The Best Two Comments On Tom Knox’s Myspace

Fortunately, they’re right on top of each other (click to enlarge).

Tom Knox [Myspace]

Ex-Hickory High Principal Sues Jimmy Chitwood

Looks like Diane Gibbons isn’t the only Pennsylvanian who likes to take out aggressions on kids!

Out in Western Pennsylvania, former high school principal Eric W. Trosch is suing a former student who made a fake Myspace profile about him.

The lawsuit alleges that Myspace profiles created in December 2005 while Trosch was principal of Hickory High School humiliated him, damaged his reputation and impacted his earning capability. Nonetheless, Hickory High fought through the hardship and rallied to win the state basketball championship despite only having six players on the team.

Trosch’s attorney said the profiles “went far and beyond what you would see on a bathroom wall in a school.” He continued: “Also, the profile was friends only with those fake porn profiles. Trosch is way more popular than that.”

Principal Sues Former Students Over Fake MySpace Page [6 ABC]

Knox Unveils Shrewdest Campaign Strategy Yet

From Tom Knox’s Myspace page:

Yep, right next to the <h1> DEMOCRAT FOR CHANGE </h1>, there’s Tom Knox, holding baby tigers of some sort! The ball’s in your court, fellas. I mean, saying you were from the projects or were shot or would do a good job as mayor (oh, yeah, that too) is nice, but baby tigers of some sort? That’s pretty tough to beat. Somebody might need to bring out a baby panda.

Tom Knox [Myspace]

Log In To Myspace, Get Arrested

Yesterday, I wrote about Darren Bates, the fugitive who was caught in the Philadelphia Free Library because of his Myspace page, and today the Inquirer picks up the story and adds in a few new juicy details.

• He was wearing a Donovan McNabb jersey when he was caught.
• This quote, from John Patrignani, a U.S. Marshal: “He was busy on the computer and we were able to walk right up to him from several directions without him seeing us. He was very much surprised.”
• Nobody knows or would say how Connecticut authorities originally realized Bates was going to the Free Library every day to check his Myspace.
• He went by the name Anthony Watson on the Myspace. No, I haven’t been able to find him.
• Wait, nobody will say how they got his information?

So, yeah. If you’re wondering, the good news is that a fugitive wanted for beating an old woman and sexual assault has been caught. The bad news is that apparently either (a) Myspace will hand over information before anyone even asks or (b) the government can spy on you any time you want. Wait, they could both be true.

Fugitive caught updating MySpace [Inquirer]
Yesterday: Online Now!: Fugitive From Georgia

Online Now!: Fugitive From Georgia

Last Thursday, local authorities arrested a man who escaped from a Georgia jail over the summer in Philadelphia.

How did cops nab him at the Free Library, you ask? Well, they found out that Darren Bates routinely logged into his Myspace account at the Phila. Library’s main branch.

No word as to whether Bates was sending out porn spam or just chatting with friends, but he’s currently waiting extradition to Georgia, where he escaped from jail while awaiting charges on auto theft. He’s also wanted for sexual assault in Massachusetts, and for stupidity in Pennsylvania for routinely logging into his Myspace account while on the run.

They’re right, the Internet is an addiction.

Fugitive Caught In Philly After Checking MySpace [AP/CBS 3]

Feel Free To Hook Up With Your Best Friend In Front Of A Bunch Of Digital Cameras, Ladies!

The Daily Pennsylvanian reported yesterday on an alum’s service that will let you know where your scandalous photos are online and attempt to get them taken down, if you pay an extra fee.

ReputationDefender.com was founded by 2004 Penn alum Ross Chanin and “compiles monthly reports detailing the clients’ presence in blogs, social networks like MySpace.com and Facebook.com, online news sources and photo- or video-sharing sites like Flickr.com and YouTube.com.” It costs $10 a month, and another $30 for ReputationDefender.com to attempt to get the offending material removed. (Which, in the case of a legit news article, is impossible.)

So why would people use this service instead of just not taking scandalous pictures? Chanin explains:

“What were dealing with here is ‘micro celebrity,” Chanin said.

Yeah. Micro celebrities can never get those damn citizen paparazzi off their backs.

Scandalous pics online? No worries, service says [Daily Pennsylvanian]
Nov. 30, 2005: Phantastic Photo!

Leftovers: Hey There, Blimpy Boy

• The feds arrested 115 illegal immigrants over the past five days in Pennsylvania and Delaware. Holy Geno’s, Batman! [AP/6 ABC]

• The blimp flight that was the dream of seniors went off yesterday, although high winds grounded at least one person’s turn on the blimp. (They went one at a time, it seems.) Alas. [Doylestown Intelligencer]

• NB to vandals: The police have access to your Myspace bragging, too. [Inquirer]

• The space shuttle Atlantis is cleared for landing! Chris Ferguson can come back to Earth and prep for a parade down Woodhaven Road. [AP/Phillyburbs.com]

Yr Webpage’s A Sucker

One of the worst things about Myspace, inexplicably the most popular site on the Internet, is the ridiculous browser-slowing code people put into their profiles. (Well, okay, that and how addictive it is. And how there’s currently a front page feature on Ari from Entourage telling us what he thinks about Hurricane Katrina.)

But those profiles with glitter text and backgrounds that make the regular text impossible to read and 400 slideshows that frequently crash your Firefox are by far the worst thing on there.

So, uh, thanks, 6 ABC, for this in-depth report:

If you have a profile on Myspace.com, you’re competing with about 106-million other people for face-time.

To help you make your site stand out, we asked for help from local tech expert Adrienne Bartlett of Target-X.

You should start with a quick Google search. You’ll find animated graphics on Glitter-Graphics.com Just copy the computer code, go to your profile and enter the information in your Edit Profile section.

Try making your profile as interactive as possible. Some websites will let you customize your own quizzes and surveys and post them online for your friends.

Check out Testriffic.com to create a quiz and post an interactive scoreboard.

Try Myspace-games.com for puzzles and games.

And browse through Welovewidgets.com. It will let you display your daily horoscope, and allow visitors to your site see if they’re compatible with you.

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh…

Jazz Up Your Webpage [6 ABC]

Love Park Hits Myspace, Turns Gender Stereotypes On Head

Male, eh? And you always thought the lovey-dovey ones were female.

Love Park [Myspace]

Phillies Draft (Surprise!) A Cy Young Winner’s Relative

Now that athletes are scouted from the time they’ll about eight, it’s hard to remember sometimes that they’re kids. (In my day, athletes didn’t practice, didn’t work hard and were still better than you whippersnappers! And sodas were a nickel! Now get off my lawn!) But, yeah, they’re kids, and in some sports — baseball, hockey, basketball — they’re still kids when they’re drafted.

Such is the case with new Phillies pitcher Kyle Drabek, who the local nine got in a steal with the 18th pick of today’s major league baseball draft.

Let’s note that, yes, Drabek is the son of former major league pitcher Doug Drabek, the 1990 Cy Young Award winner. This is the latest in a long line of “relatives of good players,” as the Phillies also had Vince Dimaggio, Mike Maddux, Jeremy Giambi, etc.

The younger Drabek seems like a great pitcher — he’s 5′11, throws a 97 mph fastball and an unhittable curve — but according to the scouting report, “teams are backing away from Drabek. He’s high-strung on the field, and there are off-field issues as well.”

Off-the-field issues or not, he’s still a kid, and what does that mean? Okay, maybe we should give him a chance to grow up. But know what else that means? He has a Myspace page!

Yes, the newest Phillie has a wonderous myspace page, with a photo of himself pitching as the background and the song “Let’s Get Fucked Up” as his page music. (The photo of Drabek with a Samurai sword is also from said page.) He also considers himself sexy, thinks his stomach is the best part of his body and says that “how you ‘do it’” is what makes him sexy. Unfortunately, ladies, all of this sexiness is currently in a relationship. Oh, and also, K is for Keen, Y is for Yummy…

The Phillies No. 1 pick has also taken about a billion “What [x] are you?” quizzes, and you’ll be happy to know that his band is Good Charlotte and his Care Bear is Champ Bear. Care Bears we can deal with, Kyle, but, man, Good Charlotte? Even when I was in high school my taste was a little better than that. (Dashboard Confessional, man. Okay, only a little better.)

Anyway, feel free to continue enjoying the musical delights of Sum 41, Blink 182 and other numbered bands (Eiffel 65?) as long as you make it to the big leagues and pitch well. Or maybe run into a wall or something. Welcome to Philadelphia!

Kyle [Myspace]
Scouting HS pitcher Kyle Drabek [ESPN.com/Baseball America]