New Jersey HS Protected From Imaginary Terror Group

This is a few weeks old, but somebody just sent it to me, so, uh, if you haven’t seen it, it’s new to you!

Back in March, Burlington Township High School in Jersey held a mock Columbine drill, with hostages, police in Kevlar vests and dead students. How fun! And to think, back in the 60s, the boomers simply got to hide under desks for their nuclear obliteration drills!

Let’s take a look at how it went down:

The mock terror attack involved two irate men armed with handguns who invaded the high school through the front door. They pretended to shoot several students in the hallway and then barricaded themselves in the media center with 10 student hostages.

Two Burlington Township police detectives portrayed the gunmen. Investigators described them as members of a right-wing fundamentalist group called the “New Crusaders” who don’t believe in separation of church and state. The mock gunmen went to the school seeking justice because the daughter of one had been expelled for praying before class.

To make the drill more realistic–

Okay, stop, stop. To make the drill more realistic? Really? How could you even make it more realistic then a pair of gunman attacking a school because a girl couldn’t pray before class? I mean, that’s about as real as it gets. Any more realistic, and the students might all have heart attacks because it’s just too close to home.

Either way, it’s good to know Burlington Township High School is ready in case any crusaders attack. Hopefully, school officials will get started on the bubonic plague next.

Hostage drill prepares school for crisis [Bucks County Courier TImes]