Allentown Pizza Shop Butchers Deer (Mistakenly)

Ahh, late fall in Pennsylvania. Cold but beautiful weather. Not-quite-bare trees. Butchering deer carcasses in pizzerias.

Yes, a pizzeria in Allentown nearly got in trouble after a city health inspector saw a deer being butchered in the shop’s kitchen. Allentown spokesman Michael Moore (ha, ha) said a customer reported seeing the doe in the pizzeria’s kitchen.

The Morning Call reports that “the pizza shop’s manager said it was a huge misunderstanding.” Tell me about it! (Rimshot.)

Manager John Okumus said he shot several deer on the second day of hunting season, then wrapped a doe and left it in the back of the pizza shop for a friend to pick up. Like you do.

Apparently, one of the cooks started butchering the deer. Just all a big misunderstanding. I really enjoy Okumus’ quote, though:

“The health department did their job, a good job,” said Okumus, who was back at work today. “There are bad people out there. But, the deer was not to sell.”

There are bad people who… what? Want to sell deer pizza? How dare they hunt and then sell the food to others!

For those wondering what, exactly, was in violation of the law here, “according to the food facility inspection report, only food from an approved source is permitted in a food establishment.” You may hunt and kill as many deer as you possibly can, but by God you better not attempt to bring them into a restaurant kitchen.

Update: On a side note, do not feed pizza to deer (via Slice comments).

City says pizzeria butchered deer; manager claims misunderstanding [The Morning Call]
Photo used under a Creative Commons license

Rutgers Holds Important Academic Event

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Media Just Like A Sad Puppy To Obama

Barack Obama’s big speech on race was like 84 billion minutes long. It was good and all — I mean, it was good when I was paying attention to it in the beginning — but then it kept going on and on. I especially liked the part where he was like, “My grandma was scared of black people!” Oh, you silly white people.

Obama and Hillary “Rodham” Clinton aren’t just chilling in Philadelphia; they both have to go all over the state in order to get these people to vote for them and oh my God John McCain is going to be president, isn’t he? Anyway, apparently while up in the Wilkes-Barre area, Barack Obama was mean to The Times Leader, the paper of record:

“Look, we’re not here to answer questions from The Times Leader all day,” said Sean Smith, an Obama press official. “You will get releases as soon as they are available.”

You take that, Times Leader! It is interesting that for once Hillary Clinton is the warm-’n'-fuzzy lovable, hug-able candidate and Barack Obama is Mr. Meanie. But Obama is the one the press is in favor of, according to conventional wisdom; even though he treats them like crap, they keep coming back like a dog. Aww, good boy.

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Super Mario Finally Defeated

The Fort Dix Six’s tremendous alleged plan to deliver pizza and attack an army base was foiled by the FBI last year. But the anger about the plot still apparently lives on with New Jersey residents.

Last year, the Council on American-Islamic Relations wanted a little boy arrested and thrown in jail forever for calling the sister of one of the arrested a terrorist and punching her in the face. And now, the father and owner of the pizza shop says his life is ruined. It’s the New York Post’s fault, of course.

The demise of the pizza business began abruptly three days after Serdar was arrested, Muslim Tatar said. That’s when an editorial cartoon in The New York Post showed two soldiers buying a pizza from a bearded, turban-wearing man with a gun. The pizza box says “Super Mario’s Pizza,” and inside, along with a pizza, are a bomb, stick of dynamite and hand grenade.

He also got a bunch of hate mail from idiots and lost a customer who said, “We didn’t want to get involved with it.” Now the shop is closed. Another victory over Islamic terrorism!

Dad of Fort Dix plot suspect says his life’s in shambles [AP/Camden Courier-Post]

Columbus Skyline Towers Over Philadelphia

In the last 2-3 weeks, coveted Best of Citysearch signs went up across town. (Citysearch is a Microsoft-owned bar, restaurant, nightlife et al guide, in case you don’t use the Internet.)

And, uh, there’s one little snag, as Phillyskyline.com’s Brad Maule points out:

Yep. Joe’s Pizza of Philadelphia: The best of Columbus, Ohio.

Citysearch
Phillyskyline

Scientists Finally Do Something To Help People

Scientists at the University of Maryland are developing a pizza they say can fight serious illnesses, such as heart disease and cancer.

Next up: Donuts that help you lose weight.

Scientists Claim Healthy Pizza Fights Diseases [NBC 10]

Workers Trick Dim-Witted, Stamina-Impaired Robber

A robber attempted to rob Old English Pizza in Oxford Circle last night around 9:30 p.m. Only problem: He’s apparently been eating nothing but pizza for the past few years, judging by how it went down.

It all started when the suspect went into the pizza shop, asked for a pizza, then demanded all the money in the cash register. The woman at the front, store manager Demetra Tsiakanikas, told him he’s making a mistake. She then proceeded to tell him there was a cop in the back.

The man decided he believed her and ran out of the store. At this point, the juvenile robber was chased and caught after a few blocks by a pizza worker — several of them chased him — and then the police. But, hey, he almost got a full day’s worth of pizza earnings without having to do any work for it! That should make him feel better for being outwitted and outran by a pizza parlor staff.

Pizzeria Workers Nab Would-Be Robber [CBS 3]

Leftovers: You Say Upside-Down Pie, I Say Tomato Pie

• The Daily News otherwise outstanding article about tomato pies at Tony’s in Mayfair and other fine pizza places did omit Merc Brothers on the Boulevard. A letter to the editor is forthcoming. [Daily News]

• Get the rid of a drug dealer without selling any drugs! Start your own business? No way! Just pick up a cheap car at Bristol’s drug kingpin car auction, this Friday and Saturday. Bids as low as $20! (No, really.) [NBC 10]

• A study says that a bachelor’s degree is worth about $23,000 a year. Sweet. Or, if you’re a professional blogger, $23,000 less than that. [AP/CBS 3]

• A report out of New York City blames the free daily papers, including the esteemed Metro, for subway flooding. SEPTA hears this, comes up with a great idea for an excuse this winter. [N.Y. Sun]

• And, finally, Tara Reid is blaming her dating woes on her boob job. Yeah, I’m totally stealing that excuse. [NBC 10]

‘10!’ Show Continues Pizza Party

For the past few weeks, we’ve been mystified by the mile-a-second, 25-guests-every-day 10! show, specifically its Papa John’s pizza giveaway and its inability to set it up in any realistic fashion.

Today, it continues:

The end gets a little hard to see (especially on YouTube) with that breaking news update, so we took a screenshot the best part for youse.

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10! Show’s Pizza Parade Continues

The 10! show on NBC 10 does a weekly promotion where they give someone a Papa John’s pizza. Sometimes, people act really excited.

And, sometimes, they don’t play the part quite as well:

July 21: And You Thought You Liked Pizza