Who was the best mascot of 2008? Was it Youppi, late of the Montreal Expos and now a Canadiens booster? Was it Phanatic knock-off Wally the Green Monster? (No, it most certainly was not.) Or was it noted child sex criminal Grump, the former mascot of the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees (nee Red Barons)?
Oh, wait, no. That was just a silly opening to tell you the Phillie Phanatic is the best mascot of 2008. The Phils won the World Series, the Phanatic annoyed a bunch of fans, etc., etc. Right?
Well, no, but you already knew this since you read the headline. Forbes named Mr. Met the best mascot in sports, once and for all proving that we shouldn’t assign any weight to the rankings put out by Forbes in an attempt to get Internet traffic. Jesus. Mr. Met?! Ranking the sports mascots and putting Mr. Met first is like ranking the Awesome Things About the Universe and putting “the sun will eventually turn into a red giant, killing us all” first.
The Phanatic finished second. Forbes actually claims that there was actual research and science in this report, too:
To see which score best with the public, market research firm the Marketing Arm measured awareness, appeal and likability among sports mascots. Through its Davie Brown Index, the firm gathered data on nearly 100 mascots of professional and major college sports teams, gauging reactions from a cross section of people that demographically represent the U. S. population.
Oh, yes, the Davie Brown Index. Well, maybe it needs to be replaced with the Not So Fucking Stupid Index because the current one put Mr. Met at number one. What, there wasn’t room for this guy?
Okay, so Mr. Met isn’t as bad as Big Shot. But I know the Phillie Phanatic, and you, Mr. Met, are no Phillie Phanatic.
Update: A buddy in my fantasy league adds, “But don’t worry, Mr. Met will choke and the Phanatic will take over his spot.” A good point.
It’s been a while since I’ve written about fellow Class of 2004 Penn graduate Ivanka Trump, what with her rich boyfriend and all. (Why does she need a rich boyfriend? Shouldn’t she allow poor girls to do that?)
But, alas! Ivanka Trump and her boyfriend, NY real estate mogul Jared Kushner, have apparently broken up. New York opines:
But here’s our problem: They. Are. Too. Attractive. To. Break. Up. He is gorgeous, she’s a knockout. They’re both bajillionaires with Ivy League educations who are nine feet tall and thin. And they’re funny and charming, too. IF THEY CAN’T MAKE IT WORK IN THIS CITY, NOBODY CAN.
The good news: I get a lot of Google hits for Ivanka Trump, and I hadn’t written about her in a while. Phew. Naked nude xxx Ron Paul!!
While it seems the Ongoing Saga of Alycia Lane has wrapped up, the New York tabloids are still writing about her. As such I’ve decided to write about her as well!
Lane (at right — not her wax figure in Madame Tussauds) was recently suggested by New York Daily News TV editor Richard Huff as a replacement for some dude who left up in NYC. As such, he got a lot of hate mail for some reason:
“What was your [TV Editor] Richard Huff thinking when he recommended Alycia Lane, the disgraced former Philadelphia reporter, for Chuck Scarborough’s position on Ch. 4 news?,” wrote Tom Mullen, a retired member of the NYPD.
“If this is the best candidate he could come up with, maybe the N.Y. Daily News might rethink Mr. Huff’s position,” Mullen wrote.
Whoo! Oh man, this is the biggest Alycia Lane story since… well, okay, I basically just wanted to post that wax-like Lane photo. Also, there’s no way she doesn’t end up on a new TV show after her six-month penance is over.
Valentine’s Day is coming up, so magazines do dating/love/sex issues and Time Out New York is no exception. The lead story of their “Singles” issue is by Professional Media Person Julia Allison, who Gawker made fun of a bit and somehow this made her popular. (Also, she’s pretty.)
I didn’t read Julia’s article because it seemed long, had three question marks in a row and had lots of jumps. (Readers hate jumps!) But the rebuttal is by former City Paper editor/sex columnist Ashlea Halpern, who calls herself Ashlea[TM]. (As opposed to Julia[TM].)
The gist of Halpern’s column is Julia’s advice which I didn’t read but I am sure is fabulous only works if you’re pretty like Julia Allison. (Halpern is, of course, another attractive person.) There’s a poll to pick who you agree with more; I’ll give the nod to Halpern, who kept her article at a slim couple of paragraphs or at least made it so I couldn’t find the jump buttons. (Plus, I read it!) And, hey, she’s mopping up.
Update: Oh, there’s a behind the scenes phootshoot video: “View all the photos that didn’t quite make the cut, plus a video that tells you all you need to know about the Allison mystique.” My mystique remains mysterious and you won’t get to see that ’til my photoshoot next week.
• Put away those gloves, it’s time for basketball season! The NBA tipped off last night and the 76ers open tonight against the Atlanta Hawks. Be sure and tune in, as it may be the only game they win. The 76ers marketing slogan this year is “It’s a Philly thing,” which is true, because Philly sports teams aren’t usually that good. [Inquirer]
• Congratulations to Doree Shafrir, the ex-PW A&E editor who began her job as associate editor at Gawker today! Doree was one of those people who sat in meetings with me before this blog started when I was just doing non-public test blogging. She gave useful advice — i.e. “What the hell does ‘RISP in close and late’ situations mean?” — that I immediately forgot about and became the puppy photo poster that I am today. Best of luck! [Gawker]
Things are heating up in the 99th Assembly District race in New York state.
Oh, I know, you were wondering, “How could things get any hotter?” Well, they just did, thanks to a little bit of bickering over a certain degree. Your characters in this race are democrat Ken Harper and Republican Greg Ball.
Ball said a note that appears after Harper’s name, stating that the Democrat graduated from the University of Pennsylvania in 1982 with a bachelor’s in English, is false.
“Ken Harper has perpetuated the lie that he graduated from the University of Pennsylvania,” Ball said. “Records clearly show that Ken Harper has never graduated.”
Both a university spokesman and Harper confirmed that fact yesterday. Ron Ozio, director of the school’s media relations, said Harper attended the institution, but that there was no record of him having received a degree.
Harper said he “never represented himself to anybody, even from way back when” that he had a degree from Penn. He said there’s nothing in his campaign literature saying otherwise.
“I went to college for four years and studied English,” Harper, 46, said. “I didn’t get a B.A. I never said I graduated.”
Harper said he was three credits short of graduating — and didn’t finish because he ran out of money. (Wouldn’t you have found time to go back in the past, oh, I dunno, 24 years?)
Anyway, though, Mr. Harper has given me an answer to a riddle I’ve been wondering for a while. What’s worse than graduating from Penn with a B.A. in English? Doing all the work and not getting a B.A. in English.
Among women, there is little Yankees trepidation. The Times/CBS poll found that among those who said they wanted the Yankees to win a Subway Series, 63 percent were women. Maybe the Derek Jeter factor is the reason behind the finding, or perhaps David Wright’s appeal hasn’t had time to ripen. Then again, it may be all about Sal Fasano.
Hey, you leave Sal Fasano alone. The ladies love Sal.
Also noted in the article were a reporter and cameraman for SNY, the Mets network, who had bagels thrown at them before the game, which is pretty effing awesome. (Okay, the tire-slashing after the game wasn’t so much. This is why Citizens Bank Park’s media parking is in fenced off-areas.)
Anyway: Wah wah wah. As we all know, Giants fans are virtual saints in the stands, never cursing, never fighting and certainly never throwing an ice ball that knocks out a San Diego Chargers trainer. (Hey, if you’re allowed to bring up old stuff, so am I. It’s fair play.)
And we all know that the fan punched in the face was not doing anything to provoke it. Of course, even if he was, it’s not okay to punch someone at a football game, especially when they’re wearing a suit and tie, as all Giants fans wear to games. And, of course, Eagles Communications Director Bonnie Grant said no security report had been filed, and nobody from that travel group had contacted the Eagles.
So not only are they Giants fans, they’re stupid Giants fans. Hey, you get punched at the game, you contact the Eagles nonstop until they give you some money to make you shut up!
It’s not all bad, though:
“It’s sad,” [one of the attacked fans] said, “because it takes the whole enjoyment out of going to a game.”
Sweet. He’s not going to go next year. More seats for us.
Editor’s Note: A little anecdotal evidence of my own. The dude in the ramp in front of us the entire game had a shirt on that said “DIE SHOCKEY DIE” on one side and “Kill Manning” on the other. If he didn’t punch anyone the entire game — a girl did slap him — well… let’s just say I am glad I wasn’t near rowdier fans. (Although he was pretty awesome.)
• The dance-off for jobs at the Philly Park casino continues, with the applicants now comparing it to American Idol. This idea’s a little wacky, but I’m all for replacing getting signatures with dancing to “YMCA” as a way to get on the ballot. [Bucks County Courier Times]
• Be sure to check out the New York Post’s top 10 reasons why TO would want to kill himself list! It has all the hilarity of a root canal performed without novocaine by a labrador retriever who’s also urinating on you. [Gawker]
