.

And at least one person is asking, well, why can’t it just be on Route 70 after all:

Alexius Steinman said Restaino should be allowed to open his Romantic Video & Boutique at the Route 70 location. “By putting it in a safe area, you’re going to attract safe clientele,” said Steinman. Steinman, who frequents Restaino’s Mount Laurel location, described the store as “very clean, very tidy, well lit and well staffed,” which makes female customers such as herself and other responsible adults who like to experiment sexually feel comfortable. Put these stores in industrial parks and on back roads and the result will be less desirable people, she said before the meeting.

Ahh, constitutional freedom to experiment sexually. God Bless America. Now when are the Cherry Hill residents going to open up that website taking photos of all the adult video store’s customers? I’d like to get on it.

Council approves porn zone ordinance [Camden Courier-Post]
Archives: Cherry Hill vs. Smut

Leftovers: Bianca Ryan Well On Way To Catching Tupac

• Jonathan Takiff checks in with America’s Got Talent winner Bianca Ryan today and finds her hard at work on her second album. Wait, how many albums did Janis Joplin record when she was alive? [Daily News]

• Live in Pennsylvania? All your road taxes are going up. And think, this report on transit was released just after the election. Who knew? [AP/6 ABC]

• Some voting machines in Bucks County and Montco featured a “No Vote” button, showing that you were all into the civic process, but all of the candidates running had the governing ability of a snail. Hey, can we get these for Philadelphia? [KYW 1060]

• Cherry Hill lands a deadly blow in the Cherry Hill vs. Smut war. Money quote: “They tear down the moral and spiritual fiber of America and should be banned.” [Camden Courier-Post]

With Liberty And Porn For All

Philadelphia’s Wi-Fi network will be the Internet the way it’s supposed to be: Full of pornography.

Wireless Philadelphia has decided that it will not block access to pornographic sites. Hallelujah!

KYW 1060 reports that when Culver City, Calf., found out most people were using the free Wi-Fi network to visit porn or piracy sites — but of course! — it installed filters. But Philly is going at this Internet thing au natural:

“We’re trying to create the opportunities for people here, without limiting anyone’s ability to take full advantage of the Internet. Because once you start putting those things (filters) in, you could potentially be limiting people’s access to important opportunities as well.”

Yep. The important goal of having naked Philly chicks exposing themselves on webcam’s over the city’s Wi-Fi. If the city can develop a free, citywide credit card processing system, this city’s economy will be rejuvenated.

Phila.’s WiFi Network Won’t Block Porn Sites [KYW 1060]