Loch Ness Monster Shuts Down Crime Cameras

A 23-year-old man was shot and killed outside a Chinese restaurant over the weekend. Fortunately, there were cameras outside the restaurant, and the killer will hopefully soon be identified.

Ha ha, just kidding! (Not about the homicide, but about the cameras.) In yet another example of the incompetence of Big Brother, the cameras outside the Chinese restaurant were not working. (If Nineteen Eighty-Four were real, Winston’s time in Room 101 would have been spent playing with puppies.) Back in March, the cameras — installed by the Philadelphia Commercial Development Corporation — also didn’t work, so they’ve really made a lot of progress on the issue. (Hey, another parenthetical aside: Perhaps one of the problems was that ex-PCDC president and soon-to-be-City Councilman Curtis Jones said he had a master’s degree when in fact he had a certificate of compliance from a weekend seminar of some sort.)

Anyway, the PCDC does have an excuse for the non-working cameras.

The Philadelphia Commercial Development Corporation which runs the cameras, says hackers and a lightening strike were the reasons the cameras were off. The president of the PCDC says the cameras should be working again by Friday, and he wants the D-A and the US attorney to investigate the hackers.

Hackers and a lighting strike? Usually when you comes up with ideas for a ridiculous excuse to save face, you only choose one one those ideas.

But who knows. Perhaps there really were hackers. I don’t know what they were like, but I can only assume they are like Angelina Jolie and Jonny Lee Miller’s characters from the 1996 film Hackers, not nerdy script kiddies in their parents’ basement. This makes for a sexier story.

Anyway, next time this blog happens to be down, it’s the fault of Bigfoot and solar flares.

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