Puppy Morning: Humans love dogs, but not that way

Even though it’s “Puppy Morning,” some of the dog news still relates to our wonderful commonwealth. Monday, I wrote about the PIMP Act, which seeks to place a ban on same-sex marriages in Pennsylvania. The PIMP Act was defended by Chester County Rep. Arthur D. Hershey, who told the West Chester Daily Local News that “down the road, people will want to marry their dogs and horses to get benefits.”

At the time, I dismissed Hershey’s statement as mere code for “I hate gay people.” And I’m sure it still is. But, to be fair, perhaps Hershey has a point. Yesterday, I saw a story regarding possible dog-and-human relationships:

[Actress Natasha] Lyonne is facing a number of charges, including her alleged threat to sexually molest her former neighbor’s dog during a 2004 altercation. She is also charged with criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing.

To quote WWTDD, where I found this story, “you may remember [Lyonne] from ‘American Pie’ or ‘Blade 3′, but probably not.” Indeed. Anyway, due to her alleged dog-molesting ways, perhaps there is some truth to dog-and-human marriage in the state of Pennsylvania. But, really, I don’t see much of a threat besides one actress.

And, as such, I recommend to Rep. Hershey and his ilk that they change the PIMP Act to not define marriage between a man and a woman, but just that “Natasha Lyonne may not marry a dog in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania.” That should solve all our problems.

Another Warrant for Lyonne’s Arrest [E! Online via Yahoo! News]
Natasha Lyonne is in trouble [WWTDD]
Monday: But what about dog on dog marriage?
Photo by No Fixed Abode