Thome Will Get Ragged On For This Vagina Talk

Several things:

1. What the fuck? This is what happens on Oprah Winfrey’s show? Isn’t this the kind of stuff they fine Howard Stern for?
2. Nice fake Russian accent there, Oprah.
3. Yes, that’s former Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Jim Thome in the crowd there.
4. No, I don’t think his “I’m going to get ragged on” was an intentional pun, but it should have been.
5. Seriously, what the fuck?

Jim Thome And Oprah Are Douche-Free [Huge Tiny Mistake]

Leftovers: Box Wine: Not Just For The Lower-Class

• In yesterday’s Inquirer, Craig LaBan taste tested a bunch of hip three-liter box wines, which are supposed to give you more bang for your buck since the packaging is cheaper. The verdict: Eh. That’s good enough for me: To the state store! [Inky]

• If you’re wondering who Christine Flowers is blaming for John Bolton’s resignation, don’t bother. You wouldn’t be able to guess she’s blaming Oprah. Next she’s going to blame Montel for the Democrats’ resounding victories last month. [Metro]

• The Phillies selected four in MLB’s Rule 5 draft, then immediately traded one of their Rule 5 picks to the Orioles for one of their Rule 5 picks, Alfredo Simon, who originally went to the Giants in the… geeze, in the Michael Tucker deal? Ow, winter baseball meetings make my head hurt. [AP/Camden Courier-Post]

McGreevey Goes On National TV To Talk About Cheating On His Wife

Former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey had his big interview with Oprah yesterday, and despite the secrecy asked by the producers, the Associated Press nabbed the big scoop: McGreevey admitted to having an affair with a man while his wife was in the hospital after the birth of their child.

McGreevey was on Oprah to promote his memoir, The Confession, which is due out on Sept. 17. (Conveniently, the episode of Oprah will air that day. Convergence!)

Here’s where it gets better: The man who McGreevey says he was having an affair with at the time of his wife’s hospitalization? If you said “Golan Cipel,” McGreevey’s alleged Israeli lover who he gave a high government post only to find Cipel couldn’t get his security clearance, then you were right!

No one’s positive on this, but while McGreevey was cheating on his wife while she was in the hospital, he also held up five banks, killed 220 puppies and ate a small child.

Former N.J. Gov. Tells Oprah of Affair [Metro]

Puppy Morning: A puppy’s book review of ‘A Million Little Pieces’

Book Review: A Million Little Pieces
By Brandy, age 1

Bark! Hi, my name is Brandy. I’m a doggy, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. I like sticks and plastic bottles. I dislike people who don’t pet me and computer screen savers (especially the flying windows). I also like to read, as shown in this photo.

Sometime earlier this year, I read the James Frey memoir A Million Little Pieces. I thought it was well-written, but I was a little surprised by the big furor over it. Arf!

You see, the reason why I was surprised by the whole brouhaha is, well, how could someone be so stupid to actually believe the book was 100 percent true? Even though I’m a puppy, I knew after the first page that this book had lots of made up woof in it, the author’s insistence that he didn’t make anything up notwithstanding.

In the first paragraph, James Frey is sitting on an airplane with a hole in his cheek, a broken nose and eyes nearly swollen shut. He’s covered in spit, snot, peepee, vomit and blood. Ew! And although he writes that a doctor brought him on board, well, I didn’t buy it. It was a little too far-fetched for me. And I like to fetch.

Anyway, the book was a fun read, but I took it with a grain of puppy chow from the beginning. Now, it’s made up, and people are complaining endlessly and suing the publisher and Oprah went nuts on her show — after her original plan of being nice to James Frey got bad reviews, of course — and I sort of feel bad for the guy. But, still, there’s just one thing I want to do to Oprah and Frey and the people suing and all the people who accepted the book as 100 percent true: Grr.

A Million Little Pieces [Amazon]