NRA Exec Lets People Know Where To Murder

Oh, that wacky, wacky NRA! Always saying wacky things like this!

In August, Wayne LaPierre, NRA executive vice president, spoke at a rally in Ames, Iowa, and blamed Philadelphia’s murder rate on lax law enforcement rather than the proliferation of guns. “You want to kill people, go to Philadelphia, where only a third of all murderers will even be arrested,” LaPierre was quoted by the Iowa State Daily.

Wait, I thought that was the fault of Stop Snitchin’! This came at the end of an article discussing how the NRA is against one-gun a month laws and blah blah blah blah. I can’t imagine why someone would need more than one handgun a month, but then again I don’t see how limiting Philadelphia gun shops to selling only one gun a month per person is going to actually solve any problems.

Everyone will just argue over things like this over and over and over and over until everyone in Philadelphia is dead.

NRA chief denounces Phila. antigun effort [Inquirer]

It’s Settled: John Street Truly Does Not Care If You Die Today As Long As ‘National Geographic’ Offshoot Magazines Keep Praising The City

Now that John Street has signed the smoking ban, he can turn his attention to more pressing issues, like water slides and such.

If you’ll remember, Street’s primetime TV address on the city’s escalating homicide rate was basically “take a deep breath and count to 10 before pulling the trigger.” While some others have suggest, oh, hiring more cops, Street balks at the idea:

Street, though, noted that there were 400 or more murders in nine of the 11 years before he took office in 2000. In 2002, the city saw a 17-year low of 288 homicides.

This decade, the city has averaged about 6,800 police officers. The number was about 8,100 in the 1970s when Frank L. Rizzo — a former police commissioner — was mayor. Philadelphia averaged about 390 murders in the 1970s, a number that has been cut to about 329 since 2000.

“Less police, fewer homicides,” Street said, though he did not take into account that the city was more heavily populated 30 years ago.

Oh, okay. Well how about bringing in the National Guard?

The city will not bring in the National Guard or declare a state of emergency, Street said, because that would lead to negative stories in out-of-town newspapers and on cable TV broadcasts, hurting Philadelphia’s image and economy.

God forbid someone in Omaha reads that the National Guard is in Philly. That’s so much worse than, y’know, a story about the escalating murder rate or a story about how our mayor is a fucking jackass.

More cops no cure for homicide rate, says Street [Northeast Times]
Sept. 1: Philly To Wildwood-ify Fairmount Park

Quickies: Murder Was The Case

• Your WTF Crime of The Day: Two Upper Darby teens are charged with hunting down and killing a man who mooned them after they taunted him for trashpicking. Oh, and the one suspect clipped out the story in the paper and saved it. First offense for both suspects, which led to this quote from commish Michael Chitwood Sr.: “It’s a hell of a first offense.” [Daily News]

• Pinch me: Gavin Floyd continues his impressive spring. His spring ERA’s now at 2.08. Could this team really be better than we expect? Remaining “cautiously optimistic” is the best bet for now, I think. [AP/Yahoo!]

• A rare $2,000 bird stolen from a Burlington County, N.J., store has been found safe in — where else? — a Northeast Philly dumpster at Grant and the Boulevard. [CBS 3]

• White House Chief of Staff Andy Card has resigned, which means that we can expect him to be implicated in some sort of drug-and/or-puppy-smuggling scandal any day now. [CNN.com]

Quickies: Everyone loves Myspace

• A woman in Oregon who’s been to Philadelphia once has found some unclaimed money the school district had in Texas. Yes, people in Oregon don’t have much to do. [Inky]

• Hey, if you live in Bucks County and love Myspace, the Courier is looking for you: “Are you obsessed with the Internet phenomenon that is myspace.com? Does your daily routine include time spent scouring the Web site for new Web friends and groups? Are you a parent who worries that his child spends too much time talking and visiting myspace.com? If so, contact reporter Theresa Katalinas.” [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Just an update: The prosecution has rested in the case of a Penn girl accused of murdering a Temple student over a boyfriend. [Daily Pennsylvanian]

• Oh yea, just to be fair, The Evening Bulletin printed one of those Muhammad cartoons that are causing such an uproar. If you want to see these funny-as-Cathy cartoons, there’s a Flickr set of them here.

• Also, I totally would have gone to the Mediabistro non-networking networking party if I knew blueberry heir Anthony DiMeo III was going to be there!

Quickies: Free The Spencer’s Two!

• Hey, remember when the cops raided Spencer’s in Oxford Valley Mall and confiscated posters with marijuana leaves on them? Well now the people who own the stores that sold those posters (and bongs, and lighters, but nothing actually illegal) are facing two years in prison. This fucking country. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• Six Democrats have raised $8.2 million dollars in advance of the 2007 mayoral election. Five mil of that is from one dude’s personal loan to himself, so it’s kind of a skewed figure, just to note. Okay, really a skewed figure. [Inky]

• Okay, this guy got off yesterday after only a half hour of deliberation, but check out this sentence from the Trentonian: “In the taped recordings the ex-chief, in the plaintiff’s opinion, unveiled a Little Red Riding Hood fetish, identified himself as Cupid and revealed his sexual sweet tooth, testimony revealed.” The ex-Hamilton police chief was cleared of sexual harassment charges.

• And the trial of a Penn student who allegedly killed Temple student has begun. Do you even need a joke for this one? [Daily Pennsylvanian]

You don’t say!

I need to be come an expert so I can get paid to say obvious shit like this. Oh, wait, bloggers do the same thing! I love my job!

Killer of 13 is delusional, experts say [Inky]

Quickies: Strippers and murder, what a combo

• Okay, so a weird story got weirder: The suspect in the slaying of an ex-cop — who used to date the suspect’s mom — says that the dead man raped his sister when she was seven. There’s some doubt from the prosecution, but, ew. [Inky]

• Newly-engaged Dan Gross heads to — where else? — the brand new enormous strip club in South Philly, where the 12,000 square foot size makes the fake boobs not the only big thing. [DN]

• You know, when I was 13, I didn’t burn down houses and murder people over a $20 debt, but maybe I was a bit of a prude. [Inky]

• Great line in a Bucks County Courier Times column: “Parents who do beer bongs with their kids are criminals, but they have one thing going for them the rest of us don’t. Their children can’t call them hypocrites.” Touche, parents who let their kids drink in the basement! [BCCT]

Blogicized: Dream a little dream

• You know you spend too much time in the city when you start having dreams about SEPTA. [The Trouble with Spikol]

• In a non-dream situation, here’s a story about being stuck in the bathroom when the doorknob fell off. This happened to me once. MacGyver-like, however, I managed to jimmy the lock open with a Q-tip. No, really. [Starting a Landslide in My Ego]

• When two people in, say, a marriage both work they earn, on average, twice what one person earns! Who knew? CJR investigates. [Slacktivist]

• And, finally, here’s some commentary on the Philadelphia murder rate, though this is a novel of a piece, so be sure to grab a Snickers or something beforehand. [Classical Values]

Quickies: Apocalypse Philadelphia, Now

• Stop the presses! Notorious B.I.G. (or the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, or The Blob, or whatever joke you want to make) is wanted for a crime in Philadelphia (left)! Although the police sketch is a bit just like a circle with eyes drawn on, how many 350-pound men with “buff” on their arm could there be? Shouldn’t be too hard to catch. [Sketch scanned in from DN]

• Once the best in the NHL, the Flyers lose their third straight. Even worse, star (and dreamboat) Peter Forsberg goes down with a groin injury. This game was played right by the xylene accident. Coincidence? I think not. [Inky]

• The city yesterday was overrun by Ben Franklins. Simply overrun! [Inky]

• An ex-Philadelphia cop is slain by his ex-lover’s son, who also happens to be the son of a Philadelphia police officer assigned to the mayor’s security detail. And by all accounts the dude was a God-fearing, nice dude. Yikes. [DN]

• And, in the most nefarious Apocalypse Philadelphia news yet: Southampton Days chairman seeks answers! Everybody run! [Bucks County Courier Times]

Quickies: Fire, vodka, burn

• A Montgomery County woman has been arrested for lighting her friend on fire after the two were drinking with vodka and nail polish remover. See, this is why I don’t have any friends over for drinks. Well, ok, it’s also why I’m not friends with homicidal maniacs. [DN]

• Start the parade down Broad Street! New Phillies pitcher Ryan Franklin’s stats over the last two seasons: 12-31 with a 4.99 ERA. Oh, and he did this while on steroids. Whoo! [Inky]

• When politicians catfight, they don’t do much but send stupid little nasty letters to each other. Eh. [KYW 1060]

• Inky music critic Dan DeLuca doesn’t like the new Strokes album. [Inky]