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No ‘Porno’ On SEPTA

I didn’ t know this because I’m not in high school anymore1, but apparently Kevin Smith has a new movie coming out! It’s called Zack and Miri Make a Porno, and that last word is upsetting people who had nothing better to do.

Even in this time of economic crisis, newspapers, transit agencies and billboard companies across this fair country have rejected ads for Zack and Miri Make a Porno because of the word porno. And Philadelphia? Oh you better believe Philadelphia is in on this game:

Rina Cutler, Philadelphia deputy mayor for transportation, said the stick-figure posters were cute and clever but unacceptable for bus shelters where schoolchildren would see the word “porno.”

“If they want to call the movie ‘Zack and Miri,’ that’s fine, but Zack and Miri cannot make a porno on my bus shelters,” Cutler said.

Crap. There goes my cash-generating idea, Busty Bus Stop Vixens. Back to the drawing board.

1 I did like Clerks 2, though.

Delco Jury Really Doing Its Civic Duty

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Oh, it’s a pain, but going to jury duty is sure a way to feel just like one of the founding fathers, if they were too dumb to get off jury duty. And it’s your civic duty! Let’s see what’s in store for jurors on one case in Delco:

“What he did to those children - those infants - is every parents worst nightmare,” said Michelle T. Rotella, lead prosecutor with the the U. S. Attorney’s Office, during opening statements. She called the photos graphic, repulsive, and shocking. “They are images you will never forget.”

When the 12 jurors and four alternates, whittled down from a pool of 250, had their first look at the photos, they appeared visibly shaken. Some looked away quickly, others pursed their lips and shook their heads.

Well, I mean, it’s not like it’ll damage them for life or anything, right? Attorney Mark Cedrone, what do you think?

“Your lives will be forever altered as a result of your jury service,” Cedrone said.

Yeah, I think I have a hardship that prevents me from doing jury service that will forever alter my life.

A million ‘worst nightmare’ images await jurors in child-porn trial [Daily News]
At Delco pornography trial, woman testifies she was abused [Inquirer]

Chinese Millionaires And Porn

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A reader sends in this screenshot from the front of Philly.com earlier. And what great stories: Chinese millionaires turned away by the Convention Center and Comcast’s signing of some anti-child porn code. See, sometimes there is exciting news in the summer.

Also awesome: Chinese millionaires have invested $3 million in Stephen Starr’s Continental Midtown.

Man Commits Sin In Church

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The Trentonian — cute headline, guys, though I’m not quite sure what he was “preying” on — reports today a civilian employee of the New Jersey state police has been arrested for allegedly looking at porn on a nun’s computer in Hamilton.

Thomas G. Findler, 42, was arrested after a sexton caught him looking at porn on the Episcopalian nun’s computer. Then, for some reason, he chased him out of the building.

The suspect had been logging on overnight to “hotyoungteens” and other fetish Web sites in a nun’s office at Grace St. Paul Episcopal Church (3715 East State Street), according to police and the maintenance man.

John Jones, the 35-year-old sexton (maintenance man) at Grace St. Paul, said he flushed out the intruder upon arriving at work about 8:30 a.m. yesterday.

“He said he was just looking at the computer,” Jones said, “but he was looking at porn.”

More »

Porn Triumphs In New Jersey

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It’s been just over a year since I wrote about Cherry Hill’s never-ending battle against smut, and with good reason. Cherry Hill has been defeated by smut in a rout, and even the group fighting against “smut” has this message on its website’s messageboard: “Sexy Models and Beauty Queens looking for Sugar Daddy!”

Absolutely, 100 percent total loss hasn’t stopped everyone, though. Today the Courier-Post tell us the fight is “heating up” and gets the relevant quotes:

“The mayor will continue to fight against the invasion of deviant businesses and the sale of explicit material from corrupting our strong neighborhoods and family values in Cherry Hill,” said township spokesman Dan Keashen.

Of course, this deviant business blocking comes with a price. Cherry Hill Township’s insurance carrier agreed to pay $225,000 to the businesspeople blocked from opening an adult video store. But the township hasn’t signed the order, so it’s going to cost a lot more than that in the end.

Mayor Street, Eat Your Heart Out


NEWARK, N.J. (AP) — Indicted former Mayor Sharpe James billed the city for adult movies and body lotions while on a business trip, prosecutors allege in documents filed in federal court.

Ha ha, now there’s a mayor who knows how to relax. Can we impeach Mike Nutter and elect this guy?

Report: Ex-mayor billed porn to city [Daily Record]

The Rewards Of An Ivy League Education

Actual first sentence of a post on the opinion blog of the Daily Pennsylvanian, Penn’s student newspaper:

A lot of people think that porn is only great because it gives people boners.

The rest of the post makes far less sense than that first sentence, which is more or less true. But more “pr0n” — He really did that. He really called it “pr0n.” — posts are on the way, and I am psyched.

A novel use for pr0n [The Buzz]

This Thing Could Be That Thing

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Fun Fact!: The paper saying something like 82 percent of Internet traffic was porn was discredited. Internet porn probably doesn’t take up a giant percentage of the Internet. The largest chunk of Internet traffic is stupid lolcat photos. TMYK.

Oh, yeah, this article also contains the first ever time the phrase “Romanian translator/pimp” has been used in the Inquirer, I am pretty sure.

Sex-tour trial set to begin in Phila. | with photos [Inquirer]
How much of all Internet traffic is pornography? [Straight Dope]

NBC 10: There Is Porn On Them Thar Internets!

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Is it sweeps already? NBC 10 has not one but two stories about porn already this week, and we still have three days of the 11 o’clock news to go!

The first porn story is about the deep dark seedy shocking revelation that — gasp! — porn is being made right here in Philadelphia.

Somehow, the story begins with a viewer angered she’s getting porn spam text messages. NBC 10 traces them to — where else? — the National Watch & Diamond Exchange on 8th Street. Uh, let’s just let NBC 10 explain their Woodward & Bernstein work they let a viewer do for them:

The NBC 10 Investigators found out that one of the Web sites that sent her a text message was R.S. Duffy in Philadelphia.

The address for R.S. Duffy on South Eighth Street was actually home a National Watch & Diamond Exchange jewelry store. It appeared our search had hit a dead end.

Then, computer savvy viewer Noah Webster called us saying, “I saw your story on NBC 10.”

“Within half an hour, I found the actual owners,” Webster said.

More »

Philly.com Passes On Way To Drive People To Site

Yesterday, Philly.com apparently had an ad on its website advertising “free porn”, according to mydigimedia:

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The ad, if you can’t read it, links to “free porn.” (You’ll note Phil Jasner is on the page with the porn ad. Previously, the only to sit next to porn ads was Rich Hoffman.)

Anyway, Philly.com’s executive producer wrote in and said the whole thing was a mistake and Philly.com is no longer offering free porn. Because if there’s one thing the Internet should not be used for, it’s pornography.

Now on Philly.com: Free Porn!!! [mydigimedia]
July 25, 2006: ‘Daily News’ Staffers Looking For New Revenue Streams