Blog-Powered TV Ad Predictably Great

I had heard a while back about ads funded by readers of some liberal blogs running against Democratic Rep. Chris Carney of Pennsylvania. I didn’t know until today how awesome they were. Ha ha, Monopoly photoshops and scary voiceovers about Bush and Cheney. I think I can safely say any increased influence of the Internet on politics is going to be great.

New A.C. Mayor Won’t Let Old Staffers Pass Go

I know what you’re thinking. “How, exactly,” you say, “can this Atlantic City mayoral scandal get any better? The missing fake Green Beret mayor resigned already. There’s nothing else that’s gonna happen in this story.” (Incidentally, I know what you’re thinking because you’re saying it out loud. Try to be a little quieter.)

Let me assuage your fears: This story is far from over. Atlantic City politics are kind of like Philadelphia politics, except everyone is about 100 times stupider. (So maybe it’s like 1980s Philly politics?) This means there’s still plenty of laughs to go around. For example: William “Speedy” Marsh, after being sworn in last week, decided to do this:

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Monopoly For Christians Released

Hey kids! Tired of your Xbox, your Internet, your Nintendo, your interactive games where you can battle your Pokemon (or whatever) against some little snotnose in Japan?

Of course you are! So instead of playing high-tech, interactive games, how about you sit down with a nice board game! I have just the one. It’s called Inheritance. You’ll love it. It’s just like Monopoly, only that in Monopoly the purpose is to bankrupt your opponents and acquire all the cash in the world, while the purpose of Inheritance is to help the poor and learn about King Solomon’s pillars of wisdom. Sounds like a blast!

Be sure to play Inheritance, and then look for the sequel, Inheritance II. It’s just like Candyland, only that instead of gathering gumdrops (or whatever) and getting to the finish, you memorize all of Noah’s sons’ names.

New Game Focuses on the Bible [KYW 1060]

Leftovers: Store To Open At Mall

• The lead story on Philly.com right now is this one about Nordstrom’s, which is opening in Cherry Hill Mall in 2009. We don’t know why, either, but we’re as pumped as the Inky is about it! Capitalism wow! [Inquirer]

• Metro: So, any plans to attempt to help revitalize Chester aside from the casino? Harrah’s: Uh, no, but our casino will be nice! [Metro]

• According to CP, in the new Monopoly Philadelphia is Virginia Avenue. A red space? (And right next to Denver.) We don’t even get a yellow? Shit, I was hoping for a green one. Ouch. [The Clog]

• Shooting a guy six times after running him down with his your car because you think he stole your chain? Still possibly murder. [KYW 1060]

Leftovers: Shore enough

• Ahh! Shore guide in the Inquirer! That means it’s almost summer. All together now: Yay! [Inquirer]

• Speaking of going down the shore, Atlantic City will be remembered in the new Monopoly — on a Community Chest card. Gee, thanks, Hasbro. [KYW 1060]

• Not only is 911 a joke, but so is the CIA. Now, how long until the first “Hey, by reporting this you’re hurting national security!” from Michelle Malkin? [Harpers]

• A delivery company screwed up and had a ton of SEPTA Trailpasses stolen — Zone 2. SEPTA asking the public not to buy them. You know what this means: Cheap trailpasses! [Inquirer]

• Arlen Specter to Russ Feingold: “You are no more a protector of the Constitution than am I.” Russ Feingold to Arlen Specter: “Wait, you’re still a senator?” [Washington Post]

• This just might be the best newscaster slip-up, ever. [YouTube]

Photo by jessica jeanne

Leftovers: Give This Man A Regular Column, STAT!

• And, the award for best columnist ever goes to Richard D. Sloan, left, whose guest column about the Catholic conspiracy behind illegal immigration should be making you laugh so hard until it tickles. This goes all the way to the Supreme Court!, he writes, and maybe it does. Someone needs to give him a regular column. [Fort Wayne News-Sentinel via All Spin Zone]

• It’s Edmund Bacon Day, and none of you jerks even bothered to get me a card. I’ll be buying an airbrushed t-shirt and an overpriced CD at The Gallery to honor the late, great Bacon’s legacy. [Metro]

• Oh, Tanya Barrientos. I really, really tried to poke fun at your Inquirer column about foot fashion and care and… I just couldn’t. It was too bubbly. Plus, those articles are necessary to keep the Inky’s stranglehold on the “suburban fortysomething” market. [Inky]

• That $100 check to pay for gas (or new kicks)? Not so much. The oil companies hated it because they were going to be taxed to pay for it and drivers were confused as to just how much it was going to help and everybody else was like, “Sweet, free money!” Unfortunately, it failed. No new Nikes for me. [AP/CNN]

• Atlantic City’s rally to keep Boardwalk on the board of the Monopoly “Here & Now” edition drew only a few people. Poor Boardwalk. Poor, poor Boardwalk. [KYW 1060]

Surely, They’ll Build Real Hotels On The Liberty Bell One Day, Anyway

Yesterday, I wrote about the awful, awful plan for a new Monopoly board game. You, however, can vote on what landmarks will be on the new “Here & Now Edition” board. I’m not quite sure how you can put houses and hotels on, say, the Empire State Building, but I suppose you could say the same thing about Park Place.

Philadelphia is included among the cities that will have landmarks on the new Monopoly edition, and here are the three that you can vote on:

Independence Hall, the Libery Bell and… the Parkway? That’s it? That’s our third biggest landmark? Wait, what? Why not the Art Museum? Uh, City Hall? The late, great Shibe Park?

Naturally, I voted for the Parkway, though. Gotta root for the underdog.

Monopoly Here & Now [Hasbro]
Leftovers: Leftovers: ‘Free Parking’ To Be Replaced By ‘Parking, $10/Hour’

Leftovers: ‘Free Parking’ To Be Replaced By ‘Parking, $10/Hour’

• Someone at Hasbro should have gone to jail instead of done this: Updating Monopoly to reflect current trends and prices. Don’t mess with a classic. Plus, getting a $10 bank error in your favor is the best part! [CNNMoney.com]

• The truth of the matter is, if you blog to get a book deal, and you don’t get one, you’ll probably give up your blog and say it wasn’t worth it. Right. Because you didn’t get said book deal. [Slate]

• Not too many details, but apparently the Tucker Max Legal Defense Party went well Friday night. [Tucker Max Blog]

• Surprise! An AP article about a possible sex toy ban in South Carolina contains double entendre after double entendre! [Wonkette]

• Can someone please confirm for me that this article about the Congressional Softball League is a joke? Like, this is a late April Fools joke from the WSJ, right? I mean, not all the partisan bickering — that I can believe. But 190 teams in a league? How can you have a league with that many teams in it? [Wall Street Journal]

• And, finally, some sad news to pass along: Lawyer, lecturer and Daily News/Tribune columnist Rotan Lee died after a sudden illness. He was 57. [DN]