Democrats Wasting Money Faster Than Republicans

Hey! Do you know much aides in state government make? If you’re reading this blog, there’s a good chance they make more than you! (Note to potential advertisers: This is a joke. The average income of a Philadelphia Will Do reader is approximately $200,000, all of it in disposable income.)

Figures released yesterday show the Democrats, surprise surprise, pay their employees more than the Republicans do. The Republicans, on the other hand, make their employees work Christmas Eve and don’t give them health insurance, leading to the death of 17 children named Tiny Tim. Also all of the Democratic employees are illegal immigrants.

House Democratic employees are costing taxpayers $34.5 million a year for their 835 employees, with an average salary of $41,261.

House Republicans, on the other hand, are spending $30.9 million on payroll annually for their 839 employees, with an average salary of $36,912.

House Democrats handed out $1,854,505 in bonuses last year to employees, nearly seven times higher than House Republicans’ $269,661.

The difference was reversed in 2005, when House Republicans handed out $649,661 in employee bonuses, compared with House Democrats’ lesser $468,271.

You know, the Republicans have done a nice job of winning the spending (or, if you wish, wasting) money war on the national level. But it’s good to see that, at least in this state, the Democrats are still on top of their game. My philosophy is: The more the government spends money, the funnier it gets. So, really, these totals can only mean good things for this blog.

House Democrats paying staff more than Republicans [Bucks County Courier Times]

Fix My Car Or I’ll Put Up Magnetic Signs!

When I was in high school, I used to drive by this couple almost every day that would stand out front of a store with sandwichboards on, urging people not to shop there. “Refund my $500, Andalusia Television,” the one sign said (something like that, at least). “Don’t shop at Andalusia TV,” read the other. I can only assume that, unless Andalusia TV refunded their $500, the old couple is still there, still asking for $500, still urging people not to get their TVs repaired — if people still do, indeed, get their televisions repaired — at Andalusia TV.

Point is, people go a little over-the-top when they think somebody cheated them out of money. Such is the case with Jim Broomell, who hates Cherry Hill Dodge so much he’s affixed magnetic signs on his truck saying “Cherry Hill Dodge Sucks.” He even has a website dedicated to hating Cherry Hill Dodge, available at the easy-to-remember URL cherryhilltriplexscrewedmesuedmeandlost.com.

And, indeed, Cherry Hill Dodge — aka Cherry Hill Triplex — did sue Jim Broomell for putting those signs on the side of his truck, and did indeed lose after the lawsuit was thrown out on a technicality.

The story, recounted with more patience that I’d be able to muster by the Inky’s Troy Graham, goes like this: Broomell bought a used truck, which faltered. Broomell filed a lemon-law suit and got a nice warranty out of it. When he took it to Cherry Hill Dodge, they refused to work on it. He then sued, but the case was later thrown out.

Cherry Hill Dodge’s lawyer says Broomell was “yelling and screaming at people”, they were tired of dealing with him, so they didn’t work on his car. But after his lawsuit was thrown out, he put the magnetic stickers on his truck — and then the dealership sued him, accusing him of hurting the business with his signs.

Now that the case has been thrown out, Broomell is considering suing them again, this time for court costs, about $500. (He’s been acting as his own lawyer.)

Here’s Broomell’s summary on his website:

I bought a truck there with a warranty. I had problems with the truck shaking at 60+ mph. I took it to “my selling dealer” while it was under warranty. The mechanics at Cherry Hill Triplex couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the truck so Cherry Hill Triplex told me they were not going to work on it anymore. I told them I would drive around with these signs if they didn’t fix it! So I did, as well as told my story to several websites. Cherry Hill Triplex responded by suing me - a customer of theirs! I represented myself against their big corporate firm Capehart and Scatchard. In fact, the opposing attorney, Laura Ruccolo, was rated one of “SJ’s Top Attorneys” on page 41 of the August issue of SJ Magazine. (Editor’s Note: Sounds like someone doesn’t understand how those “South Jersey’s Top Attorneys” promotions work!)

Ahh, yes, the old “fix my car or I’ll put big giant magnetic signs on my truck” angle. Well, hey, I suppose it worked, though I can’t fathom getting upset enough about anything to put signs on my car about it. But, hey, that’s why I’m an amused observer of this saga rather than a participant. Keep it up, Jim! Maybe you can lease out the rest of your truck to other people who hate certain businesses. You could be a one-man traveling hate machine! Think about it.

Needless to say, he also started his own Google Group called “Cherry Hill Triplex Sucks.”

The Internet as battleground of free speech [Inquirer]
cherryhilltriplexscrewedmesuedmeandlost.com

DiCicco: It’s Irresponsible Not To Waste Money

When we last heard from City Councilman Frank DiCicco (right), he was complaining that the federal government put him in Vince Fumo’s indictment just because he accepted free work from Fumo’s people even though they were being paid by Citizens Alliance to, say, put in floors in a house he bought. Wah, wah, he said, the government is just trying to make their indictment sexier.

Well, yesterday, DiCicco was leading the charge in City Council against the casinos, hoping to thwart or delay their arrival and to make sure his constituents re-elect him come May. Casino Free Philadelphia sponsored a petition with 27,000 signatures saying we shouldn’t have casinos.

The problem is, of course, that many of these proposals — such as the one banning all casinos from the city, the one letting residents vote on the casino proposals or the one that bans all casinos that rhyme with “Box Goods” and “Booger Mouse” — won’t stand up in court.

City Solicitor Romulo L. Diaz Jr. warned that approval of anti-casino measures by City Council would only delay the arrival of the casinos, cost the city money in legal fees, and possibly sacrifice whatever zoning power the city now enjoys over the casino sites.

“The city’s powers in this regard are limited,” Diaz said at yesterday’s hearing. “We must respect the Gaming Control Board’s licensing decision, or else we will face almost certain defeat in the courts and inevitably will lose any local land use control.”

Of course, DiCicco wasn’t having any of it.

Diaz: “It is my conclusion that such a bill would be most likely struck down by the courts.”

DiCicco: “To take the position that we just basically have to roll over on this one and agree that we’re going to lose in court and, therefore, let’s not do these bills, I think is irresponsible.”

DiCicco added, “It is a long tradition of City Council — indeed, all government! — to waste money on futile projects. Why not waste money on something that not only is something many people would like us to do but could also get me re-elected? If we can’t waste money on this sensible proposal than, I ask, what can we waste money on?”

City Council was so impressed they agreed to vote on the proposals next month.

Public vote on casinos is discussed [Inquirer]
Feb. 8: DiCicco Too Sexy For This Federal Indictment

Mint Hopes New Dollar Coins Will Capture Americans’ Interest For Whole Week This Time

Whoo! Are you excited? Today is the day! Now that we’ve fully established that we Americans don’t want a coin with a woman on it, the U.S. mint has returned to the traditional system of dead white men on coins. And guess what they’re on this time: A new dollar coin!

Yes, today is the release of the new dollar coins, sure to annoy all of us when we put in a $20 to buy some stamps and get like 10 George Washington dollar coins in change. The new dollar coin is the latest attempt by the American government to ween us off the paper $1 bill, since coins can last longer and, therefore, save money. (As they say, you gotta spend money to make money. Okay, I apologize for that one.)

The new coins feature all of our presidents, in succession, with a new one coming out every three months. Who doesn’t want a coin of noted alleged gay president James Buchanan? (Coincidentally, he’s the only president from Pennsylvania. Also coincidentally, he was an awful, awful president. He also started a war with Mormons!) Or how about Millard Fillmore? Or, even better, the special limited edition William Henry Harrison coin (above) that is only valid for 30 days? Or the Grover Cleveland coin, which will come out on two non-consecutive occasions? (Okay, I’m sorry for all of these, too.)

Yes, these coins are sure to capture our hearts for at least a week until we forget about them — except when we get them from vending machines — and simply use paper bills like we’re always going to do. God Bless America!

New $1 coin goes into circulation [AP/Philly.com]

Reason #56 To Love Philadelphia: Jon Lieber’s Truck

Last year, Aaron Rowand showed up at Spring Training with a jacked up Ford F-250. Jon Lieber couldn’t let that stand. So he bought a house and converted it into a truck.

Well, okay, he special ordered it from Ford. And yesterday, Jon Lieber showed up at Spring Training (hooray!) in a giant Ford F-650. It cost him $211,000, which is cheaper than the same truck models owned by Shaquille O’Neal, the King of Jordan and Sheik Mohammed of Dubai. So he got a great deal!

(I know, I suppose we should hate that truck, since I’m sure it’s responsible for roughly 5 percent of recent global warming, but let’s pretend it runs on rainbows instead of diesel.)

Some fun facts: Passengers must go up two steps to enter the vehicle. It costs $500 to fill up (four 50-gallon tanks) and gets 12 miles to the gallon. The satellite service on the truck costs $4.99 a month. Ford apparently sold 60 of these things to people.

And, yes, it’s owned by a pitcher who went 9-11 with a 4.93 ERA last year yet makes more money than you or I will ever see. Wait, why is this a reason to love the city again?

Lieber’s camp arrival wheely amazing [Daily News]
[Photo via DN, by Jim Stem]

John S. Carter Has 99 Problems

Hey, did you know the Independence Seaport Museum is made of money? I mean, not literally, of course, although that particular situation is represented at right. (See, they haven’t had any renovations in a while, so the building is still covered with the old $100 bill.)

The museum accused its former president, John S. Carter, yesterday of defrauding the company of $2.4 million dollars. Wait. The Independence Seaport Museum has $2.4 million to defraud? I mean, no offense, but, ah, what?

The Seaport Museum also paid Carter $301,000 a year. This is more than the Art Museum head makes and approximately 330,000 times my salary. And yet he still allegedly stole — this is a legal term — “a ton of shit” from the museum, including these:

The suit said he also used a museum credit card to pay $1,315 to a sailmaker, saying it was an Enticer expense - “even though Enticer does not have sails.” [...]

In 2003, Carter claimed $16,771 worth of charges purportedly related to a meeting of the International Congress of Maritime Museums in England. But Carter’s credit-card receipts indicated that he and his wife were not in England, but instead had visited the French Riviera.

In 2004, the couple claimed $7,854 to attend the same conference in Europe, saying they had been to London, Nice and St. Tropez. The problem: The conference is held every other year. It didn’t meet in 2004.

Damn. I got to get myself a job blogging for the Independence Seaport Museum.

Ex-head of Seaport Museum accused of fraud [Inquirer]

Spending $255 Million: It’s A Breeze!

With all the fiscal problems plaguing the school district right now, one might think that the city is facing similar financial troubles.

Not so. In fact, the Street administration says the city’s budget surplus is even bigger than expected, with the city having on hand $255 million dollars extra. (Apparently, property taxes are being paid in this city, somewhere.)

So how’s council going to spend that $255 mil? Marian Tasco wants to give $10 million each to firefighters, cops and rec centers to fix up shit. Darrell Clarke wants to give some thought to helping the School District. All the council members want new gold decks for their houses. And Frank Rizzo wants “one of those guitars that are, like, double guitars.”

But, eh, c’mon. We (you, even!) could do a lot better. Rec centers? Education? Firefighters? Pshaw. Let’s use that $255 mil for projects that are actually useful.

More »

Perhaps EMTs Could Pose As Artists And Get Some New Ambulances

One could argue that arts are important to a city’s foundation. I guess I agree. You don’t get to be America’s Next Great City without such great art as the statue from Rocky III, the Geno’s sea of neon and trees covered in gum on South Street.

City Council and Mayor Street, though, don’t think they’ve done enough to foster artwork in the city, so they’ve proposed borrowing $150 million to foster the arts. Yay, good job, so forth, etc.

Right. You’re waiting for the catch. Don’t worry, it’s coming:

But the state agency that oversees the city’s finances warned that the city has already borrowed far too much. And city councilwoman Marion Tasco, an opponent, says more basic needs are going unmet: “We have not been able to maintain the infrastructure of fire stations, police stations, rec and ball fields.”

Well, hey, what’s a few closed down fire stations when there’s a dance troupe to be funded!

Mayor Street Wants to Borrow Millions For Local Arts [KYW 1060]
Sept. 22, 2005: America’s next great city? Really? Us?

Money Can’t Buy Me Love

It’s almost as if depression is a mental illness unrelated to how much money one has! Who knew!

Having Too Much [6 ABC]

Leftovers: Money For Nothing

• There are a slew of mayoral candidates are aren’t really “candidates” because they don’t yet want to adhere to the new strict fundraising guidelines: $2,500 for individuals and $10,000 for corporations. Still, since everyone knows they’re running for mayor (or planning to run), a lawsuit has been filed. Surely, this lawsuit will restore honesty and integrity to our political process! Or it will make lawyers some money. One of the two. [Inky]

• There’s a pillowfight in Love Park this Saturday. If you’re interested, get in on this before the city closes down the park, retools it to be unfriendly to pillowfighters and pisses off the huge ESPN Pillowfighting Games that happen to be taking place at the same time, thereby ruining any chances to have them here every year. [Phillyist]

• More children this year are dressing up for Easter. Unfortunately, they’re dressing up in suits and ties for mass, and not in some sort of fun bunny costumes. Alas. [KYW 1060]

• When they finally open slots parlors in Philadelphia — est. date of completion 2034 — who wants to be they’re old Atlantic City knockoffs that can’t accept the new $10 bill? In fact, if you want to bet that they’ll never have that or a similar problem, I’ll take you up on that offer. [AP/6 ABC]

• Finally, yes, that’s me making my debut in cartoon form in this week’s PW. Thanks to supercartoonist Jay Bevenour for realizing that, yes, if Curt Weldon were strangling a bunny and sitting on a puppy, I would be shocked and appalled. [PW]