Historic Blackface Parade Offends!

Looks like one of the comic clubs got in trouble again this year! The Daily News reported Saturday that the routine of the B. Love Strutters upset some. Why, we just can’t have tasteless jokes at this event that was forever a blackface parade! Let’s see what all the fuss is about:

The skit featured [Geno's Steaks owner Joey] Vento popping out of the top of a float labeled “Gewizno’s Steaks” with a “When ordering, speak English” sign. Vento waved a poster reading, “What?” and tossed fake cheesesteaks into the crowd.

Then an announcer for B. Love Strutters cried out, “Uh-oh, here comes the Border Patrol!” Club members wearing Texas-sized cowboy hats and brandishing wooden rifles pretended to hold back a rioting crowd of “immigrants” from storming the border “fences.” As the immigrants burst forth, they traded in their country’s flag for an American flag, and a Mummer dressed as President-elect Barack Obama handed out Green Cards.

Look, the immigrants came into this country and traded their home country’s flag for an American one, so it could have been worse. I really enjoyed (I think) Lori Delgado’s attempt to spin it positively, calling the skit “a celebration of diversity.” Vento, of course, was having none of that, as he hates diversity:

When asked about that characterization yesterday, the 69-year-old Vento said, “Diversity? It’s a celebration to get a message across that we love immigrants here, we just want you here legally and we want you to speak English.”

Ha, ha, it sure was. Erhm.

Did routine cross bad-taste border? [Daily News]

1955 Philly Not All That Different

Philebrity posted The Miracle on the Delaware (1955) this afternoon; what makes this short doc/ad/PSA/whatever from WPTZ so incredible is how it spends the entire intro about how incredible the places around Philadelphia are: “Trenton is proud of its past, but even prouder of its future. Wilmington, Delaware. A half-hour ride from Philadelphia, but closer than that in kinship and spirit…. And it’s the dream of every little boy to shop at Allentown’s Hess Brothers, where a single toy can cost five thousand dollars.”

What this sort of reminds me of is how the TV news will focus on the weather of an area when they may not even have more than one reporter there. It’s a way to say, “Hey, we cover you, suburbs and exurbs!” without actually having to do any reporting. I mean, the rest of this movie is about the Mummers, football, baseball… other than steel, what much is different? Oh, yeah, the part about church. (Also noted: What’s with all the beer ads at the end?)

Okay, I’m off to Hess Brothers.

Noontime Nuggetz: The Miracle On The Delaware [Philebrity]

Mummers Finally Put White People Into History Books

Photographer E.A. “Ed” Kennedy III, who is originally from New Orleans, is amazed at how little appreciation Philadelphia seems to have for the Mummers.

“We’re tolerating them, we’re putting up with them,” he said. “There is really an antipathy toward white, working-class culture in the United States.”

Kennedy, who is African-American, added, “If these guys had been black, there would have been four or five books like this.”

The Mummers are apparently finally getting the respect they deserve, after being held down by the black man for so long. Finally, a win for the white man. Um.

Inside the Mummers [Daily News]
[Photo by andrea2382, CC license]

The Mummers Will Let You Play With Only Two Fingers, But They’ll Still Curse You Out Pre-Performance

The Daily News‘ Dan Geringer has a Heartwarming Holiday Story™ about Tom Healy, a South Philadelphian who lost three fingers in an accident in 1986. They were reattached, but he wasn’t able to control them.

So, of course, Healy joined the Mummers and learned how to play in pain and it made him so much happier, etc. etc. His mentor was the late John “Pop” Pignotti Sr., who offered him this sound advice during his first year as a mummer:

“They put me right next to Pop, figuring he would help me get through it,” Healy said. “We get to the judges’ stand at City Hall. We are standing with our backs to the judges, ready to turn around and start playing. I said, ‘Pop, I just want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I really…’ Pop said, ‘Shut the fuck up and just do your job.’ “

Hey, this is more of a Philadelphia story than I originally thought. Way to get your non-moving fingers to play “Daddy’s Little Girl.” Now shut the fuck up about your accident and don’t screw up.

He got a banjo, and a new life [Daily News]

Leftovers: Mummery Of Years Past

• From the George Grantham Bain Collection at the Library of Congress comes this photograph of mummers in 1909 (click to enlarge). Wait, there was a time at the Mummer’s Parade before all the spectators were wearing Eagles jackets and the mummers carrying Eagles flags? Wow. [Library of Congress via Criminently, Nutsey!]

• Now that the Inquirer and the Daily News have been sold, what will happen to those plucky, talented writers who do their jobs and don’t complain and are pretty talented individuals, to boot? Here’s the scary part: We don’t know. [NYT]

• Pennsylvania, apparently, has an official, state-licensed Wine of the Month Club. Naturally, the wines are shipped to your local state store once a month, and not to somewhere a bit more convenient. [KYW 1060]

• In a book review, Malcolm Gladwell says that on average, Allen Iverson hasn’t even been the best player on his team some years. Ho ho! Good one, Mr. Gladwell! Oh… wait… you’re serious? Well, do you mean Matt Geiger or Nazr Mohammed? Or do you mean Michael Cage? [The New Yorker]

• And, finally, former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey had anonymous gay sex at Jersey rest stops, he admits in his new book. Well, so much for his new book being boring! More on this tomorrow, God willing. [AP/NBC 10]

Abridged Daily News columnists

Gar Joseph: Hrmm… not much going on, what should I write about… I got it! A gimmick column with New Year’s resolutions from local politicos!

Stu Bykofsky: The Mummers parade is great, but it’s not great enough for Byko, bitches! If you make it (actual quote) “faster and funner” — get this — I’ll never write about it again!