Aug18 |
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Out-Of-State Winies, The LCB, And God
In the beginning, God created man and the ethyl alcohol molecule. Later, man discovered the ethyl alcohol molecule was psychoactive. In other words, he discovered how to get drunk. Alcohol is officially endorsed by both God and Jesus, and as such it’s one of the most popular drugs in the world. But even though God and Jesus both love alcohol, some people thought it shouldn’t exist. So the U.S. banned alcohol and everything was fine except for the flagrant violation of the alcohol laws and the gang wars and the deaths from contaminated alcohol and (most importantly) the loss of tax revenue. America got rid of Prohibition and Pennsylvania founded the Liquor Control Board. Officially, Pennsylvania hoped for the return of Prohibition, if only to shut down the saloons in Philadelphia (see, in some ways this Prohibition wasn’t about alcohol at all!). But soon the state did discover the value of the tax revenue of drunks, and now it restricts the sale of “wine and spirits” to state-owned stores that usually suck. The most-famous alcohol tax in Pennsylvania is the Johnstown Flood Tax, originally levied at 10 percent to help the Western Pa. town recover from a 1936 flood. Now the money goes to the general fund. As you might have guessed, the rate is now 18 percent, having been raised for reasons not related to flooding in Johnstown. Yes, the state loves alcohol revenue. It gets better: The state once banned out-of-state wineries from shipping directly to consumers in Pennsylvania, because that makes sense. But a bunch of court rulings eventually made that law unconstitutional, so now somehow the state is going to make a new law that will do the same thing and (I guess, you never know) be constitutional. All of this is being done to “protect the children,” because allowing wineries to ship alcohol to Pennsylvania residents would make it easier for kids to get booze. They, apparently, do not have access to it now. For more information, consult your local anti-Pennsylvania LCB bloq. Pa. Lawmakers May Restrict Wine Shipments [AP/NBC 10] |
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