Naked Man On Loose

It sure has been a while we’ve had a ridiculous crime in Bucks County (official motto: “The world’s fattest boot.”). Those things used to come like clockwork. And… oh! Here we go!

Buckingham police are looking for a man in a bizarre assault that occurred Monday shortly before 1 p.m. on New Hope Road. Police said a woman jogging on the road between Route 413 and Holicong Road was attacked from behind by a naked man. Police are investigating the incident as a sexual assault.

The woman said her attacker got her in a bear hug and lifted her upright. He then released her and ran to Holicong Road where he got into a silver sport utility vehicle… The incident sounds similar to one that occurred in Middletown [Levittown -- ed.] last week.

Middletown police said that on Nov. 11 a man wearing only a pair of socks was seen on Red Berry Road. Police said the man was described as a white male with a medium build and balding. He was last seen in a small silver SUV.

Ahh, there we go. Be on the lookout for a balding naked man next time you’re in Buxco! And in case you’re wondering, Red Berry Road is not in the Red Cedar Hill Section of Levittown. Confusing, isn’t it?

Naked man assaults jogger [Bucks County Courier Times]

Ne’er-do-well-hung

Okay, time to admit: I kind of like Howard Stern. When I was little I used to sneakily read my dad’s Stern books and I occasionally listened to him on the radio when I used to drive into work. (I alternated with NPR’s Morning Edition. Yes, this makes no sense.)

Anyway, I didn’t make the transition over to Sirius satellite radio; I’m not hardcore enough of a fan to pay $12 a month to listen to the same show I got for free for all of my life before, but Dan Gross reports today there was talk of CBS 3 sports anchor Beasley Reece last week. (That’s Reece at left.)

Reece is not only a sports anchor, he’s a former football player himself, spending 10 seasons in the NFL in the 70s and 80s. One of his teammates on the New York Giants was Roy Simmons, who came out in 1992. The Stern gang was asking him if there were any players he was attracted to, and, wouldn’t you know, he named Beasley Reece. He also said that Reece had a perfect body and was very well-endowed.

Reece called in the next day to chat with the gang, and I’ll let DG take it from here:

Reece called into Stern’s show Friday because Stern had called him Thursday, but he didn’t seem to know why Stern was calling. Reece said on the show that he was “very uncomfortable,” when the topic of his endowment came up. “I assure you, I’m a normal human being. I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Reece told Stern.

NB to Reece: When someone says you’re well-endowed, don’t tell anyone else otherwise.

Dan Gross | Reece to Stern: I’m normal [DN]
Bio: Beasley Reece [CBS 3]

Blogicized: Naked dude in Rittenhouse!

• I’ll simply quote some of this Livejournal post: “Does anyone know what was up with the naked guy spinning around rittenhouse square this morning? I was walking up Locust street this morning on my way to work and as I reached 18th I saw a naked guy with a large tree branch with a sheet tied to it wedged between his legs.” [Livejournal Philadelphia]

• Of course, you knew that one day one of the people in Jay Bevenour’s weekly cartoon would post about it on her blog. [Mommy Grows Up]

• Congratulations, Phillies fans! We couldn’t even win the “most miserable baseball franchise” award, placing fourth. Ugh, you win one, you lose over 100. It happens. [The 700 Level]

• While we here in Philadelphia have some of the finest hospitals, our ambulances? Not so much fine. Fortunately, if you’re like me, you’re within stumbling distance to about 15 hospitals. Phew. [Politics Philly]

• The Committee of Seventy is looking for people to run for office. Hey, can Milton Street sign up? [Young Philly Politics]