NYC Anchors Ask Philly PD Questions

Yesterday’s chat with the police brass on Action News‘ website brought out the best in everyone, from essentially ignoring a question about decriminalization of marijuana (thanks for asking, Philly NORML) to the cops subscribing to the broken windows theory (aargh!) to the brass vowing to crack down on people parking on the sidewalk in South Philly (this is going to be a nightmare!) to a deputy commish saying the cops are going to eradicate illegal drugs in Philly (ha!).

A friendly commenter also went through and noticed, um, all the ridiculous fake names that asked questions. Even stranger, all the names were people affiliated with New York City in some way! Let’s reproduce some of his comment here:

• N. Dinkins Middle initial and last name of one of the worst mayors of the City of New York ever.
• Chuck Scarborough Longtime anchorman, WNBC. [The response to his question actually mentions New York.--dmac]
• Tim Minton Reporter, WNBC.
• Jonathan Dienst Reporter, WNBC (broke Fort Dix plot story).
• Peter Mansbridge Anchor of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s flagship television news program The National. [This is my favorite one--dmac.]
• Rosanna Scotto Longtime anchor, Fox 5, also seen on the Today show for cooking segments.
• Donna Dixon Actress who has appeared in such productions as Bosom Buddies. and Spies Like Us.
• James Goldman Award winning screenwriter and playwright (deceased). Also the real name of “Jim Gardner” the worst television anchor in the known universe. [Hey! You leave Jim Gardner alone; he makes fun of Gary Papa's cancer.]
• Sue Simmons Longtime anchor, WNBC. Has co-anchored the 11 p.m. newscast with Chuck Scarborough for over 30 years… recently said the f-word on air.

Ha ha, these New York anchors and Canadians really care about Philadelphia policing. Thanks, guys!

Philadelphia Police Chat @ 6abc.com [6 ABC]
Yesterday: Police Chat on 6 ABC

Gossip Girlfriend

Each week, my girlfriend and I plan to discuss Gossip Girl. No, really. It’s going to be awesome, and posted on Tuesdays from now on.

Three weeks ago, my girlfriend came over to watch the return of Gossip Girl, which she has become taken with: She has been reading the books and has been nice enough to regale me with awesome young adult descriptions like “a publisher of lesser-known beat poets” and a passage about buying weed in Central Park — clearly the only way for a rich kid to get drugs.

I was, of course, immediately taken with the show as well. These girls have more drama in one day of high school than I did in four years. (And I took two AP English classes!) They drink every night (I was straight edge), have tons of sex (I was a loser) and hire people to take their SATs for them (I never had any money). It’s like Degrassi with richer and prettier people! If this doesn’t prove to my girlfriend how awesome American capitalism is — I think she’s some sort of socialist — then we’ll just chalk her up as a lost cause.

And, so, yes, everyone (in New York, but whatever) writes about Gossip Girl online. Why not join the party? I know what you’re thinking: Dan, you kinda do dumb things, what if you do a dumb thing to your girlfriend and she breaks up with you? If you know me that well, you should also know I never plan ahead.

After the jump, a few video clips and some thoughts from the two of us.

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Rendell, Bloomberg To Form Chosen Ticket?

With the Eagles out of the playoffs this year and his weekends free, Ed Rendell will appear this Saturday with Michael Bloomberg in California.

The Associated Press takes this opportunity to let us know this will spark rumors of an independent political ticket for president in 2008, as there is no way a Jewish former mayor of New York City and a Jewish former mayor of Philadelphia — the two most beloved cities in the country, I believe — could possibly lose the presidency. Will it play in Peoria? Where won’t it play in Peoria?

Rendell’s spokesman says the governor is not going to be running for vice president with Bloomberg and says he’s just going to chill with Gov. Terminator and Bloomberg to talk about infrastructure. But that’s much less fun. All hail Vice President Rendell!

The Alycia Lane Files

By now you’ve seen this at 10,000 other places, but I figured I might as well pile on. (Sorry for the delay; I’ve been having problems posting, of course.) Since I’m too lazy to scan in my own copy myself, here are your criminal complaints, in two easy versions.

Philly.com’s front page has your censored version (direct link) while Metro lets the fucks fly.

CBS 3 has finally reported on it: “Alycia categorically denies she made any comment, or that she struck the officer.” Dan Gross says she will be edited out of CBS 3’s holiday special; Lane is, right now, “on vacation” (really) until at least 2008, says Michael Klein. The Philadelphia press is going all out on this story.

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Let’s See How They’re Taking It Up In New York

Ugh. Ads on the back page? I’d rather have a giant bee on top of the Inquirer building.

Suburbs Apparently Better Than We All Thought

We here in Philadelphia are well known for having an inferiority complex compared to New York, Boston, DC (yeah I dunno), etc. I think it’s partially that most residents of this city bash the city out of love, but fair enough.

However: Maybe we’re all being inferior about the wrong places. Maybe both New York and Philly should be jealous of the suburbs. Far-fetched? Hardly. Check out this quote about a boy from the Bronx who makes an annual summer trip to Bucks County.

“He was just so awed by being in the suburbs — walking in the grass with bare feet, just seeing the pleasures and joys in him,” explained Ruth Haines.

This marks the first time the words “awed” and “suburbs” have been so close together in a sentence.

‘Just so awed by being in the suburbs’ [Bucks County Courier Times]

Alycia Lane Fever Moves From Philadelphia Will Do Comments To, Um, New York Post

It looks like the Alycia Lane obsessiveness of Philadelphia Will Do commenter “ALB” does more than annoy fellow readers of this site. No, his (or her) influence extends to, um, the New York Post as well!

In yesterday’s Page Six in the Post, the call for Alycia Lane bikini photos from “ALB” was reiterated. No, really.

Page Six broke the story two months ago of how the foxy, divorced TV reporter for CBS affiliate KYW-TV sent saucy swimsuit snaps to very-married NFL Network anchor Rich Eisen - which got her a stinging rebuke from Eisen’s wife, Suzy Shuster. Since then, fans of Lane have been on a tear trying to find pictures of her in a bikini. One of their forums has been Philadephia Weekly, which has been blitzed with requests. Daniel McQuade, editor of the paper’s Philadelphia Will Do blog, was so deluged, he finally posted a doctored photo featuring Lane’s head taped on a buxom bikini model’s body. “People still want to see her,” McQuade tells us. “I still get hundreds of hits a day from people looking up her name.”

Yes, that’s right: I, Daniel McQuade, got one of those “tells us” declarations instead of simply “said,” therefore letting the public know it was an exclusive interview with me. I’m that much in demand. Anyway, it’s only a matter of time before I move from Page Six commentator — to be honest, I thought I was going to be asked about Mayor Street and his iPhone, I would have had funnier jokes planned had I been thinking about Alycia Lane beforehand — to international superstar, and youse can say I sucked when I was underground, too.

In other news, I hate the Internet.

Panting for Bikini Babe [Page Six]
Archives: Alycia Lane

Mark B. Cohen Still Reading A Lot, Comparatively

Mark B. Cohen might be billing trips to a fancy soirée in New York to the taxpayers, but he has cut back a bit on the book habit. As you may remember, back in 2006 the Inquirer reported he had spent $28,200 in books for the past two years, including AOL for Dummies and The Zen of Gambling.

Well, Cohen’s book bill was just $3,200 last year, only purchasing a mere 63 books, all of which I’m sure he’s read and used to better the legislature.

Of course, Cohen is attempting to do anything he can to stop you from finding out about it.

Cohen spent $100 in January for the latest edition of the Open Government Guide, a detailed look by the Reporters Committee for the Freedom of the Press at the nation’s varied state laws dealing with public access to records.

A month after buying the book, Cohen became the only member of the new Speaker’s Reform Commission - a panel studying how to make Harrisburg more accountable - to vote against a proposal to provide expense records electronically.

If you dare to question Mark Cohen’s free-spending ways, he’ll pretend his free trips to New York and thousands and thousands of dollars of books is somehow good for me, average taxpayer.

The Pennsylvania Society is not much of a party either. There is no dancing, no romantic music and no mood of hilarity. It is considerably more staid than many, many Christmas parties. [...] Once again, the Inquirer has documented that I engage in legislative-related activities not only five days a week, but also on weekends, not only in Philadelphia but in other places where people relevant to the legislative process gather. This is a grasping, overreaching search for scandal where there is none.

Ha ha! Get it? His free tips to New York weren’t all that much fun, so it’s okay that we paid for it. Now where’s my fucking book report on What a Party!: My Life Among Democrats: Presidents, Candidates, Donors, Activists, Alligators and Other Wild Animals by Terry McAuliffe and Steve Kettmann? It was due last week.

3 weekends in N.Y. billed to Pa. taxpayers [Inquirer]
Bookworm turns over new leaf; tab is down to $3,200 [Inquirer]
Mark Cohen…charging vacation to taxpayers [Phillyblog]

Philadelphia Will Do Goes To The Dogs

As you may know, I have a thing for puppies. This extends to dogs as well, and so the Westminster Kennel Club dog show is always a favorite of mine. Cute dogs, Bill Cosby, predictions of doom and so forth.

I wasn’t able to attend Westminster due to laziness issues, but Philadelphia Will Do Bucks County correspondent Christina Palsky was there, and filed the excellent report after the jump.

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Next On Fox: Steve Keeley Damages Thousands Of Dollars Worth Of Camera Equipment

As already noted by everybody ever, whenever it snows outside, our local newspersons decide to go on a rampage, ignoring all rational thought in favor of reporting just now look snow ice sleet freezing rain Wintry Mix™ ohmigod how are we ever going to get to work tomorrow close down the entire city immediately and so forth.

This snow — or, really, any weather — rampage leads to some amusing moments on the local news. And today on Fox 5 in New York, the Good Day New York anchors threw it down to Steve Keeley on Good Day Philadelphia. (If you don’t know who Keeley is, he’s the anchor whose photo makes it look like he’s going to eat your soul.)

I’ll let NYC blog Gothamist explain what happened:

This morning’s Good Day New York on Fox 5 yielded another comedy incident during a live shot from reporter from sister station WTXF Steve Keely. Keely, reporting from somewhere in Philadelphia, turned on a snow blower which hit the cameraman and camera square in the lens. We can only assume that given the cost of camera equipment and the obvious safety issues that this was unintentional. Then again, we don’t know if this is part of his normal shtick down there.

Nope, the only schtick we have down here is dancing mascots.

Television Watching: Some Humor Among the Flakes [Gothamist]
Steve Keeley [MyFox Philly]