Won’t Someone Think Of The Children?

The proposed Scores strip club in Northern Liberties might not be dead yet. Dan Gross reports today:

Scores is battling on. The strip-club chain has filed an appeal in Common Pleas Court to the Zoning Board of Adjustment’s May decision to block the club from opening a local outlet at 450 N. 6th St. on the site of what had been the Bash and Suite 450 nightclubs. The club has the right zoning, but needs a special use certificate to become an adult cabaret.

In our mind, it’s quite simple. Strip clubs make money. Lots of money. Money that gets taxed by the city. Money that could go toward schools. Imagine, the more couch dances sold, the more kids who may actually learn to read.

Yep, just think. Every time you see Amber’s DDs little Tommy’s social studies textbook at his South Philly grade school just gets better and better. Stripping is learning.

Scores strip club keeps up fight [Daily News, third item]

A Craigslist Hallmark Hipster Moment

I saw this post about hipsters on Craigslist in the morning and decided it started off okay, but then got silly by the end. In a way, it was like one of my own jokes. And I can’t show anyone that they’re not that hard to write. So I decided against linking it.

But then I got a bunch of people emailing it to me. No, really. More email than I’ve gotten on any other random topic people emailed me about. And that means it has to be linked, if only because of

An excerpt:

Between the women’s jeans they were wearing, and the foul stentch of body oder and insense wafting from the window, I knew these were not your everyday poser hipsters. They were super hipsters! They must be Hipster Leaders (H.L.) I thought! How exciting! I’d heard of the hipster leaders but knew they only surfaced for very special reasons - like blow-out cigarette sales or that one day a year you’re allowed to put out couches and big items on the curb for the trash. While pondering what could possibly have brought out the infamous H.L.s, I heard a shrill and piercing scream come from further down second street.

Jesus, I thought! What was that? A feral cat? Did a litle girl get hit by a bus? Concerned, I rushed that way and then I saw them! What the hell?! A group of skinny young girls was walking down the middle of Second St. and the leader was screaming at the top of her lungs. Wait, wait a minute. Those aren’t girls, they’re fully-grown hipsters wearing womens’ clothing. At that minute, a group of at least 25 hipsters poured out of the Standard Tap.

The two hipster gangs met at 2nd and Poplar and faced off. I heard whispers. It seems that the Fishtown Hipsters were sick of taking second billing to the N. Libs Hipsters and were making a stand. In a loud yet odly high-pitched voice, the leader of the Fishtown Hipsters said, “Today brothers we fight for Fishtown and for Johnny Brenda’s. I’m wearing size zero petite jeans and I’ve never in my life showered more than once a month! This proves we are the most EMO hipsters alive!!!!!”

And it goes on like that. The rest of it’s over at CL. Have fun!

Disclaimer: I had a hand in the hipster issue of PW. I don’t know how that reflects on this post.

Well it happened again - more hipster violence [CL Philly]

Blogicized: Weather, weather everywhere

• Phillies centerfielder Jason Michaels appears in court — for punching a cop back in July — and gets Accelerated Rehabilitative Disposition, which avoids a trial. He’ll be back on Jan. 20 for his sentencing, which’ll probably be community service and anger management classes. Pretty normal stuff, but expect to hear a lot of “if he wasn’t a baseball player” teeth-grinding. [The 700 Level]

• MyDD scores an interview with Michael Schiavo (remember him?) about his new group called TerriPAC (uhh…) and Justice Sunday — a conservative movement against “activist” judges or some other trumped-up nonsense — which is in Philadelphia on January 8. Really, you just can’t stop me from attending that thing. Whoo. It’ll be the party of the year. [MyDD]

• A new gourmet food market asks: What do you want from us? Sadly, I doubt they’ll be able to accomplish my “fewer annoying customers” demand. [Northern Liberties]

• And, finally, the low down on what we can expect tonight in terms of snow. (Hint: Not much! But the TV stations will go nuts anyway.) [Philadelphia Weather]