Why am I doing this/ I really don’t know/ I must be drunk/ clap, clap, clap, clap

The biggest news in the state this week — and by “state,” I mean “Pennsylvania besides Philadelphia” — is clearly the attempt by Harrisburg’s Capital City Polka Dancers to set a record for chicken dancing.

Now, spokespeople for Cap City say they’re not quite sure why they want to set a record for most people chicken dancing at once. They always play the song at the Pennsylvania Farm Show, and, well, apparently Pennsylvanians always get down.

The problem is, after Cap City decided they wanted to set the Guinness World Record for largest chicken dance, they realized that the current record — 72,000 people at the Canfield (Ohio) Fair, a record set in 1996 — is impossible to break at the Pennsylvania Farm Show, since 72,000 people can’t even fit into the building where it’s held. (Incidentally, next time somebody makes a “Pennsyltucky” joke, please tell him or her that seventy-two thousand people did the freakin’ Chicken Dance at a fair in Ohio, and Pennsylvania could never even begin to match that type of ruralness.)

Anyway, after realizing they couldn’t set the record for world’s largest Chicken Dance, Cap City just made up a new category: world’s largest indoor Chicken Dance. This is what people in the world record biz call a really fucking lame workaround.

They got 350 people to sign verification sheets, which makes me think that, well, they’re not going to get the record. But never fear! If you think you can set your own indoor Chicken Dance record, you certainly can: The Inquirer article includes a nine-step set of directions on how to do the Chicken Dance. Get down!

Chicken Dance record requires a lot of pluck [Inky]