Leftovers: ‘Bulletin’ Declares War On Priest Jokes

• In today’s Evening Bulletin, the following letter from publisher Tom Rice appears:

Last Thursday, this newspaper ran an editorial cartoon which was deeply offensive to Catholics and especially Catholic clergy and their supporters. This cartoon ran without my knowledge or consent. Nevertheless, as publisher of The Evening Bulletin, I accept ultimate responsibility for this offense to the community and offer my sincere apology. I am ashamed that this cartoon so offended good people I respect and admire. I will do everything necessary to ensure that nothing like this occurs again.”

What was the offending cartoon? This syndicated one from the Mike Shelton of the Orange County Register (Santa Ana, Calif.) that was published there on Oct. 4. You can read it by clicking this link or the thumbnail above. It’s a priest-boy molestation joke (really fresh, Mike) that is offensive because no priests have ever molested any boys.

• Dan Gross reports that local band Capitol Risk will be filming a video at The M Room for a contest sponsored by Ellio’s Pizza. In the old music world, you had to tour for a while, maybe self-release an album or two and hope that somehow, your music found its way into the right hands and was good enough to get you a deal. Now, you just need to win a contest sponsored by a company that makes toaster oven pizza. [Daily News, last item]

• A review of all the greatest hits compilations coming out for Christmas. You’ll be happy to know that Roxette, T.A.T.U., Staind P.O.D. and Jamiroquai are releasing their “hits” this Christmas. [Your Band Sucks]

• In light of Tower’s closing, Jonathan Takiff writes about the future of the music industry, with a bonus photo of one of those guys holding a sign informing you of the store’s impending closure. [Daily News]

BYO Bartender

Badminton Stamps points us to the tour diary of Early Man, who apparently didn’t have the best last call at North Star:

Philly: Why did I get yelled at by the entire staff of the Northstar bar at the end of the night? Because when the place was closing and all the bartenders left I took it upon myself to tend bar. Look man, if all you have to do is pull a giant unattended lever that says ‘Stella Artois’ on it to keep the party alive for you and 5 of your friends consider it done.

I do not want to know what Early Man does at the hospital.

Rage, Rage Against The Closing Of The Bar! [Badminton Stamps]

I Liked Him When He Was Underground

Just wait ’til you hear his cover of Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie.”

New CD Highlights Music of Ben Franklin [KYW 1060]

Down The Shore: Wildwood Finally Hits 1995

Headline in last week’s Press of Atlantic City shore guide:

Don’t laugh; this actually makes sense. Wildwood just stopped playing “Rhythm is a Dancer” last summer. Getting to Live was a logical next step.

Live brings new era of uplifting rock to Wildwood [Press of AC]

Leftovers: Medicine… man?

• This is stupid, even for this site, but it’s making me giggle, so you have to suffer, too. From the Scranton Times-Tribune: “Matthew A. Quinn, a 1999 Scranton Preparatory School graduate, received his juris doctorate degree from the University of Pennsylvania School of Law and a certificate of study in business and public policy from the Wharton School at commencement ceremonies in Philadelphia on May 15. ¶ Dr. Quinn received a bachelor of arts degree with distinction in political science from Pennsylvania State University, where he was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa.” Tee hee. [The Times-Tribune]

• Every day, Craigslist makes us feel better and worse about humanity, all in one instant. It’s like Las Vegas! For example, this post from Missed Connections: “I was walking down girard at 3am trying to get home when these three black guys drove by in an impala (the new lame ones) and started sexually harrassing to me. One of them tryed to grabe me and I ran but then all three got out and grabed me, ripping my shirt vehemently. ¶ Then this little indie rock guy boy came out of nowhere. snaps were exchanged and he challenged them to a rap battel-which he won! (his flow was off but his rhymes were fresh and those black guys couldn’t rap at all which was uncanny because I thought all black guys could drop mad lyrics on command).” [Craigslist]

• Since we’re just quoting, quoting, quoting, let’s continue. Australia is now using Barry Manilow music to try to chase away car enthusiasts. The deputy mayor says: “We have tried to reduce the sound and we are reviewing the songs. I don’t mind Marry Manilow, but I’m more of an ABBA and Celine Dion fan.” Every word of that quote is kind of ridiculously awesome. [AP/CNN.com]

• Dan Gross reports today that Robert Esche doesn’t want Mexicans in South Philly, either. (Well, pretty much.) Are there any athletes in this town who aren’t tremendous assholes? [Daily News]

• Our violence level in Philly hit a new low today, as three people were killed in 21 minutes. [Inquirer]

• We’re up to 97, people! Go, go, go! [AccuWeather]

Blogicized: Snakes On A Video

• Snakes on a Plane: The Music Video. Amazing. [Badminton Stamps]

• MSNBC lists Top 10 Least Politically Correct Movies Ever, fails to note Birth of a Nation (or, for that matter, any porn ever). Then again, it was probably done by a 13-year-old intern. (Note: Previous inaccurate line taken out.) [A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago]

• Rick Santorum is helping the mayor of Hazelton, the town that just declared war on illegal immigrants? What a shocker! [All Spin Zone]

This Makes Us Want To Vote For Pedro

I tried to cut this down to the few seconds that best explains this segment on 10! yesterday, but I really couldn’t. So here’s a five-minute clip of Efren Ramirez (Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite) DJing for the crowd, consisting mainly of old white women.

If you don’t have the time, just let it load and scroll to the end to catch Bill Henley raising the roof.

Update, 1:04 p.m.: Oh, yeah. Ramirez is in town because he’s introducing Ashlee Simpson at her concert tonight. But of course.

Blogicized: Comcast Puts Hotels On Citizens Bank Park, Wachovia Center

• ‘XPN says we upload, you decide: Is that ubiquitous Chili Peppers song the same as that one-ubiquitous Tom Petty song? [WXPN Blog]

• Could you one day watch Phillies games on DirecTV? Ha. That’s a good one. [Civil Defense]

• Hey, Play, the newest suburban alt-weekly, has launched! And the mag’s top BYOB serves alcohol! [Foobooz]

Leftovers: Welcome, Our New PR Overlord!

• We’re hearing…. that the Brian Tierney/Bruce Toll/etc. bid to buy the Inquirer and Daily News has gone through, and there’s a press conference at the Inquirer Building at 5 p.m. to officially announce the sale. Staff meeting to follow at 6, but you probably need some sort of special badge or ring or “job” to get in to that one. Update: Here’s a press release. [Yahoo!/McClatchy]

• As mentioned earlier, Dubya himself will be here tomorrow, helping out the campaigns of Jim Gerlach and Mike Fitzpatrick. Tickets are a thousand bucks, so, uh, start saving. [AP/Philly.com]

• Philly businesses got a pep talk today; “You, too, can get the Olympics… if you work together.” Philadelphia promptly ended its bid for the 2016 Olympics. [Inquirer]

• Nick Lachey to The Trentonian: Stay away from me! Trentonian to Nick Lachey: “Popfest headliner Nick Lachey snubbed efforts to talk to him yesterday for a pre-concert interview — that’s despite being splashed across the front of The Trentonian’s GO section last Thursday.” Oh my God, the GO section? That jerk! [Trentonian]

Quickies: Special Council Elections?

• Committee of 70 head Zack Stalberg calls for special elections to fill the two empty City Council seats. And, if there are special elections, ward leaders get to pick the candidates. As opposed to in a regular election, where… uhh, well, okay. How about we just pocket the cash and keep council down two people for a little while? [KYW 1060]

• The Jonathan Fell House in Doylestown sold for just under a cool million, with this treat: George Washington slept here once! Well, maybe. Either there, or outside in a tent. Normally, it’d be pretty obvious which one he chose, but this was the original G-Dub. The man had wooden teeth. (Okay, not really.) [Inky]

• Bucks County man really, really hates when someone writes “BUSH” on a stop sign. His letter to a sticker company: “I’ve lived here 65 years, and until the liberal white trash like you folks showed up, no one made the area look like ‘Philthadelphia’ and the other sorry sick areas, [destroying] the ambience and cleanliness with these stickers and graffiti.” Uhh, dude? You live in Langhorne. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• The co-founder of a company says that you could reduce crime if you aborted all black babies, and that company loses its contract with the Phila. School District. Shocker! [Daily News]

• Jonathan Takiff sez: New Pearl Jam record is an A! Pitchfork remains silent, but they gave the band’s 1998 record an 8.5. Who knew? [Daily News]