It’s Apparently Legal To Be Offensive

Hey, the city’s Human Rights Commission had been investigating those stupid Family Guy-quoting white power posters, probably made by people who didn’t realize the line from Family Guy was a parody.

Anyway, the HRC did some looking into it and found — in a shocker — speech is apparently legal in this country. Oh, and if you see somebody putting up stupid fliers, you’re apparently not supposed to confront them.

Nick Taliaferro, the Commission’s executive director, says if someone is posting or passing out offensive material, call police if need be, but usually don’t start a confrontation yourself: “But if you just see them on the street, the best thing to do, most times, is to go to an agency that has an organized instruction manner of confronting them and dealing with them and addressing them and then to talk to people who share your concerns and to find ways to positively counter-act what you’re seeing in their literature.”

Yes, call police if need be if you see someone passing out offensive material. How dare someone do something offensive here in America. And after you call the cops, be sure to go to the appropriate agency to report your offense.

HR Commission Says Race-Baiting Flyers Were Legal
Tuesday: Speech Police Investigate Posters
May 12: Family Guy-Quoting Racists!

Hilarious Cops Suspended For Bad Joke

You may remember Scott Schweizer, the lovable narcotics cop alleged to have had a KKK sticker in his locker. Well, now he and the officer who put the sticker on his locker are both back to walking to beat.

Commissioner Charles Ramsey suspended Schweizer and fellow narcotics cop Eric Dial for 20 days without pay and transferred them away from their elite jobs arresting black people for drug crimes. They’re now back to their original districts. Ramsey said they were bad dudes but weren’t racist, and so they get to keep their jobs. He actually even directly skipped a disciplinary hearing and just punished the guys himself they were so offensive and not racist.

Apparently, Dial actually created the “Blue by day, white by night” stickers and put it on Schweizer’s locker. Schweizer just put the two stickers into his locker and left them there, and now for some reason both men are being branded offensive-but-not-racist jokesters! No, really. That’s why they’re being suspended. “It’s my understanding that [Dial] thought that this was a prank, but it was in incredibly poor taste,” Ramsey said. If we start suspending cops for making offensive jokes, I don’t think we will have much of a force left.

The quote of the article once again comes from Rochelle Bilal, head of the Guardian Civic League, which represents the 3,000 black officers on the force. She says the demotion of the two officers “sends a message to the department that all jokes aren’t funny.”

All jokes aren’t funny! The police officers sure have learned a good lesson here. For news on how this new affects the most oppressed of all peoples, the white man, please head to police messageboard Domelights. Do you think white Philly cops change their names (á la the Nation of Islam) because they are so oppressed?

Gov. Rendell Offends Usual Suspects

Blah blah blah Ed Rendell blah blah white people blah blah blah Barack Obama blah blah blah Lynn Swann blah blah blah offensiveness blah blah blah people in Pennsylvania are racist:

Gov. Ed Rendell, one of Hillary Rodham Clinton’s most visible supporters, said some white Pennsylvanians are likely to vote against her rival Barack Obama because he is black. “You’ve got conservative whites here, and I think there are some whites who are probably not ready to vote for an African-American candidate,” Rendell told the editorial board of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in remarks that appeared in Tuesday’s paper.

To buttress his point, Rendell cited his 2006 re-election campaign, in which he defeated Republican challenger Lynn Swann, the former Pittsburgh Steelers star, by a margin of more than 60 percent to less than 40 percent. “I believe, looking at the returns in my election, that had Lynn Swann been the identical candidate that he was—well-spoken, charismatic, good-looking—but white instead of black, instead of winning by 22 points, I would have won by 17 or so,” he said. “And that (attitude) exists. But on the other hand, that is counterbalanced by Obama’s ability to bring new voters into the electoral pool.”

Blah blah blah he should resign blah blah blah KKK members would vote for Obama blah blah blah axes to grind because he supports Hillary blah blah blah Rendell says stupid things all the time blah blah blah too bad Lynn Swann wasn’t white or else I wouldn’t have had to buy my son a car blah blah blah liberals are racist blah blah blah comparing Obama to Lynn Swann is racist blah blah blah the Clintons are racist blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Okay, I got that post out of the way. If you need me, I’ll be out voting for a minority. Any one will do, really.

Oh, and is anyone surprised Rendell is posing with a white King Tut?

Another Day That Will Live In Infamy

From Tsunami Tuesday to making fun of Ron Paul’s impending death, people just love to get offended on the Internet.

And now, Metro’s daily caption contest has offended people due to a tragedy I’ve never heard of from 50 years ago:

In England, the opposing teams sometimes boo just to cause drama and blah blah blah. I would love to hear some American fans boo a moment of silence; the sports media would cover it like the Black Plague. Oh, sorry, did I offend anyone there?

Thanks to Chrissy for the tip; PWD’s regular commenter has a letter in today’s Metro making fun of some other letter writer. Whoa, meta. (Are you a commenter who’s done something special? Let me know!)

She also requested the following: “If you’re going to write about it you need to end it about how Man City are a superior team anyway.” I take it these Man City chaps are playing Manchester United this weekend? Oh, it shall be such an offensive day of world football you’ll think the Baker Bowl stands just collapsed.

Tsunami In A Teapot

Hey, everybody, did you hear the news? We’re not allowed to use the term “Tsunami Tuesday” to describe next Tuesday’s primaries. Yes, apparently using disaster terms to describe non-disaster events is now offensive, and the NHL’s Carolina Hurricanes are going to have to change their name any day now.

Please note: I don’t want to encourage anyone to use the term “Tsunami Tuesday.” — I doubt many people will — because it’s ugly-sounding. “Super Duper Tuesday” is a highly superior term, if only because it reminds me of Hersheypark. (Did you know: Hersheypark’s new rollercoaster Fahrenheit “was the first ever roller coaster to gather hype through a viral marketing campaign.” Put that in a record book!)

The author of the blog post is Sree “Tsunami” Sreenivasan, who is actually a professor at Columbia. He says we shouldn’t be upset about previous “Tsunami Tuesday” references, but says we should stop. (He’s also tremendously not over the top about his request, to his credit.) And, really, I have to agree with him on this point.

A friend at lunch pointed out we’d never say, “Rudy’s campaign fell like the twin towers.”

More »

Halloween Costumes Create December Uproar

All hail the latest collective outrage: Penn State students dressed up like Virginia Tech students for Halloween. That’s not so bad. Well, uh, they were Virginia Tech shooting victims.

Surprisingly, this story wasn’t broken by Jenice Armstrong. No, but it’s been all over the news since the photos were posted to Facebook.com; a local TV station in Roanoke, Va., did a story on the costumes and wouldn’t show them because they’re too offensive. What?

It’s not just adults who are getting in on the angry action. No, uproar over Halloween costumes can come form anywhere.

As a response to the controversy, senior Jay Chamberlin created a new online group through Facebook — “Penn State STILL Supports Virginia Tech.” By Friday evening, it had attracted more than 250 members. Chamberlin, a former president of the University Park Undergraduate Association, said a Virginia Tech alumnus suggested Penn State students distance themselves from the costume antics.

More »

‘Inquirer’ Runs Shitty Comic, Offends People

The following comic ran in yesterday’s Inquirer, and it was offensive, God dammit! You see, because that kid committed suicide had problems, and… this… comic written weeks ago and published by a syndicate… should… have been pulled?

Fuck, I don’t know. But apparently a lot of people complained, because on the website yesterday this editor’s note came up:

Today [yesterday —ed.], the nationally syndicated comic F Minus detailed the saga of a school counselor asking a young man about his failing grades. Many readers noticed the similarity between this comic strip and the tragic news of the day involving a young man taking his own life in despair over his grades. The artists who create The Inquirer’s comic strips work days, sometimes weeks, in advance of publication. Inquirer editors often assemble and review this work in advance as well. Our editors did not know in advance about this coincidence in timing, and we regret the perception that we were insensitive to the tragedy at Springfield Township High School.

Yeah. You know what the Inquirer should be apologizing for? Publishing a strip that unfunny. That panel is less funny than Beetle Bailey. Beetle Fucking Bailey, okay? It’s in Hagar the Horrible territory. So apologize for running shit strips like that instead of things I might actually want to read.

Actually, I don’t get why this cartoon is more offensive than that one the strips the Inquirer ran last last month. It, too, was published by a syndicate weeks/months ahead of time, and accidentally commented on a local issue.

More »