Horrifying Lottery Mascots Terrorize Gallery

Philly Edge points to the horrifying mascots for Quinto, the Pennsylvania Lottery’s new twice-daily pick five game. The lottery is drawing some flak for them — but from anti-gambling advocates, not parents’ groups worried about the five giant penises walking around.

The phallic phive (obviously they need a nickname) apparently visited 10th and Market on Sept. 2; there is a whole gallery of awkward-looking gallery shoppers wondering, “Why are there, oh, I don’t know, five giant penises advertising for the lottery?”

I believe the protesters against a Gallery casino will be very successful if they dress up like this. Either way, though, there’s still gonna be gambling on Market East.

More images after the jump.

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A Genital Country Town

It seems as if everyone’s going for seventh-grade humor today. A Phillyblog poster notes the Google Trends page for penis, which shows Philadelphia ranked #2 in number of searches for “penis.” We’ll catch up one day, New Dehli!

Unless the blue bars represent penis size, in which case: Ladies, move to Philadelphia!

Philadelphians Are Obsessed With Penis [Phillyblog]
Thanks, Alli!

Defendant Tries ‘Giant Penis’ Defense

The lawyer for a Lansdale man accused of raping a 13-year-old girl wants to have a plaster cast made of his client’s penis to use as evidence at his trial that he didn’t commit the crime.

His defense lawyer, Marvin Gold of Hatboro, on Thursday explained his reasoning behind seeking the cast. He said that his client’s penis is apparently “extremely large.”

Gold also told the court — all of this really actually happened — “It occurs to me that, given my client’s size, it’s unusual there were no injuries.” It appears we’ve stumbled upon the “my penis is too large to commit rape” defense, a close cousin of the “I’m too pretty to rape someone” defense. Classy!

The defense lawyer for Ronald McDade asked last month how he should display his client’s genitals to the jury; after the judge acquiesced to a photo of his penis, the lawyer came up with the idea for a giant plaster dildo. Prison officials refused.

The prosecution is, naturally, opposed to the idea, saying that McDade’s “demand to provide the defendant privacy in prison so that he may… make a plaster cast of his erect penis is outrageous, offensive, and sensational. It makes a mockery of the criminal justice system and this court.” Hmm.

DA opposed plaster in rape case [The Intelligencer]

This Guy Should Be A Blog Commenter

In New Jersey, the top official in charge of the state’s Open Public Records Act has filed harassment charges against a critic of hers. As you all know, voicing your opinion is illegal, and so blah blah blah. Let’s just get to the funny quote and the reason for the charges:

The critic, Thomas Caggiano, 62, of Stanhope, is scheduled to appear Friday before Trenton Municipal Court Judge Louis S. Sancinito to be tried on harassment charges filed in October by Catherine Starghill, executive director of the Government Records Council,the state agency that makes sure government bodies comply with the law that guarantees access to public documents.

Caggiano — who has cited that law in pursuit of records several times and is a critic of Starghill and the records council — said the charges stem from a cartoon he sent the GRC depicting a digital rectal exam (without a penis included).

If only Alycia Lane had done this instead of allegedly punching a cop. I enjoy that this is what the guy being charged admitted to. It’s certainly, um, interesting. And confusing. Without a penis? What?

Giant Penis In Tree Apparently Banal

A Gchat conversation:

Friend: my camera is dead but there is a penis with a parachute at 18th and arch hanging out of a tree

me: sadly, i’m working from home now
Friend: supposedly they do it fairly often but this is the first time i saw it