Humiliated On The Silver Screen

Somebody’s press release reached the right person! Or, rather, Andre Bennett works at KYW 1060. But, hey, that’s okay! KYW 1060’s John McDevitt has a piece today on the Rock Paper Scissors movie showing at the Philadelphia Film Fest on Saturday.

Frankie13 versus The World, airing as part of the Rocky Balboa Picture Show (cute), follows RPS competitor Bennett (aka Franky Thirteen, aka an all-around cool guy) as he takes on the Philadelphia RPS City League and the RPS World Championships in Toronto.

But, wait, there’s more! Longtime readers may remember when I refereed a RPS match (and Kottke linked it, something I still freak out about) at the 2006 Keystone Classic. I didn’t do all that good of a job, having never even seen a competitive RPS match before being asked to ref.

Whoops! I did a bad job, I was heckled and — whoops! — a film crew was there to capture it all on tape. Yes, not only am I in this documentary, I believe there is a scene of me being humiliated in this 30-minute movie. (I’m not sure if that scene made it in, but I have to imagine it did. The filmmakers, very nice guys originally from Newtown,

So, yes, go see it, laugh at me, et cetera, et cetera. This is also a good time to let you know about the 2008 City League season, which begins a week from tonight at the Khyber. Finally, an excuse other than quizzo to drink on weeknights! It’s been a long offseason.

Pub Team Wins Battle Of Flaming Birds

Last night, Philadelphia Public League champion Communications Tech advanced easily in the state basketball tournament, improving to 28-3 and moving on to the state quarterfinals Friday.

Comm Tech defeated my alma mater, Holy Ghost Prep, by scoring the first eight points of the game and jumping out to a 22-7 lead. The game was the nerdiest one in state tournament history, as it pitted the Phoenix (Comm Tech) against my Firebirds. Not only was this a battle of birds on fire, but it was also a game between the two previous names of Web browser Firefox.

A bunch of teams in the state basketball playoffs have oh so hilarious names, or at least ones that are hilarious when you spent 100 percent of your time online and everything seems funny at some point: Millionaires, Konkrete Kids, “Milton Hershey Spartans” (I assume this school is nicknamed the Hershey Spartans and named after Milton Street). Girard College is nicknamed the Hummers, apparently, and Math, Civics & Science Charter School is nicknamed the Mighty Elephants. There’s also a team simply labeled “Moon Tigers.”

There’s actually apparently a ton of Public League schools still left in the state tournament, proving that Philadelphia can no doubt put a ball through a little circle better than anybody else in this state.

Turtles, Redcoats Delay Casino

It appears nature and the past are banding together to attempt to stop SugarHouse Casino from opening in Fishtown. The Bulletin reports environmental activists want to check if the red-belled turtle lives at the proposed casino site, because that’s a threatened species.

The paper talks to the Casino’s communications director, Leigh Whitaker: “We did an investigation during the turtles’ normal, natural nesting season. Our study found there was no evidence of turtles nesting or living on the site.” Oh. That’s not going to work. Let’s get to the other one, then.

Daniel Rubin reports American history could stop the casino from building on the site, as a bunch of history nerds think there was a British fort there and want to get a chance to excavate the site first. Nerds are always getting in the way.

Rubin, by the way, also reports this: “If a Revolutionary War fort can’t slow the SugarHouse casino, it surely can slow it.” Indeed it can.

Westbrook Play Upsets Nerds Like Me

Alycia Lane wasn’t the only one allegedly delivering a stiff punch to the face over the weekend. Yes, the Eagles had their biggest win of the season yesterday, a 10-6 upset over the Cowboys that kept the team’s meager playoff hopes alive — and therefore probably delays the misery of Philadelphia fans for one more week.

Let’s focus for now on the play Brian Westbrook made with just over two minutes to play, though. Check the video highlights and you’ll see Westbrook cut past two Cowboys defenders, seemingly headed in for a touchdown. On the one yard line, though, he stops and lies down so the Eagles can run out the clock and clinch the victory.

Clearly, it was a smart play. But it was also the semifinals of the fantasy football playoffs for most leagues. Since our friend with the impressive traps is on a bunch of teams in the fantasy playoffs, there are tons of football nerds smarting from the loss of six points — and, possibly, the game — yesterday. Brian Westbrook, you owe a ton of people a drink.

Revenge Of The, Erhm, Dorks

Ahh, yes, but wither the child (me) who goes to school between the high points of this genre, post-Revenge of the Nerds and pre-Rocket Science et al. I got American Pie and (as the article notes) Election, but by then it was my senior year, and those movies weren’t nerd-centric anyway. All I got in high school were a series of horrible movies about teams of losers overcoming all the odds to win it all, occasionally by cheating. Screw you, Little Giants. Don’t even talk to me, Ladybugs.

Theme of nerds popular in movies [Gannett/Courier-Post]

Breaking: Over A Month Before Launch, Nerds Already Forming Line For New Nintendo Product

Yes, today is the official start of pre-ordering for Nintendo’s new Wii console, which goes on sale on Nov. 19. (On a side note, that Wikipedia page for the console is protected, which means people who are extremely loyal to Xbox, Playstation or Nintendo have been getting into edit wars over it. Hilarious. I love people.)

And Phillyist is on the case, snapping this photo of those in line at the Gamestop at around 8:30 this morning:

Awesome. Better get those pre-orders in, boys, before they sell out! (Yes, I know, consoles tend to sell out ridiculously quickly, even in pre-order. That doesn’t mean I can’t make fun of these guys. Plus, if I discourage people, then maybe I can sneak in and get one.)

It’s Time To Pre Your Wii, Philadelphia [Phillyist]

NBC 10 Still Asking The Tough Questions

If you haven’t heard, Dustin “Screech” Diamond is selling t-shirts in order to raise money to avoid a foreclosure on his Wisconsin house. (If you want one of the shirts — they’re ugly, but it’s for a good cause, I guess — you can get them at getdshirts.com.) The AP story led NBC 10 to run this poll:

What, those two kids from last night’s Entourage episode aren’t on the list?

90s TV Star Faces Eviction [AP/NBC 10]
Entourage: Season 3 [Wikipedia]

They’re Mad As Hell, And They’re Not Going To Take It Anymore

If there’s one thing a newspaper that prides itself on not having any opinions can’t do, it’s piss off the nerds.

Late last year, Metro posted an apology for making fun of the Philadelphia science fiction convention. Well, there was big news recently in the comic book world, and Metro attracted the nerds’ ire again.

DC Comics is bringing back Batwoman as a lesbian. But Metro wrote that Batgirl was coming back at a lesbian, a mistake also made in a throwaway joke here. While one could be corrected with a simple comment, the other required a Metro letter to the editor (scan here):

Comic news has glaring mistakes

Regarding “New incarnation of Batgirl: She’s a lesbian” (June 6): It seems every time your paper tries to give the public a bit of comic book news, you make glaring mistakes. For example, Storm and Black Panther getting married was referred to as “the first marriage between two prominent African-American characters” in comics. The problem is, Black Panther isn’t African-American, he’s African. He is the king of the first civilization on the planet, a technologically advanced nation in the heart of Africa called Wakanda, which in facts butts heads with the American government quite frequently.

More recently, your paper published that Batgirl was going to be reinvented as a lesbian. The implications of this change would be tremendous, but it was not Batgirl at all — it was Batwoman, a little-known character who disappeared in the ’70s. I don’t care if it’s only a slight misrepresentation. It’s my paper, and I won’t stand for it.

In conclusion, public: Batwoman is a lesbian, and Black Panther is the king of Wakanda.

June 2: Like A Bat Out Of Northeast Philly
Dec. 14, 2005: Breaking: Nerds even nerdier than once thought

‘Inquirer’ Turns To Underrepresented Nerd Fanbase

In an apparent effort to boost readership of nerds, the Inquirer covered the live video game concert held Saturday night at the Merriam Theater. In all fairness, this looked pretty cool, but for Inky reporter Rob Watson, it was apparently heaven.

The concert features live orchestras performing the music of video games from Pong to Halo, which is fairly nerdy in itself. But, when you write this, you’ve eclipsed even my nerdiness factor:

Thankfully, I wasn’t alone as other fans of these old school games made their voices heard in the audience.

“Tell me that’s not Dragon’s Lair up there,” a gamer asked his friend in front of me. “That game took all of my allowance for years!”

Me too, brethren, me too.

Coming soon: Inquirer special edition ‘Magic: The Gathering’ cards.

Blogicized: ‘In The Itchy & Scratchy CD-ROM, Is There A Way To Get Out Of The Dungeon Without Using The Wizard Key?’

• If you’re into this sort of thing, you can wail on some nerds this weekend since the Wizard World convention is in town. Or, uh, you can go to the convention and see Kevin Smith and Jim Lee. Either one. [Phillyist]

• Yes, Philadelphia sure needs a Philadelphia Journalism Review. Perhaps we can staff it with bloggers. [PressThink]

• It’s unanimous: Nobody in Philadelphia wants Gavin Floyd anymore. Sigh. [Huge Tiny Mistake]

• And, hey, let’s throw some plugs: Johnny Goodtimes at the Planetarium; Philebrity Beach Party in, uh, Northern Liberties.