More Police Sketch Madness

So far in 2008, we’ve had quite a few police sketches of creepy-looking characters. Paleface, of course, and King Tut as well. Earlier this week the police released new sketches of a man accused in four sexual assaults and one murder in Fairmount Park from 2003 to 2007.

As a public service, I’ve posted the various sketches above. Basically, I want to keep chronicling all the police sketches this year, and by the end we will have a whole art collection of the scariest-looking criminals in the area.

New Sketch Of Fairmount Park Rapist Released [CBS 3]

Artsy Sketch Of Alleged Carjacker

Feast your eyes on the sketch of an alleged attempted carjacker in Ridley! Although this police sketch looks more like a person than most, it also appears to have been drawn in the style a co-worker identified as “high school art class.”

And look at it! It’s totally an art-class sketch, perhaps displayed in the library along with portraits of other high school janitors. Also this man is wearing the smallest baseball cap in the world. And look at that cap-to-brim size ratio! If you do see this small-headed man on the street, please contact Ridley Township Detectives.

Ridley cops investigating an attempted carjacking [Delco Times]

Well-Drawn Creepy Guy Wanted

Hey, so here’s the newest guy wanted for a crime who has a funny police sketch.

Previously in this series: Paleface, King Tut.

Sketch Looks Almost Human

CBS 3’s midday news just showed this police sketch; this nice man apparently tried to threaten a teenager with a box cutter from his car.

But, ah, look at him: He kind of looks like a real person. Yes, this year has so far brought us Paleface and King Tut. Now, at least one sketch that actually appears to resemble a human being. The mind boggles.

Pharaoh Robbing Video Game Stores

A police sketch to rival Paleface:

He looks like a pharaoh of some sort, maybe a Conehead? I dunno. I think if you see a guy who looks like that, you should call the police immediately, regardless of whether you saw this sketch or not.

Game stop stores targeted by robbers [6 ABC]
Jan. 15: Flat, Pale Character Wanted By Police

Flat, Pale Character Wanted By Police

Officials released this sketch of a suspect in a homicide in Delaware last month. “Be on the lookout for the very pale man,” a release said. “He is considered armed and dangerous, as he appears to have stepped right out of an indie comic book.”

Suspect Sketch Released In Deadly Del. Shooting [AP/CBS 3]

Grizzly Adams Turns To Life Of Crime

State police are looking for a man who allegedly attempted to lure a boy into his car by saying he was looking for his missing dog Friday afternoon in Montgomery County.

Here’s the sketch:

Hmm. Well, it’s not Phillyskyline’s Brad Maule, he wasn’t around this weekend. Man, I really do think it is Grizzly Adams!

Attempted Luring Reported [6 ABC]

Hipsters Begin Impersonating Cops

In Waterford, New Jersey, there’s a police officer impersonator on the loose, and cops have released this sketch:

So, if you see a hotter version of the unabomber or Danny Masterson, be sure to notify police.

Police Impersonator Wanted in Waterford, NJ [6 ABC]

‘Yeah, well I’m taller — and fatter!’

Over the weekend, a man in Chester County posed as a policeman and robbed a woman at gunpoint. Police released this sketch:

So, you know, if you see a fat Speed-era Keanu Reeves, please call Chester County police immediately.

Man Robs Woman While Posing As Officer In Chester County [NBC 10]
Speed [IMDB]

Quickies: Apocalypse Philadelphia, Now

• Stop the presses! Notorious B.I.G. (or the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, or The Blob, or whatever joke you want to make) is wanted for a crime in Philadelphia (left)! Although the police sketch is a bit just like a circle with eyes drawn on, how many 350-pound men with “buff” on their arm could there be? Shouldn’t be too hard to catch. [Sketch scanned in from DN]

• Once the best in the NHL, the Flyers lose their third straight. Even worse, star (and dreamboat) Peter Forsberg goes down with a groin injury. This game was played right by the xylene accident. Coincidence? I think not. [Inky]

• The city yesterday was overrun by Ben Franklins. Simply overrun! [Inky]

• An ex-Philadelphia cop is slain by his ex-lover’s son, who also happens to be the son of a Philadelphia police officer assigned to the mayor’s security detail. And by all accounts the dude was a God-fearing, nice dude. Yikes. [DN]

• And, in the most nefarious Apocalypse Philadelphia news yet: Southampton Days chairman seeks answers! Everybody run! [Bucks County Courier Times]