Kids Nowadays Can’t Scuffle Without Making Front-Page News

It was a slow news week for gays. And why not? Now that the Republicans — well, some of them, anyway — have decided that demonizing illegal immigrants, not gays, is the way to shore up the base, there just really wasn’t much gay political news this week. And the Mass. ruling on not allowing out-of-state gay couples to marry didn’t break until yesterday, seemingly too late for this week’s paper.

That slow news week led to this article, on the front page of the new edition of the Philadelphia Gay News today:

A disturbance occurred the evening of March 23 outside of The Attic Youth Center, 255 S. 16th St. According to police reports, an 18-year-old female claimed that a male bumped into her at 6:52 p.m while she was tying her sneaker. The incident was coded as a disturbance. No charges were filed.

In response to being pushed, the female punched the male and his friends began fighting with her friend, police said. During the scuffle, pepper spray was released. The male and his acquaintances fled before the police arrived. Complainants and witnesses said they knew the other youths.

Police later found the suspects at the corner of Broad and Spruce streets.

The victim and her friends could not identify the person who released the spray. Though no formal charges were filed, the 18-year-old can file a private criminal complaint with the District Attorney’s office.

So, basically, a kid bumped into another kid and they fought. That’s front page material!

Altercation at the Attic [Philadelphia Gay News]

Nope, sorry, going to have to do better than that

I added in that helpful word “gay” with the proofreading mark above. Without it, it seems like marriage is illegal in Jersey, which, if true, would probably make it the most populous state in the union, since every single person would want to live there.

Then again, maybe not. The real factoid learned from the above man-on-the-street inerview from the Philadelphia Gay News, however, is this: New Jersey can’t do anything — not even legalizing gay marriage — to make someone want to do anything but visit there.

Street Talk: Would you move to New Jersey if marriage were legalized there? [Philadelphia Gay News]

An explanation here, I think, would not clear anything up

Thanks, Philadelphia Gay News! Here’s to 30 more years!

After the jump, the final three gay subcultures that people on the street would like explained.

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Quickies: Hellos and goodbyes and birthdays

• I just got forwarded an email from Charles Bennison, Jr. (left), the Espicopal Bishop of the Diocese Pennsylvania, that says he was asked to resign effective March 31. He writes that “if you felt that I were not leading the diocese effectively and asked me to resign, I would pray about it, and, if I felt it were God’s will, I would do so. I am seriously praying about the Standing Committee’s request, and I ask that you pray for me, for our colleagues throughout the diocese, and above all for the unity and health of our diocese.” As a Catholic, I’m not sure if this is a huge deal, but make of it what you will. The full email is after the jump.

• According to his Myspace profile, indie rock and Princeton basketball guru Jon Solomon will be producing a biweekly podcast featuring local artists called “Local Support” for PW competitor Citypaper starting in March. Looks like I need to saddle up. Or, you know, we can all coexist in this here “Internet” thing. [Myspace]

• A very happy birthday to the Philadelphia Gay News, who is seven years older than me, and they’ve totally kissed more people than I have, too. Boys and girls. [PGN]

• Also, today, none other than Mozart is 250. In, uhm, less fun news, it’s also Holocaust Memorial Day. And while the Apollo 1 disaster killed three astronauts 39 years ago today, the Challenger was nice enough to wait a day and not add to the bummers remembered today. [Wikipedia]

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Michael Irvin, for instance

It’s not just for the Metro anymore. The first response to this week’s man-on-the-street interview in the Philadelphia Gay News:

Not to doubt your earlier statement, but, uhm, dude. Nobody’s ever thought of cowboys as gay before? Whatever.

Street talk: How well will Brokeback Mountain do at the box office? [PGN]