Hilarious Asleep Employees To Kill Us All

New York’sCBS 2 — or as it calls itself “CBS 2 HD” — reports a little funny anecdote from the nuclear power plant in York County: The guards are asleep on the job! Ha ha!

Reporter Scott Weinberger attempts to scare us all by letting us know that employees at the Peach Bottom Nuclear Plant — pretty far west of Philadelphia, but close in terms of “nuclear fallout” — are asleep on the job and terrorists could just waltz in and presumably… hell, I dunno. Aren’t there locks on the doors?

The guy at the Nuclear Regulatory Commission said, “Clearly we’re concerned about what we saw,” but as you know, we’re only concerned with Lite Brites promoting Cartoon Network movies and how many more Guantanamo Bays the next president will build. But if television has taught me anything, all that goes on in a nuclear power plant is donut eating by Lenny and Carl and if there’s a meltdown Homer will manage to save us all anyway. Phew.

Exclusive: Nuclear Plant Guards Asleep On The Job [WCBS-TV]

Leftovers: Beerleaguer, International Megastar

• Congratulations to Jason Weitzel, who’s featured in Metro today — talking about his Beerleaguer blog — and about ‘Phlogs’ (sigh) in general. And his modeling headshot was way better than a photo of a fat guy in a Love Park t-shirt, which was a photo of some local blogger a few weeks back. [Metro]

• Hey, the Phillies won, too! [AP/Yahoo!]

• The best part of this anti-Barnes Tower website is not the design, not the fact that words like GHASTLY MONSTROSITY are used (yes, in all caps and bold) but the fact that something actually topped StopWoodhavenRoad.com in terms of overstatement and poor design. [Fight The Tower]

• Phillyist jumps in on the photos of doggies action. But of course. [Phillyist]

• The biggest question half the city is asking about the mail carrier who dealt drugs while on his route: Damn, why don’t I live on his route? [Metro]

• Yesterday, President Bush pledged support for nuclear power. Or, of course, as he calls it, nucular power. Ba-dum-pum. [Bucks County Courier Times]