Milton No Longer The Great Entertainer He Once Was

Everyone’s favorite candidate for City Council, Milton Street, was in a New Jersey court yesterday answering charges he failed to pay parking tickets from the 1990s. And, as the Daily News‘ Wendy Ruderman points out, the public was ready for the show to begin.

The appearance of Mayor Street’s colorful older brother in Moorestown Municipal Court caused a stir among fellow scofflaws.

“I expect him to have some choice words for the judge,” said Kathleen Noon, 47, who was in court for a speeding ticket. “I hope I’m still here when he goes up.”

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say there’s a good chance people intentionally broke traffic laws on the streets of Moorestown in order for the chance to go see Milton Street’s show. Cop stopped you for speeding? It’s okay, you might get a chance to see the Milton Street in court. Although it isn’t likely the show would be as good as his song-and-dance show on March 1, it’d be a Milton Street stand-up appearance nonetheless.

Well, no dice. Milton didn’t do anything yesterday except mumble a few words to the judge after being admonished for letting these tickets sit for over a decade. Ol’ Milty agreed to pay a $678 fine and went on his way, telling reporters he was glad it was over. “It was nagging… It was like a big hemorrhoid,” he said to the press.

Aw, c’mon, Milt! That’s no way to act as the Greatest Candidate in Philadelphia Political History. Where are the references to Watermelon Man, the prop coffin, the heartfelt singing? This is simply unacceptable. Once you become the Greatest Candidate in Philadelphia Political History, there are responsibilities you have to uphold. C’mon, Milt!

Just the ticket for meek Milton [Daily News]

Breaking: Bob Brady Kills Witness, Tom Knox Hates Katrina Victims

First off, the above photo: Awesome.

Second: The plucky political reporters over at the Inquirer are up in Polish Country, covering the challenge to Bob Brady’s nominating petitions. So far, there have been three major developments:

• Judge Toole ruled Bob Brady must testify, thereby forcing him to miss an important House of Representatives vote on Hurricane Katrina funding. Oh no! How will that ever pass! The Inquirer: “‘I’m trying to get to a vote,’ he said. ‘It’s a shame to be here for this.’ He notes the votes awaiting him on the House floor, at 2 p.m., ‘Katrina, more funding.’ He rolls his eyes, looks at his watch.”
• The second witness for Paul Rosen — that’s Tom Knox’s lawyer — has gone missing. The missing witness is a member of the Carpenter’s union. One can only assume Bob Brady has killed him and feasted on his innards afterward.
• Milton Street dropped his challenge against Bob Brady, since he doesn’t want a white guy to win. Milton: “I don’t want to go in the black community and hear them say, ‘You made Tom Knox mayor.’” Then he said “Watermelon Man,” draped himself over a coffin and belted out an Aretha Franklin tune.

Oh, and Brady’s defense is that since he listed his pension on his federal financial disclosures (for Congress), he didn’t need to list it on his mayoral nominating petitions.

A witness goes MIA [Mayorpalooza]
Judge Rules Brady Must Testify; He’ll Have To Miss DC Votes [Mayorpalooza]

Milton Street Doesn’t Know–Cough, Sharif Street, Cough–Who Attempted To Knock Him Off The Ballot

Hallelujah! Yesterday, the mysterious man known as Samuel Harris had his petition challenge to T. Milton Street denied, clearing the way for Ol’ Uncle Milty to run for At-Large City Council on the May 15 primary.

While it doesn’t quite have the same panache as a mayoral run would’ve, I think we citizens of Philadelphia will take what we can get here. Oddly enough, Milton Street wasn’t challenged for anything relating to, oh, living in New Jersey. Apparently everybody else felt he was “domiciled in Philadelphia.”

And KYW 1060 has this nice Milton Street gem:

“You know, you can’t really know who was behind it. I have a good idea who was behind it, but I’m not going to say.”

But then Milton Street went on to say his nephew Sharif, who is also a candidate for City Council at large, led the challenge. Uncle Milton said he respects Sharif for fighting, adding that he doesn’t take it personally.

I like a candidate who flip-flops almost instantaneously. It adds some realism into the election equation. Appeals are forthcoming to Milton not being kicked off the ballot, but for now, cross your fingers and celebrate. Might want to get a St. Joseph statue in the meantime.

Petitions OK, Milt hits campaign trail [Daily News]
Milton Street’s Bid for Phila. City Council Continues [KYW 1060]

Breaking: Milton Stays!

This just in: Milton Street has survived his ballot challenge from Sharif Street some dude and will be on the primary ballot for City Council on May 15.

Other candidates were knocked off the ballot, but they’re not Milton Street, so nobody cares.

Challenge update: Street stays [Fight for Room 215]

The Mayor’s Race: Nobody Gives A Shit!

If you’re reading this, chances are you don’t give a shit about the mayor’s race. The Inquirer’s Larry Eichel writes today about how nobody really cares about who wins the race for mayor outside of a few people on Young Philly Politics and Jim Kenney.

There are no real polls or anything to back it up other than a quote from Jerry Mondesire, but I’d agree with the article’s overall point. Of course nobody cares about the mayor’s race. I have the best kind of evidence right here to add to it: Anecdotal evidence. I ask men and women all over town what they think of the mayor’s race and they usually say (a) I don’t care or (b) you already asked me three times and I already told you I don’t care or (c) I’m calling the police due to your unhealthy interest in the mayor’s race.

So nobody cares about the mayor’s race, right? But there is someone this city cares about, and that’s one T. Milton Street, ol’ Tommy Boy himself. Milton Street gave people a reason to care about the mayor’s race. He sang while draped over a coffin. He wanted to legalize marijuana. And he sang while draped over a coffin.

Let’s face it: Even if a new mayor could fix a lot of the city’s current problems, there aren’t many people who believe that. And even if people could make a reasoned, well-thought-out choice of who to vote for in the mayor’s race by paying attention to the coverage, nobody wants to pay attention.

So, lighten up, naysayers, and let’s clamor to let Milton Street back in the mayor’s race. It’s for the good of the other candidates.

Voters tune out skirmish for mayor [Inquirer]

Breaking: Milton Lives… For Now

Breaking: Milton Street survived the challenge to his nominating petitions! Of course, this is only a delay for him; he survived the challenge to his financial statement. The challenge to his signatures — many of which appear to be in the same handwriting — takes place on Monday.

Oh, yeah, and Street has blamed his nephew, Sharif Street, for challenging his petitions. Is he disappointed by that? “No, it’s going to be disappointing to him when I get on the ballot.”

Challenge Update: A long day, almost over [Fight for Room 215]

Is This The Untimely Demise Of Milton Street?

It might be over for Milton Street. Ol’ Milty is having his petition for City Council challenged, and, well, things aren’t going so well, Josh Cornfeld reports.

Also, Milton Street asked for a continuance because he said he’s been sick and hasn’t had a chance to review the challenge filed against him Tuesday. No dice, said the judge. We’ll give you a few hours.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed. I hope you can join me in chanting: Let Milt run! Let Milt run!

Challenges Update: Milton sick, Whaumbush stays [Fight for Room 215]

Your Milton Moment Of The Day

From the Inquirer’s (very good) Mayorpalooza blog, regarding everyone’s favorite candidate for mayor City Council:

Sharp-eyed City Hall bureau chief Marcia Gelbart notes that Milton Street’s lawsuit challenging Brady’s nomination asks that the Congressman be removed from the May 17, 2005 mayoral primary ballot.

The election, Marcia points out, is May 15. And, yes, it is taking place this year, 2007.

Can someone legally challenge Milton’s challenge for getting the date wrong by two years and two days? That would pretty much tie up this entire mayor’s race in one neat little package.

That Darn Milton [Mayorpalooza]
[Head of Milton Street from photo by Kyle Cassidy, licensed via Creative Commons]

Milton Street, Fake Candidate With Real Drug Policy

Today’s Philadelphia Weekly has a big ol’ feature on America’s #1 politician, Milton Street. In addition to revealing how he got all the signatures for his now-City Council At-Large run — “I was out there last night at some of the homeless shelters, and those brothers are ready to do things” — and his stance on marijuana:

“We don’t take advantage of all our natural resources,” he says sincerely, passionately. “Marijuana is the largest cash crop in America.”

The 67-year-old unemployed former hot dog vendor—who wanted to replace his brother as mayor despite the fact he’s facing federal charges for corruption and tax evasion—wants to decriminalize marijuana.

“Yeah, and sell it through the state stores, just like they sell liquor,” Street says with conviction, as though debating the point would be ludicrous. “It’s not as detrimental to your health as alcohol.”

The man who may or may not live in Moorestown, N.J., thinks legalizing marijuana could be a way of alleviating property taxes, funding schools and adding police officers. He says he tried to get legislation passed in 1982 when he served as a state senator in Harrisburg, but he couldn’t rally support.

“It’s all about money,” he concedes. “It’s all about economics.”

Isn’t it amazing? The thing Milton Street is most lucid on is drug policy.

Milton’s Paradise Lost [PW]

Sharif Don’t LIke It?

Milton Street, ex-candidate for mayor and current candidate for city council at-large, might not be on the ballot much longer. His petition has been challenged, as a court filing yesterday accused hundreds of his signatures of being fraudulent.

Sad, I know. However, there’s a fun twist! The man filing the challenge is none other than Sharif Street, Milton’s nephew and fellow candidate for city council at-large.

Okay, not really. But the man who challenged Milton’s petitions, West Philadelphia’s Samuel Harris, has been paid in the past by Sharif for political outreach work. So it was only $500 last year and $190 in 2003. But that’s close enough! Sounds like Sharif’s challenging Milton’s petitions to me!

Sharif denied the allegations, as his spokesperson said he hasn’t hired or asked anyone to challenge Until Milty’s bid for an at-large seat. Primary in a day and two months! Gawd, there’s still so much time left.

A dead end ahead for one Street? [Inquirer]