Pope Tells People To Avoid Dogma With Straight Face

Noted scientist Pope Benedict XVI plans to issue a statement condemning “climate change prophets of doom,” reports some British paper.

Pope Benedict XVI has launched a surprise attack on climate change prophets of doom, warning them that any solutions to global warming must be based on firm evidence and not on dubious ideology. The leader of more than a billion Roman Catholics suggested that fears over man-made emissions melting the ice caps and causing a wave of unprecedented disasters were nothing more than scare-mongering.

The German-born Pontiff said that while some concerns may be valid it was vital that the international community based its policies on science rather than the dogma of the environmentalist movement.

The Pope, who it should be noted will die before the polar ice caps melt anyway, is announcing these remarks on World Peace Day.

Pope Disses Philly

Sometime next year, the pope will hit the United States to plug his new album or something. It’ll be Pope Benedict XVI’s first visit to the States since he became pope.

Benedict will be hitting New York, obviously, as well as Washington, D.C., but apparently he’s not going to be driving his popemobile around Philadelphia. KYW 1060 reports the pope’s itinerary — which includes speaking at the UN and visiting the White House and Ground Zero — does not include Philly.

Geeze, what more do we have to do? (Okay, sustain a population or still be the nation’s capital, I assume.) We have one quarter of the American saints and we can’t get a simple papal visit?

On the plus side, we can actually go check to see if St. John Neumann is rolling over in his grave.

Pope To Drive Popemobile to Philly?

Pope Benedict XVI — the coolest pope ever, since he has an iPod, a Santa hat, Serengeti sunglasses and Prada shoes — could be coming to Philadelphia!

The Pope would be here as part of the Archdiocese’s 200-year celebration and also to pick up a couple cheesesteaks at Pat’s. (You can order in Latin there.) Actually, the pope is already going to New York and the Catholic News Service wrote he might swing down to Philadelphia since even Prince Charles was able to do that.

He’ll be taking the Popemobile here, since I assume it drives on water. Right?

Pope to visit Phila. in 2008? [Philly.com]

Reason #38 To Love Philadelphia: Peter Capra

Okay, so Peter Capra’s from Jersey, but whatever. Recently, Capra sent postcards to Jon Corzine wishing death on politicians. He also sent postcards to the town council of Parsippany, N.J., and the pope. (I’m not sure his holiness is interested in who one man wishes is dead, but I digress.) Oh, and Capra didn’t just want politicians dead, he wrote that he prayed that “politicians are stoned to death.”

Right now you’re pretty much thinking this story can’t get any better. Well, here’s the text of his postcard:

I prey [sic] politicians are stoned to death and the goo flushed into the sewer.

When you stone someone, do you get goo left over? Ew.

Parsippany Council Vice President James Vigilante — he was going to become a cop but for his last name — notified the police, but they confirmed that the 77-year-old Capra wasn’t going to stone anyone to death anytime soon. (Vigilante overestimated Capra, saying he thought “prey” had a hunting connotation. In reality, Capra just spelled it wrong.)

Capra isn’t done. Last Thursday, the Morristown Daily Record got another postcard from Capra that read: “I’m still praying that politicians are stoned to death.” Apparently, he wants them stoned to death because of tax increases. “I don’t care what people think. I’m telling people what I think,” he said.

In case you’re wondering, I’ve already penciled in Capra for 2007’s People of the Year awards.

Angry postcards deemed not a threat [Camden Courier-Post]