A Burgeoning Trend

I dare somebody to tell me this one is intentional.

M. Hoops | Insert Yale Headline [DP]
Feb. 11: FILL IN HEADLINE

Penn: Diverse, But Not

Big breaking news from a Penn class: Turns out, at Penn, all the races stick together!

Students in professor Paul Rozin’s Psychology 001 class conducted a “racial association” study which found that, despite Penn’s diverse student body, people on campus tend to spend time with others of the same ethnicity.

Geeze, they coulda learned that at Orientation 001. Or asked anyone who has ever gone to Penn. I’d bet it’s still a running joke in the student body. Rozin himself even knew what the results would be, but said “sometimes what we find out in psychology is that something everyone already knows is true, but once in a while we find it is the opposite of what we expect.” Makes sense.

Fair enough. Now let’s take a look at the students in the class who the Daily Pennsylvanian talked to:

But the point of this exercise was not simply to analyze data. Rozin said he was trying to teach his students how hard it is to make accurate observations. “It turns out when you want to observe something simple” - like someone’s race - “you have to make a lot of judgement calls,” Rozin said.

College sophomore Jayme van Oot conducted her study on a rainy day and said it was hard to discern race and ethnicity when people were wearing raincoats and holding umbrellas. “My results weren’t very accurate because they weren’t representative of a normal day,” van Oot said, adding that it is hard to categorize people unless you ask them to place themselves in a group.

College freshman Ali Levine also did not think her results were representative of those of the rest of the class. “I didn’t really see any patterns,” she said. “In fact, a lot of them were mixed groups.”

Hmm. I sense a pattern of my own here: No matter who the DP talks to, the response will be that he or she found a lot of mixed groups on campus, and he or she has lots of friends of other races.

Or, you know, small sample size. Or something, I dunno, let’s just hit “Send to Weblog” because I’ve spent far too much time on bad jokes in this post already.

A new kind of people-watching [DP]

Big News At Penn!

Front page of today’s Bulletin (which I found free at a Drexel parking lot, of course):

Whoa! Can the Penn news get any bigger?! Let’s check the Daily Pennsylvanian:

Caroline Stern, a College sophomore who lives on Beige Block, is thrilled that there is “finally” a CVS nearby. [Beige Block is on 41st. There is a CVS at 43rd and Locust.--ed.]

“It is phenomenal,” agreed College sophomore Rachel Cohen, her housemate.

Yes. Yes it can.

Brave Penn Kids Get McDonald’s Workers Fired

A group of Penn kids had a bad experience at the McDonald’s at 40th and Walnut the other night. This happens nearly every night, because when drunk kids from North Jersey and Long Island meet night shift workers making somewhere around minimum wage, no good things can happen.

Thanks to this being our modern era of technology, the Penn kids then made a group on Facebook imploring students to boycott McDonald’s. (It’s a well-known fact that nearly any event can lead Penn kids to boycott something, no matter how slight the offense.)

And, thanks to that, several workers at McDonald’s have been fired.

Wharton sophomore Keith Williams, who witnessed the incident, explained that he and a group of friends entered the McDonald’s that morning so his friend, a College junior who did not wish to be included in the article, could use the restroom.

The security guard told them that the friend was not allowed to use the restroom until he ordered food. The student proceeded to order a meal, Williams said, but the cashier made a mistake and needed an override from the shift manager.

Because the friend had already complained about the service, the manager on duty “deliberately told [the cashier] to take her time,” explained Williams. When he complained again, the security guard jumped in and began threatening the students.

The guard said things like “don’t make me take you out of here,” and referred to the rest of the customers as “stupid school kids,” Williams said. The cashier also screamed at the students for standing too close while trying to read the menu, Williams added.

Ha ha, I know what you’re thinking: This is the greatest McDonald’s of all time and it is totally worth eating their disgusting food to support it. Apparently, though, the McDonald’s caved to the record 17 (!!) complaints about its service and fired some people. For shame, McDonald’s.

And shame on the Daily Pennsylvanian, too, for using the phrases “a College junior who did not wish to be included in the article” and “a College sophomore who witnessed the incident but wished to remain anonymous for fear of repercussions.” Look, the least you can do is write these peoples’ names, so we can more easily mock them online.

McDonald’s boycott [sic] leads to firings [DP]