Philly.com’s New Robot Reporters Still Need Some Tweaking

New, improved at airport [Inquirer]

Airport Actually #1 In Something

DRAFT Magazine — a magazine, apparently — recently ranked the top 10 airports for beer, and what do you know, Philadelphia International Airport ranked first, having 48 taps at several terminals.

Thanks to Jet Rock, Philly features the rare jewel of a big-selection airport bar in not one, but four terminals. The rock ‘n’ roll-themed restaurants in terminals B, C, and D pull 48 taps (24 in F) with a mix of local micros and big-brewery lagers.

The idea of a rock ‘n’ roll-themed restaurant sounds pretty terrible — ever been to Hard Rock? — but with 48 taps, there’s certain to be a beer you’ll like. It makes sense, though: Only a lot of beer could make PHL palatable.

PHL tops in hops [Food & Drinq]

Crack Airline Security Does It Again

Some dude angry about a long wait for apple juice forced a flight headed to North Carolina to be diverted to Philadelphia.

Officials say the man became irate and used profanity aboard a Delta flight from LaGuardia airport in New York to Greensboro, NC on Tuesday afternoon around 5pm.

The flight was diverted to Philadelphia, where it was determined that the man had become upset over a lengthy wait for some apple juice he had ordered.

The FBI is “tight-lipped” about its investigation, but expect tomorrow the announcement of the capture of the infamous Apple Juice Bomber.

Man Angry Over Apple Juice Forces Plane to Land in Philadelphia [KYW 1060]

Philadelphia Protected From Ass-Fetish Terrorist

An Iraqi national living in Atlantic City forced a Philadelphia-bound flight to divert to Las Vegas last week after airport security found several items in his ass.

Here’s what he was trying to sneak onto the plane in his ass:

Fadhel Al-Maliki, a 35-year-old Iraqi national living in Atlantic City, N.J., had been flagged by security officials at LAX and was undergoing a secondary “selectee screening” when he set off a metal detector. Al-Maliki, a former security guard, told screeners that he knew what had triggered the alarm and proceeded to remove items from his rectum, including a rock, chewing gum and thin wire filament.

I’m not quite sure what he was going to do with a rock, gum and wire, but perhaps he’s the Iraqi version of MacGuyver. Of course, crack American investigators quickly ruled out any theories that make any sense.

A preliminary investigation appeared to rule out a theory that Al-Maliki may have been looking for weaknesses in security or was rehearsing for a terrorist act, federal and local law enforcement authorities said.

During questioning, Al-Maliki said the objects in his rectum were used to alleviate stress, federal law enforcement sources said.

The rock, authorities said he told them, was from another planet.

I heard this is why we haven’t captured Osama Bin Laden. Every time anybody gets close to him, he puts all his terrorist training tools up his ass and then says they were just there to relieve stress.

Hidden Objects in Passenger’s Body Triggers Bomb Squad Call, Flight Diversion [LA Times/AirportBusiness.com via Johnny Goodtimes]

[Photo via CBC. I'm not quite sure where that airplane is taking off from, either.]

Milton Street Indicted, To Announce Mayoral Bid Soon

The mayor’s brother, Milton, has been indicted for tax evasion and corruption charges related to — what else? — his contract at PHL.

The Inquirer’s John Shiffman and Marcia Gelbart report:

.A federal grand jury alleged that after John F. Street took office in January 2000, Milton Street “began hiring himself out as a highly paid consultant to area businesses who believed that Milton Street could help them obtain business with the city of Philadelphia.”

From 2000 to 2004, Milton Street received about $2 million in consulting and other non-vending income, none of which he reported to the Internal Revenue Service, the grand jury charged. He was hired by a company called Philadelphia Airport Services to be a consultant for $30,000 a month, the grand jury said.

Milton Street was also the president of a company named Notlim, which was certified with the city’s Minority Business Enterprise Council.

Aw, Milton. What would we do without you?

Update: The Inquirer has a Flash photo gallery up of Milton Street through the years. It’s like fucking Christmas here today.

Milton Street indicted on corruption, tax charges [Inquirer]

Superairline Would Make PHL Service Worse, Somehow

This morning US Airways offered to buy Delta Airlines when it emerges from bankruptcy in a deal the company valued at $8 billion. It’s a hostile takeover attempt, which sounds a lot more fun than it really is.

What does this mean for you, the possible airline passenger? Not much, unless you’re planning to travel internationally. Delta’s hub is JFK Airport, while US Airways’ is our own PHL. Currently, the two companies compete for, say, American passengers who are looking to fly on nonstop transatlantic flights. If there’s no more competition, then… well:

If the merger occurs by the second quarter of 2007, which US Airways said it would like to do, some overlapping service to smaller European cities could be cut.

Take a guess which airport they’re going to cut service from.

US Airways bids $8B for Delta; Phila. flights could be affected [Inquirer]

Airport’s Problems Blamed On Problems

It’s been a while since anyone heard any horror stories from the Philadelphia International Airport, so it’s just about time for some new problems at the Philadelphia International Airport.

The recent problem concerns the airport’s luggage conveyor belt at the A-West Terminal, which has broken down six times in the past week. It’s forced overseas flights to leave without passengers’ luggage, delayed several flights and, of course, pissed a bunch of people off.

It’s okay, though, because things are on the up and up:

Airport officials, who are responsible for maintaining the belt, are still trying to determine if the glitches are due to design flaws, the heavy load of bags on the belt, or the way US Airways employees are using it, Isdell said.

Mark Gale, the airport’s deputy director for operations, said he expected the problem to be resolved “very quickly,” but he did not estimate how long that would be.

Okay, so it’s either the luggage, the design or the employees operating it. I’m glad we’ve narrowed the problem down.

New Phila. luggage woes for US Airways [Inquirer]

Leftovers: US Airways Delays Luggage At PHL; In Other News, The Earth Revolves Around The Sun

• In a shocker, luggage was delayed at the airport! And the passengers were pissed! And then a fight ensued! Ahh, just another day at Philadelphia International Airport. [Inquirer]

• NB to drunk drivers: If you managed to get all the way to your house without crashing, try not to run into your garage. And, if you do run into your garage, probably best not to call the cops on yourself. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• The Philadelphia MLS team will apparently never be. Or, rather, the Gloucester/Philly MLS team. Or something. Basically, what we’re trying to say here is Rowan had its funding cut and the soccer stadium the college was going to build is not going to happen. On the upside, this means more emails from those guys at phillysoccer.com. [Inquirer]

• Some people are looking to buy the Sixers for as much as $450 million. Do you think that they’d like to invest in Philadelphia Will Do? If the 76ers could fetch almost a half billion dollars, I think this blog’s worth at least $100 mil. [Inky]

• An update: When Philly Future gets bought, we all cash in! I’m gonna start putting in the pool now. [Philly Future]

Somehow, This Hasn’t Improved The Airport’s Image

An airport aide has filed a lawsuit against the city for allegedly violating his freedom of expression.

After Saul Ravitch, who worked in public relations, publicly criticized the airport to the Daily News in 2005 — as well as in a lengthy email and in opinion pieces — he was stripped of Internet and email access. Later, he was suspended.

And what was Ravitch’s job as airport PR specialist?

Ravitch’s boss, airport public- relations manager Mark Pesce, declined comment yesterday. He told Ravitch in a memo last year that his “fundamental job function is to promote and enhance the Airport’s image.”

And, really, what a bang-up job he’s doing.

Airport aide, suspended for criticizing bosses, sues city [Daily News]