Boot Removal Fines Go Way Up

When some people get the boot put on their car (for, say, unpaid parking tickets), they do the only plausible thing: Use magical powers to take it off and drive away scot free. Or maybe they use a jackhammer or crowbar or something. Apparently you can also deflate the tire and a few other tricks.

The city doesn’t like this, obviously, and so recently City Council began the process to raise fines for boot removal! Everyone’s favorite public servant, Vince Fennerty of the Philadelphia Parking Authority, explained to a Council committee:

“There are people in the city that think they can cut a boot off. It’s illegal.”

Fennerty is mum on how it’s done: “The boots are very sophisticated. I don’t believe it is crow-bar oriented. And I will not comment further because I don’t want to give anyone any ideas.”

He asked for a $400 raise of the $300 fine, but Council went one better and made it $1000. I am certain the people with unpaid parking tickets will now be deterred. Erhm.

Higher Fines Planned for Phila. ”Boot” Escape Artists [KYW 1060]

Free Saturday Parking!

Hey, I almost forgot! Parking is free on Saturdays after 11 a.m. for the rest of the year. “We have the free meter parking every Saturday,” says PPA spokeswoman Linda Miller. [KYW 1060]

Parking Authority Shockingly Politicized

As Obama talks about race and Eliot Spitzer bangs call girls, you think the local papers would attempt to up the ante on scandals. Nope! Today’s Daily News details all the money going to Republicans from red light cameras in Northeast Philly.

Some lobbyist for the firm that runs the red light cameras gave most of his money to people who now have approved red light cameras. And now he’s donating to Democrats as well, because the red light camera program needs to be expanded.

Yes, this is how politics work, especially in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Why single out the Parking Authority as an inept patronage bureaucracy (or whatever) when you can say that about everything?

Red lights mean green for GOP [Daily News]

Parking Drug Wars

Yep, this is Philadelphia: A “well-connected” Philadelphia Parking Authority painter — yes, a well-connected painter — previously convicted of arson and burglary has been arrested again, this time for allegedly selling meth.

Cops say they caught Vernon Kulb, who’s worked for the PPA since 2004, with over a quarter-pound of meth valued at $10,000. A quarter pound is more than enough to trigger felony intent to deliver charges, which probably means Phillyist will name him its Asshole of the Week. (It usually has something to do with drugs, for some reason. DARE sponsorship?)

Kulb only got the job because his daddy lobbied to the executive director. Not his fault; he’s just playin’ by the rules here in Boss Tweed. But apparently this was his fault:

Kulb’s criminal history goes back 25 years, when Kulb and several other juveniles were convicted of setting fire to trash in abandoned Kensington buildings, and threatening a witness they suspected of talking to police.

” ‘If you are going to court to testify . . . your house will definitely go up,’ ” Kulb warned the witness, according to her later testimony. Two fires subsequently were set at her home, and she received an anonymous letter threatening: “You talk to police and you die.”

Ho ho! Let’s hope he wasn’t painting with inflammable materials during his time at the PPA.

Well-connected Parking Authority painter facing drug charges [Daily News]

Amtrak To Screw Up Entire East Coast

Everything seems to be going pretty smoothly for SEPTA recently. The transit agency raised fares without any riots, it’s planning to update to a smart card system for fare collection and it now has state money coming in. Nothing is that easy, though; SEPTA might have to shut down six regional rail lines due to a possible Amtrak strike beginning on Jan. 30.

The regional rail lines that run on Amtrak lines are: R1 Airport, R2 Newark, R5 Paoli, R6 Cynwyd, R7 Trenton and R8 Chestnut Hill West. (The Inquirer says it would affect 54,000 daily rail riders.) Similarly, NJ Transit would have to shut down its Northeast Corridor Line, which runs from Trenton to New York and is by far the best way to get into New York City. (SEPTA to NJ Transit to Penn Station. When I started college, this was actually pretty cheap, too!)

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Parking Authority Fills Writers Strike Void

The writers strike needs to end. This week, there’s three straight nights of Deal or No Deal.

Similarly, the Parking Authority is going to be spotlighted in a reality show on A&E.

Parking Authority spokeswoman Linda Miller said yesterday that A&E crews spent months following some of the authority’s 265 ticket-writers, 23 wheel-booters and 60 towers.

Supervisor Sean Pomroy said the crews would show up at morning roll calls on and off from May until November and more or less randomly pick employees to follow. He said he hadn’t seen much stage fright among his parking-enforcement officers.

“I think it came pretty naturally to the ones they picked,” said Pomroy, who also wrote and produced a hip-hop song about “the people you love to hate” that he said will be used in the series.

Oh, goodie. A hip hop song about the Parking Authority.

Also: Tonight there’s a reality show about Penn State’s campus newspaper. (Thanks, boss!)

The World May Be Free To Rock In, But Parking Is Not

“Okay, parking, parking, what would be a good lead for a story about parking… hmm… euphemism for car sex? Nah, not in the Inquirer! Wait, a music reference! Yes, that’s it. Well, let’s see, the story’s about the Philadelphia Parking Authority’s new overnight ticketing of people in front of hyrdrants, in fire zones, et cetera.

“The Cars? ‘More parking enforcement is just what the city needed!’ Nah, that’s too on-point. How about Gary Numan? ‘Here in my car, I can get ticketed for parking, in front of a fire hydrant, even at four a.m. … in cars!’ No, no, that’s too long. Paradise by the dashboard light featuring Phil Rizzuto?

“Wait, I got it!”

Rust never sleeps.

Neither does the Philadelphia Parking Authority, which since October has run a third shift between 10:30 p.m. and 6:30 a.m. to crack down on the most potentially dangerous violations of the city’s parking laws.

Over at 14th Windiest State, RJ came up with a mini-contest: Come up with your best alterna-lead for the story, using other Neil Young song titles. Buffalo Springfield and CSNY count, too, which is nice, because then I can use “Stop, hey! What’s that sound? Your car is headed to the impound!”

Ticketing on four-way street [14th Windiest State]
Overnight parking crackdown grows [Inquirer]