Lead Of The Day, Chosen People Edition

In Hebrew, rabbi means “teacher.”

Rabbi adapts to new kidney [Camden Courier-Post]

Keystone Cops: Wait, ‘America’s Most Wanted’ Is Still On?

Keystone Cops is a look at police, crime and public safety news.

• New Jersey authorities began receiving tips about the Atlantic City serial killer after the killings were featured on America’s Most Wanted. Authorities responded by saying it’s not a serial killer. [Inquirer]

• After Felicia Johnson was convicted for first degree murder, she tried to throw a water pitcher and a microphone at the judge. She was found guilty of murdering a 15-year-old and making the janitor work overtime. [NBC 10]

• The (Pointless) War on Drugs did at least lead to this lead today: “More than a dozen local crack suppliers will be having a blue, blue Christmas - without their cherished drug stashes - because of two well-timed weekend raids.” The second “blue” is what sells it, I think. [Daily News]

• And a standoff with police also led to another good journalism moment, this headline on the West Chester Daily Local’s website: “BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS! Standoff ends in Uwchlan.” [Daily Local]

Abridged ‘Daily News’ Columnists

Phil Goldsmith: “WHAT’S THE SOUND of one hand clapping? You don’t have to answer the question. I am using it as an example of a koan, which is a type of question used in Eastern spiritual religions, such as Zen. It’s a riddle that is solved more by intuition than reason.” Hey, an Overwritten Lead of the Moment!

Jill Porter: My column did something!

‘Bulletin’ Runs Best Lead Ever

In a column by Judie Brown, president of the American Life League:

When I first heard about the recently produced documentary, This Film Is Not Yet Rated, there was no real desire on my part to dig into the subject. After all, I thought, what has this got to do with ending abortion and stopping the spread of promiscuity that accompanies the entire panoply of birth control products?

Geeze, a little obsessed with your job, eh, Judie? After the jump, a bunch more excerpts to ease the pain of a Monday.

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The Big Showdown At The Linc

All week, everyone has been talking about the big showdown at Lincoln Financial Field this weekend. This much-hyped matchup has attracted all of Philadelphia’s attention. Previews of the game have led every newscast and been fronted on every paper since Tuesday.

It’s been a tough season so far, but our local boys seem up to the task of taking down the visitors’ star players and leading the team to victory.

Will the home team win? Philadelphia Will Do’s preview, after the jump.

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Sexy Has No Place Within these Walls

Suburban alt weekly Impulse reports in this week’s issue about the the problem of dressing too sexy at work.

Yes, that’s right, apparently there are some people — guess which gender! — who are being accused of showing too much money maker at the office. Philadelphia Will Do takes the stance that there is no such thing as looking too sexy at the office, but some professors at local colleges (la de da) think that there is:

“Basically, if it’s something you would wear around the house, on the weekend or on a date, I wouldn’t wear it to the office,” said Cherry Hill image consultant Rae Ann Broussard.

“The less skin you show, the less distracting you are,” she said. “I don’t want to sound like I’m bashing men, but let’s face it, we work with men and we don’t want to send the wrong message.”

I don’t want to sound like I’m bashing women, but obviously only a woman could say something this stupid.

The article isn’t all men-bashing, though. Oh, no, there is a great lead, and I’d like to preserve it below:

Justin Timberlake’s No. 1 pop song claims to be bringing “sexyback,” but that doesn’t mean sexy needs to be brought into the workplace, experts say.

Wait, that’s pretty much men-bashing, too. Screw you, JT, for bringing sexy into the workplace where it doesn’t belong!

Too sexy for work [Impulse]
Archives: Impulse

Second Totally Awesome Lead Of The Day

The Daily News‘ pregnant woman lead was pretty good. But the Inquirer might have one-upped the DN with this gem:

The two skydivers - a veteran instructor and a novice jumper who were tethered - lay dead, their bones in jumbles, on a Gloucester County lawn across from a Home Depot.

Okay, so this lead is like The Godfather.

Skydiving went on after deaths [Inquirer]

Like A Chocoholic, But For Crack

David Gambacorta reports today in the Daily News about a pregnant woman arrested for allegedly buying crack.

But that’s not all! You may remember Tamika Pennington, 31, from a story in 2002 when her 2-year-old son was found dead and police found her dancing in the street naked.

In true Daily News fashion, though, the story begins this way:

For many women, insatiable and odd cravings are a common part of pregnancy.

For some, it’s ice cream and pickles. For others, it’s seafood and peanut butter.

But when Tamika Pennington got a craving late last week, police said, it was for something a lot stronger - and illegal.

If leads were movies, this would be, like, Godfather II.

Pregnant mom in a pickle [Daily News]
Related: I’m Like A Chocoholic, But For Booze [The Onion]

Overwritten Lead Of The Moment, Tragedy Edition

The lead to a story in today’s Bucks County Courier Times about the possible closing of Pike Lanes:

Sam Wilf survived Auschwitz.

But after running Pike Lanes in Southampton for 30 years with his wife and son, it looked like his business wouldn’t survive.

Bowling alley gets a spare [Bucks County Courier Times]

Del. Teacher Provides Comic Fodder

A teacher at Dover High School in Delaware — that was, of course, the home of Matt Donegan — has been arrested for possessing child porn.

Here’s the second paragraph of Action News‘ story on the matter:

Dover High School has been rocked by charges that a chorus instructor was allegedly teaching more than music.

Yuk, yuk! A high school teacher with child porn! Teaching more than music! (Overwritten lead of the moment!)