Quickies: Short bus

• The reason local boy Johnny Weir finished fifth in the Olympics? They changed the bus schedule. Or maybe he was secretly worried about how he was looking in front of his new pal Vai Sikahema. [ESPN.com]

• Geeze. I can’t believe that Jessica Pressler quoted a girl saying that Jennifer Aniston “was sooo nice.” That’s made me angrier than anything else she’s written in the Times! [New York Times]

• In Bucks County, they’re doing what’s important, i.e. passing resolutions saying a certain video game sucks. Oh, yeah, and they want to ban it from being sold in America. Sigh. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Don’t bother playing Powerball, because I have it on good authority that I already bought the winning $365M ticket. [AP/Yahoo!]

Vai Sikahema shows his Olympic mettle

If you haven’t been watching the Olympics — and judging by the ratings, you haven’t — you might not be aware of Coatesville native Johnny Weir, the prima donna figure skater who’s America’s best hope for a medal.

All you really need to know about Weir is that he’s flamboyant. Got it? And, so, the other day Vai Sikahema — NBC 10 sports anchor and former Philadelphia Eagles returnman (and Gold Gloves boxer) — hung out with Weir for an interview.

The day didn’t go well at first: The PR person only gave them an hour. Weir was a half-hour late. But! He said to Vai, “Honey, I’ve got all day!” — and at that, things apparently got worse for Sikahema: Weir called himself “Princess,” made Vai try on outfits and shopped for “Dolce something-or-other.” An excerpt:

We spent nearly three hours together. He took me to stores that I’m certain no former NFL player had ever been in.

I don’t mean the fashion. I mean the sizes. Most women would kill to have his body. Five-nine and I’d guess 125 pounds. That would make him the same size as my wife.

Actually, Vai, he’s a buck thirty-four, but pretty good guess. Anyway, Enrico over at The 700 Level puts it succinctly: “The article is one of those you have to read it all to get the full effect.” Indeed. Sikahema even has a funny closing line! Sikahema doesn’t say this, but my guess is after hanging with Weir, he went back to his hotel room and did like a million pushups. He’s gotta work on his figure to keep up!

Vai, Weir Shop For Chanel [NBC 10]
Johnny Weir [NBCOlympics.com]
Johnny Weir & Vai Sikahema Go Shopping [The 700 Level]

Let the Olympics officially begin!

Phew. It’s good to know our local journalists covering the Games can still stuff their faces the same way over there.

Phil Sheridan | Found: A cheesesteak in Turin [Inky]

Blogicized: Winter be gone

• Ahh, yes: Let the pseudo-spring temperatures return! It was nice to see you, Old Man Winter, but don’t stick around for too too long. [Philadelphia Weather]

• The Phillies don’t have a front line pitcher this season. Please note: The preceding sentence could have been written pretty much in any year. [Beerleaguer]

• Patrick Murphy, running for Congress in Pennsylvania’s eighth district, once penned a column for a college newspaper. Of course, it was when he was a professor at West Point, so it’s not the typical “Cafeteria food sure does suck!” fare. [Above Average Jane]

• Reasons not to watch figure skating coverage this year: 1. There’s nobody you know. 2. One competitor didn’t put a hit out on another competitor this year. 3. The rule barring female skaters from wearing pants was recently lifted. [Pesky'Apostrophe]

Olympic feats of journalism

The opening paragraph from the Toronto Star in a column by Rosie DiManno about some of the speedskating events:

TURIN,Italy — The most astute observation yesterday — gracious, too — came from the glorious Anni Friesinger, she of the extraordinary bosom, cleavage revealed in such eye-popping fashion with a downward yank on the zipper of her skin-suit whilst bending over at the waist to suck air just beyond the finish line at the speed-skating oval.

Holy Shit. The Olympics are awesome. Why aren’t I covering this?

Klassen bronzed at result [Toronto Star]
Anni Friesinger [NBCOlympics.com]

Birmingham 2016!

Well, just as the Olympics are about to get started, our own fair city has been designated as an official “Olympic partner.” Whoo! Alright! Yay!

Wait, what does that mean?

According to the Inquirer article, being a “community partner” means… uhh… it means that the Olympic committee knows you’re a city in America. Also, this has “no bearing” on the city’s possible Olympic bid.

After seeing a list of other sites that are possibly bidding for the olympics and are also Olympic partners, well, it seems like Philadelphia is the annoying kid who kept whining until they made him an Olympic partner:

Besides Philadelphia, the list of U.S. candidates is likely to include Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Houston and Washington. By the way, Houston became an Olympic community partner last fall, Chicago last month, and San Francisco is about to join the ranks. [...] The community partnership program, which also includes Birmingham, Ala., and central Oklahoma, is a relatively new venture for the USOC.

Ooh, Birmingham or Philadelphia! How will they decide which place to hold the Olympics at? Erhm.

Philadelphia named Olympic ‘partner’ [Inky]
Nov. 10, 2005: A (new) way to lose money? Count me in!