High Gas Prices? Blame NASCAR.

There’s an excellent letter to the editor in the current edition of the Northeast Times, about high gas prices. The letter blames several people and/or groups for the high price of gas, but most notable are these two:

The second is a group of people, who many probably do not even think about: Race car drivers like NASCAR. They use the same gas we do. They have to put gas in the trucks that transport the race cars. If NASCAR did not exist, there would automatically be less demand for gas, and therefore more of a supply. And let’s not forget the fans that expend gas traveling to these events.

The third group consists of store owners. If we lived in a perfect world, we could go to one place and purchase everything that we needed, from groceries to clothes to auto parts, etc. But we do not live in a perfect world and businesses are shuffled all across neighborhoods, towns and cities. In reality, we cannot fault store owners, though. They have to purchase properties where they can.

And what about NASCAR drivers who drive to the stores? Those greedy shop owners, not selling every product imaginable, and instead only having specialty shops that sell “ice cream” or “compact discs” or whatever!

I do like the idea of lowering gas prices by eliminating NASCAR and making every store a Wal-Mart. Don’t they have the same clientele?

Update: Hey, look, NASCAR actually answered this complaint back in 2004 on its official website. Er, well, not really, it just mentioned other ways we Americans waste gas.

5/29 Letters [Northeast Times]

Fun With ‘NE Times’ Letters Page

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the Northeast Times letters page. Let’s take a look.

But one thing that bites at me is that all these fine men in blue were white. How is it that they are always the first to respond?

Last year I visited my old hometown (Philadelphia). I drove by six police patrol cars on the road. Four out of six had the “rap music” on so loud I don’t think they could hear a dispatcher’s call. And the other two were on cell phones with their heads bobbing left to right. Very professional.

Oh, all six were black. I’m not saying I wished the cops that were killed were black, because I am not. But it just seems so strange that all were white.

Thanks, Anthony J. Porta from Sebring, Florida, for your insightful letter. “I’m not saying anything racist, like I wish black cops were killed. I just think all the black officers on the Philadelphia police department are lazy and listen to rap ‘music.’ See what I did there, with the quotes around it, insinuating it’s not any good?”

Why are the white cops the ones to die? [Northeast Times, 4th from bottom]

Oh, Northeast Times, How I Miss You

From an editorial last week:

Who among us is sad that Howard Cain, who police believe shot and killed Sgt. Liczbinski, was himself shot and killed by police shortly after the sergeant was killed? If Cain was guilty of murder, he got what he deserved.

And if he was innocent, oh well, sorry about that.

NE Times Letter Writers Continue To Amaze

Ton of stuff in the Northeast Times last week, which I noticed when I was in the NE for Thanksgiving. For example, this letter about how Bill and Hillary are the anti-Jack Kelly:

There are many pet lovers who write letters to the Northeast Times. I wonder what they think of the Clintons’ bid to get back in the White House?

The Clintons entered the White House with their lovable cat Socks. Then they adopted their dog Buddy when Bill got into his women problems and needed to seem more, I guess, normal.

Presidential candidate Hillary once even wrote a book about the pets, and we were told how Socks loved to roll in the laundry (as if Hillary ever did laundry.)

More »

City To Be Overrun By Non-Elephant Animals

A letter writer in this week’s Northeast Times complains about the lack of elephants at the Philadelphia Zoo:

What kind of a zoo has no elephants? The Philadelphia Zoo, that’s who! Our elephants have been with us forever. Now they are packing their trunks and moving. The worst is they are going to a bigger and better habitat that has more room for them to roam. Do they know something we don’t?

Who’s next?

The high prices for admission and parking are keeping a lot of families away from the zoo. They can no longer afford to spend that amount of money for a day’s outing. The gorilla families were the biggest draw to the zoo, and tragically they were lost in a 1995 fire, due to someone not caring enough to check on a preventable event. It’s sad, but if the situation gets worse, I think all the animals will pack up and leave.

Ask any kid what animals do they want to see at the zoo? They will say monkeys and elephants.

Holy shit! Without elephants, our city will be overrun by lions and tigers and prairie dogs! Aw, but I could probably snag a cutesy red panda or two in that case.

Plus, do you think the animals would have little suitcases when they packed up and left? That’d be so cute!

Northeast Times Letters 5.10 [NET]

Philadelphia To Be One Giant Rave

Yesterday, the Northeast Times endorsed Michael Nutter, certainly furthering Young Philly Politics’ members fears of media cabal forcing all the newspapers in the city to endorse Nutter. (This happened. And, at our last monthly media cabal meeting, I won the breaststroke through the vault of gold doubloons.)

Oh, man! The City Paper endorsed him, too! Mike Nutter fever: CATCH IT! (They also cut out the candidates heads and made a PDF summarizing their stances and such. Bastards! I was going to do that, but make stupid jokes. Eh, their thing seems to be serious — and, I can admit it, good — so I suppose I can still do it as long as mine’s stupid and features Milton Street. The CP’s cover also features Mike Nutter holding a printout of the cover. Whoa, meta.)

The Northeast Times‘ endorsement even warranted a Michael Nutter press release. (And, yes, Nutter’s press release — speaking of things I can admit are good, The Next Mayor’s press release archive — about the paper’s endorsement noted it was the largest weekly paper in Philadelphia and perhaps in all of Pennsylvania. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.)

The endorsement, which did mention Queena Bass and Jesus White, did speak of the other candidates’ strengths. Bob Brady got this ringing endorsement:

U.S. Rep. Bob Brady seems to genuinely care about the chokehold that crime has on Philadelphia’s citizens and streets. Mr. Brady, the beefy and very personable dealmaker, has a knack for bringing people together and mediating labor disputes — he would make a terrific secretary of state or master of ceremonies at the carpenters union’s annual awards banquet.

Ahh, yes. Bob Brady, a candidate who would like to reduce crime, would make a fine M.C. With Brady on the mic and Mix Master Mike on the turntables, this city can be one huge party ’til, like, 5 a.m.

Nutter is the best choice [Northeast Times]
Michael Nutter for Mayor [CP]
New Poll has Nutter Moving [Young Philly Politics]
Archives: Bob Brady
Archives: Michael Nutter

Only The Post Office May Vandalize Mail Boxes

The letter of the week from the Northeast Times:

My 3-year-old son and his cousin were overjoyed at the thought of seeing the R2D2 mailbox that was put on display at Cottman Avenue and Frontenac Street for the Star Wars 30th anniversary. I’m equally happy that there was one placed in the Northeast and that it was spotlighted in the March 29 edition of the Northeast Times. However, I was glad that my sister and I took our children two days after we read where it was going it be, as when we arrived, the vinyl applied to it was already half removed from the back and side of the mailbox!

The following day, the vinyl had been ripped off of the front of the mailbox as well. I was disgusted when I saw this! I guess nothing can be special anymore. If we can’t respect something as simple as a decorated mailbox and let others have some joy seeing it, what does that say about the residents of our city? I guess graffiti would be appropriate for the mailbox. Hopefully, the next time there is something different and unique that is going to be placed in the Northeast, maybe it won’t be put here, since it would only be destroyed. I’m just glad that my son was able to appreciate it before it was completely destroyed. Way to go in ruining something else nice and different in the Northeast.

Alright, look. I know Northeast Philly isn’t the most exciting place in the world, but never, ever, ever, even in my most bored state as a kid did I ever think, “Hey! Let’s go visit the mailbox!”

Sadly, the vandal force is with us [Northeast Times]

Reason #51 To Love Philadelphia: ‘Northeast Times’ Letters Page

It’s been a while since I checked in with the Northeast Times letters page. If you’re unfamiliar with it, there are archives. But it can really just be summed up like this: The Northeast Times letters pages are like Craigslist’s rants and raves, only with less stringent guidelines and better editing.

And, as such, people sometimes use the letters page to thank a good Samaritan, to complain about Section 8 housing, to complain about the state of Mayfair, to complain about Section 8 housing again and, of course, to chastise their neighbors without having to complain to their faces.

Dude, do your duty as a dog owner

This is to the young man that walks his dog (part bulldog, with a dark body white face, you know who you are) down Hellerman Street every day, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening. You allow your dog to defecate on our lawn and our neighbor’s lawns and then walk away without cleaning it up.

Young man, it is the LAW in this city that you must clean up after your dog. You have to pick up, take it with you and put it in a trash can. I am tired of cleaning up after YOUR dog, my sister is tired of cleaning up after YOUR dog, and my mother is tired of cleaning up after YOUR dog. We own a dog and we NEVER go out for a walk without bags in hand. We always clean up after our dog, and I expect you to do the same. So I am asking you politely, please, be a responsible dog owner and clean up after your dog.

I’m asking you politely with a patronizing “young man” and a pointless appeal to authority that wouldn’t convince anyone over the age of 10.

See? Awesome.

Dude, do your duty as a dog owner [Northeast Times]

‘Northeast Times’: Blame Gays For Philly’s Problems

Ohhh, Northeast Times. Really, I always thought the true insanity was buried on the letters pages, not the editorial. Okay, I’ve clowned on it before, surely, but why’d you have to let Fred Phelps write this week’s? The full editorial (emphasis mine):

We all know that the Boy Scouts of America do so much for this country, from helping little old ladies cross the street and collecting food and clothing for poor people to preserving our natural resources and building character in the young men of the nation. They are as American as Mom (and Dad!) and apple pie.

And that is why it is so sad to see Mayor John Street picking a fight with the Boy Scouts of America’s local chapter, the Cradle of Liberty Council, by trying to evict them from their city-owned headquarters in Center City, all because of a legal matter that is essentially a non-issue.

The Boy Scouts of America does not allow known homosexuals to serve in leadership positions; the organization asserts in no uncertain terms that homosexual conduct is inconsistent with the values that it tries to instill in its members. The organization is 100 percent right — ethically, morally and legally.

Set aside, for a moment, the arguments that there is no constitutional right to be gay and that in the beginning, it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. They’re valid points, but they’re not really the issue.

The real issue is that the Boy Scouts of America is a private organization that does not discriminate on the basis of race or religion. According to the U.S. Supreme Court, the BSA has the right to exclude homosexuals from leadership roles. It’s an American right, and it’s the law of the land from the highest court in the land. Mr. Street may not like it, but it is what it is, and he is not above the law.

Mr. Street, who is a Seventh-day Adventist, is making a mountain out of a molehill on the Scout issue, perhaps because he thinks it’s the “politically correct” thing to do. Like everybody else, however, the mayor should remember the part of the Scout oath that calls for Scouts to be “morally straight.” America might just get back on track if we all adhered to that.

The future, after all, is at stake.

Funny, I read this editorial, and now I hate Boy Scouts, the Northeast Times and straight people.

Support the Scouts [Northeast Times]

The End of Franklin Mills?

The story that’s been kicking around on Phillyblog for a while now finally hits the newspapers today, in the Northeast Times no less: Is Franklin Mills for sale? Specifically, is the Mills Corporation going to sell it to a developer who’s looking to turn it into a residential site?

We assume everything on the Internet is fake, even when it doesn’t involve Wikipedia, but the Mills Corp. official Northeast Times writer William Kenney contacted don’t comment on the rumors — “I’ve seen the blogs, and I’m not going to comment on that.” — which can only mean that, well, hey, maybe it is for sale.

This would seem like an odd move, especially since Mills Corp. once touted the Northeast Philadelphia shopping mecca as Pennsylvania’s largest tourist attraction, but the company is in the middle of an upheaval. And, hey, if you can’t build condos (or townhomes) across from a school for kids with run-ins with the law and a giant bus depot, where can you build them?

The main fun in the Times story, though, is its extensive quoting of posts on Phillyblog. For example:

The blogs Douglass was referring to are “topic” discussion threads in the “Northeast Philadelphia” and “Business” sections of the PhillyBlog site. ¶ A “blogger” identified as “robot” started the first major topic on the subject on March 1 under the heading, “franklin mills closing?” ¶ In his post, the author stated that he didn’t believe the rumor, but he was curious to know if anyone else had heard the same thing. Also, he claimed that his wife’s family considered it a done deal.

The “writer” of the Northeast Times (a “newspaper”) story goes on to “say” that, while another “thread” speculating about the “sale” of Mills has been “posted” on Phillyblog, a store in the “Steve & Barry’s chain” recently moved in to the formerly “vacant” anchor spot at the “east” end of the “mall.”

Will this be the end of the ESPN Skatepark, the movie theater John Street frequents and a giant Ben Franklin head in the center of it all? Will the white kids with baggy, low-riding jeans have to go to (gasp) Neshaminy Mall? If there’s a developer interested in the Mills site, wouldn’t it be cheaper (and more sensible) to go after the almost-vacant Knights Road shopping center just down the street? Only time will tell.

Is Franklin Mills Mall on the market? [Northeast Times]
Related editorial: Franklin forever! [Northeast Times]