Mysterious Fake Inquirer Fronts

What would you expect to find in the photostream of a Flickr user named Romney 2012? Would you believe parody Philadephia Inquirer pages?!

And there are one and two and three. Number two has a headline saying Pat Burrell left for the money — which is so laughably the opposite of the situation I don’t know where to start — and number three has this awesome skybox above the flag:

The fonts and such are all dead on, but whatever Romney supporter is behind this is probably just editing a .pdf of the front page in Acrobat to change the headlines.

But that’s no fun, so let’s use this theory instead: It’s a disgruntled design employee who stays behind after work to make a parody front page, making sure to put at least one right-wing talking point in each issue. Ha ha, did you see that one page? Peter Griffin of Family Guy died!

Oh, man, this dude also has a photo of a rocket slide! We used to have one of those at Picariello Playground when I was little and it was awesome. Kids today don’t know what they’re missing.

Karl Rove To Address, Uh, Penn Kids

Hey, remember Karl Rove? You know, kinda chunky guy, balding, rapped with the creepy-looking guy from Who’s Line Is It Anyway? (at right), helped Bush into the White House and start the war and such? Well, he’s speaking at Penn next month.

Yes, Turd Blossom himself will be at the Irvine Auditorium on Feb. 20 as the “Social Planning and Events Committee Connaissance spring keynote speaker,” which is something Penn probably had when I went there but I never knew what it was, and still don’t. It’s amazing that the fall keynote speaker was someone who had actually done more damage to our country than Rove (Whoopi Goldberg).

Anyway, the head of the Penn Democrats is disappointed they didn’t bring in a speaker currently on the campaign trail, because that’s practical.

“He’s clearly very divisive, but it’s disappointing that he’s not Mitt Romney or Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton,” said Wharton junior and Penn Democrats President Clayton Robinson, who said he would be interested in attending the event.

Yes, the head of the Penn Democrats really wants Mitt Romney to come to Penn. Maybe he has some gold tablets he needs translated. Ha ha, gold tablets, Mitt Romney is a Mormon, get it?

White House ‘architect’ Karl Rove to speak at Penn [DP]

Million March 4 God Softens Rhetoric

Okay, so last night I noticed this post about the ACLU on the Million March 4 God website. It called them commies, or something? I sent it to a friend, but the only thing she said near it other than laughter was, “I think we should campaign to ruin the Pro Bowl by organizing a campaign for John Beck.” They even changed the wacky health care plan. Aww.

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