Only Apply If You’re METAL Enough

Major local media outlet is looking for freelance music journalists who specialize in METAL.

You must be passionate about METAL and have an extensive knowledge of the local METAL scene, relevant bands, releases, and history.

Your Craigslist ad of the day, people. METAL. Thanks, Emily G.

Shop Selling (Gasp) Sex Toys

NBC 10 also spent a few minutes early in its 6 p.m. newscast last night to cover a “scandalous sex shop” in West Chester. Apparently, there’s a store with lingerie that has sex toys in the back, and people are not happy because it’s near an ice cream shop, a pizza place and a school.

“I think anytime you take something like that — something involving human sexuality and pervert it — that’s wrong,” the Rev. Edward Deliman told NBC 10. The “sexologist” is unbowed, ready and willing to fight for her shop’s right to sell vibrators. Redlasso video after the jump.

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Media Just Like A Sad Puppy To Obama

Barack Obama’s big speech on race was like 84 billion minutes long. It was good and all — I mean, it was good when I was paying attention to it in the beginning — but then it kept going on and on. I especially liked the part where he was like, “My grandma was scared of black people!” Oh, you silly white people.

Obama and Hillary “Rodham” Clinton aren’t just chilling in Philadelphia; they both have to go all over the state in order to get these people to vote for them and oh my God John McCain is going to be president, isn’t he? Anyway, apparently while up in the Wilkes-Barre area, Barack Obama was mean to The Times Leader, the paper of record:

“Look, we’re not here to answer questions from The Times Leader all day,” said Sean Smith, an Obama press official. “You will get releases as soon as they are available.”

You take that, Times Leader! It is interesting that for once Hillary Clinton is the warm-’n'-fuzzy lovable, hug-able candidate and Barack Obama is Mr. Meanie. But Obama is the one the press is in favor of, according to conventional wisdom; even though he treats them like crap, they keep coming back like a dog. Aww, good boy.

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The ‘Bonnie & Clyde’ Of Danville, Pennsylvania

The above photo is of the last moments of a cow’s life. After the morning newspaper in Danville, Pa. (map) ran this photo, several readers called in to complain and threatened to cancel their subscriptions. Here’s the :

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Baseball Legend Out Of Nowhere

When you consume as much media as I do, it’s hard to get your brain to stop and slow down and actually let something weird in a story sink in. Pit bulls maul miniature horse donated to sick kid with brain cancer. Drivers in Indiana get stuck in freshly-poured concrete road. 33-year-old teacher has sex with 16-year-old mentally disabled student. All of these are ridiculous (and in some cases horrible; the drivers getting stuck in concrete is pretty awesome), but they don’t really surprise me.

No, it takes a long, drawn out introduction in a blog post a really out-of-left field second paragraph to make my brain stop and slow down and say “Guh-wha?” For example:

MIDDLETOWN - A 21-year-old Middletown dad is standing trial in Bucks County court in Doylestown this week on charges he inflicted second-degree burns on his 5-week-old son by submerging the infant in scalding bath water.

David L. Cook of Poplar Street denies the charges. The baby’s mother and her family are standing behind him, including the infant’s maternal grandfather, baseball legend Ken Griffey Sr., who has attended Cook’s trial daily.

My brain: “Oh, what an awful story, let’s read on and–screeeeeeeeeeech. Shutting down…” Ahh, yes, Ken Griffey Senior. That’s exactly who I expected to show up in the second paragraph of this article. It’s going to take a while for my brain to reboot.

Dad tried for allegedly burning son [Bucks County Courier Times]
[Couple of those links via Fark]

Reporter Terrorizes A.C. Community

Despite its glitzy casinos and bright lights near the beach, the rest of Atlantic City isn’t quite a beachfront paradise. It’s kind of a dive. Come to think of it, the casinos are dives, too. Okay, well, at least the beach is free. I think.

Anyway, consider the case of Lucy McGlynn, who lives in the Cove, a development partially paid for with casino revenue. In nine years of living in AC, she says she’s been robbed 10 times, including a thief who took her garden shoes.

Of course, if you own garden shoes, why are you living in Atlantic City? Funny, that’s pretty much what McGlynn says an officer said to her when she reported a crime. The neighborhood still seems fairly safe, except for one woman, but when the Press of Atlantic City attempted to get the scoop on the neighborhood, the residents all ran away:

One woman closed her door when she saw a reporter approaching, later leaving in a car while refusing to make eye contact. An older woman chatting with a neighbor through a car window said McGlynn was the only one with problems.

But she refused to give her name or further discuss problems, saying, “I don’t have to give a reason. I don’t want to talk to you.”

Perhaps the residents thought the reporter was another thief.

A.C. resident waits for next time she’ll be robbed [Press of AC]

Alycia Lane Fan Pleads In Paper For Date

A letter in today’s Daily News from one Mark Anthony Vare, who currently has one Google result:

ANNE M. Ginsberg, I’m sad to read of your enmity toward Alycia Lane. She is naturally gorgeous and owes no one an apology.

She wasn’t on the entire front page due to her countenance. She was NEWS. And the DN is a NEWSpaper. (Not a tabloid scandal-sheet.)

The vast majority of us aren’t glamorous. Don’t toss-’n'-turn over it.

This is pretty much the best defense of celebrity coverage possible: These people are beautiful, and deserve to be covered!

I also urge you all to read the letter that prompted this response, along with the letters below it about Jim McGreevey molesting kids, why jury duty is awesome and why Barbaro sucks.

Alycia was news [DN]
Don’t let celeb drivel drive out real news [DN]

Ineligible Mayoral Candidate Angry Press Isn’t Giving Him Shot

Larry West, the mohawked 22-year-old candidate for mayor who is technically ineligible to run, is positioning himself for his independent mayoral candidacy now that the Democratic primary is over.

But he’s also lambasting the press for not giving himself, Republican candidate Al Taubenberger and the ghost of Joseph S. Clark enough of a shot.

You can only imagine how aggravating it is to wake up and see people declaring Nutter “Mayor-Elect”; that, despite the fact the actual mayoral election isn’t for another 6 months. All the local media outlets began to join in the chorus, Fox News calling him just that, and all the other stations reminding viewers that Philadelphian’s have not elected a non-Democrat in over 50 years. But trust me when I say this, I intend on changing that.

I don’t know, Larry. I don’t know if I can come up with enough agitprop to make Edward R. Murrow cringe to help you in your campaign. We’ll see, though.

Never say never! [Larry West for Mayor Blog]

Fumo Delivers Pre-Emptive Defense

A day before he’s expected to be indicted, state senator Vince Fumo has lobbed a pre-emptive strike at the feds. (Ahh… what a politician.) The speech took place on the Senate floor this afternoon.

Fumo explained how he’s innocent, the charges are trumped up, blah blah blah. You know how this works. He temporarily resigned from the minority chair of the Senate Appropriations Committee, but says he’ll be back. The indictment is expected to focus on his dealings with Citizens’ Alliance for Better Neighborhoods and will most likely allege he used millions of the charity’s money for his own political and personal benefit.

So why hold a presser a day early? Easy: It lets you go first. But he also was able to, in a traditional political tactic, kinda sorta blame the media, saying he was subject to “threats, intimidation and frequent leaks to media… intended to embarrass me.”

Only one day until the official indictment, it seems. Huzzah!

Fumo: I Am Not Guilty of These Allegations [6 ABC]
“I know in my heart I have not done anything illegal” [Inquirer]

GLOAT.O.: A Tale Of Three Papers

Side by side, the front pages of the Dallas Morning News and the Philadelphia Inquirer. Eagles-Dallas coverage is highlighted in green.

And, of course, our city’s precious Daily News (again, with Eagles coverage highlighted in green):

The moral here? Our city (and the media within it) may be obsessed with football, but at least we won!