Alleged Newsstand Thief On Trial

In April 2006, Fatai King decided he wanted some newsstands. So he hired a crane and moved a handful of newsstands all around town; he took them to locations seemingly chosen at random.

King is finally on trial this week, and admits he hired a crane and took the newsstands. He said, though, he totally thought it was okay to do so.

The defense contends that King, who has pleaded not guilty, believes he had permission from the city’s Department of Licenses and Inspections to move them. He claims the newsstands were abandoned.

But the owners say they weren’t abandoned, and a former L&I employee has testified she met with King many times. She described him as “overbearing but not pesty,” and she denies ever giving him permission to move the newsstands.

L&I often makes me so enraged it makes me want to commit some crimes, so I understand that. Things are about to get even better, though, as King takes the stand in his own defense today.

Phila. Man Stands Trial for Stealing Five Newsstands [KYW 1060]
Image by Ella Marie, Creative Commons license

Come Front Of Me: The Muhammad Shaukat Story

Yesterday, the citizens of Philadelphia were introduced to Muhammad Shaukat, the newsstand operator outside the Public Ledger building who, after being told to cover up his porn magazines, put up a sign that read, in part, “I gone a fuck his mother, sister, wife… who complain my newsstand. Come front of me.”

I gone a fuck his mother, sister, wife! Come front of me! (Looks like I have some new catchphrases.)

Last night, Fox 29 Fox 29 chatted with Muhammad over his porn mags and his sign threatening to rape someone.

Read on for some thoughts about our boy Muhammad and his porn. Come front of me, too.

More »

Porn: Okay. Threatening Rape: Not Okay.

Newsstand operator Muhammad Shaukat, like most vendors, sold porn. He sold Playboy and Penthouse and maybe some of those specialty titles, too.

Problem was, he had them displayed front and center. And his newsstand was right in front of the public ledger building, in touristy Independence Mall. Legally, he was probably on solid ground, but, naturally, people complained and L&I told him to tone it down.

Now, a smart businessman would probably realize that if he stood his ground, he could end up in a long legal fight which he couldn’t afford. A smart businessman would probably move the mags to the back of the newsstand, put up one of those barriers where you could only see the titles, etc.

But, well, Shaukat apparently isn’t the smartest businessman in the world:

After inspectors told Shaukat to rein in his wares, DiCicco said, “He posted a sign saying that he would rape and kill anyone who interfered with the operation of his newsstand.”

Shaukat, who said he went into vending because of an eye condition, responded, “I’m not bothering anybody. Everybody sells those magazines.”

His sign said, in part, “I gone a f— his mother, sister, wife or her… who complain my newsstand. Come front of me.”

And now, naturally, City Council is going to pass a bill banning vending around the area where his newsstand was. Whoops.

Sign threat costs vendor his corner [Daily News]

Fatai King, We Salute You

Some sad news to report today: Fatai King, the man who allegedly hired a crane and stole six newsstands in April, has been arrested.

He’s been charged with theft, unlawful taking and receiving stolen property, but his crime still isn’t making much sense to, well, anyone. King had applied for newstands at 42 different locations — and when they weren’t approved by the end of the month, he decided to take matters into his own hands, snatching newsstands and taking them to corners where he applied for licenses.

As you may remember, the rented crane took newsstands from the Northeast to West Philly, and from Center City to the Northeast, making it not only an heroic crime, but a rather inconvenient one, too. Of course, our stance here is fairly clear: This is the best crime we’ve ever heard. People should be lining up to defend him, not Joe Vento.

Cops move on would-be vendor [Daily News]
April 26: Talk About Hot News
Photo from the website of Artie’s Newsstand, which is the only newsstand I know with a website

Talk About Hot News

In what is most certainly be the best crime ever so far this year, on Sunday a man stole six newsstands.

The man, Ofatai King, hired a crane to take six newstands that weren’t his and move them to locations where he had applied for newsstand permits but hadn’t gotten approval.

And it’s not just that: In addition to just stealing newsstands from hard-working people, he didn’t even move them in any way that made sense: A stand from Cottman and Bustleton was moved to 52nd and Chestnut, while a stand from 13th and Market went to Bridge and Pratt.

He actually had hired the crane company to do it to additional newsstands on Monday night, but it was stopped before more stands were moved.

You don’t even need to write any jokes about this. It’s just too confusing. And already funny enough.

Extra! Extra! Stands stolen! [Daily News]