Hillary To Head To Mayfair

While she’s debating Barack Obama tonight, Hillary Clinton will attempt to re-capture her husband’s magic by appearing, like he did, at the Mayfair Diner.

Meanwhile, Action News‘ Jim Gardner has just told us that for tonight’s debate, the podiums are much closer together than usual. No, really.

Elmer’s Glue Vandalizes NE Philly Churches

Up in Northeast Philly, a bunch of churches were vandalized by somebody (probably punk kid atheists) putting glue on the locks.

Somebody went up and down Tyson Avenue in Tacony/Mayfair, gluing the locks and breaking keys off in the doors of eight churches. How many churches are there in this town? I feel like there’s one for every resident. Anyway, guess who apparently got left alone: Catholic churches. Yeah, somebody managed to vandalize eight churches in Mayfair and not hit one Catholic church. That has to be intentional.

Here’s the head of the Tacony Baptist Church: “It’s really comical. They keyed that door and instead of jumping up and down smoking, I just thank God, because the devil is trying to tell us we are doing something right for the Lord.”

Hey, turning the other cheek? I thought Christians weren’t in to that anymore. Anyway, the best part of this story is definitely the graphic KYW 1060 came up with. Did they really use Elmer’s glue? Or am I just supposed to work a Barbaro joke in here?

Vandals Keep Phila. Worshippers Stuck in the Cold [KYW 1060]
Oct. 29: Graffiti Vandalizes School [6 ABC]

Ex-Nun Hordes Super Fast ‘Matrix’ Puppydogs

In Mayfair, a former nun was cited with 62 counts of animal cruelty after investigators found, uh, 46 cats and 16 dogs in her home. The woman apparently was taking in any animals she could get and the place was overrun with cute little bundles of fur.

Neighbors told NBC 10 the stench overwhelmed the neighborhood for two years, so they’re finally happy everything doesn’t smell like shit anymore.

Anyway, while the workers were bringing the dogs out, a few of them escaped, some of them apparently at warp speed, according to the photo above that looks like the poster for The Fugitive. They eventually caught all the dogs in the driveway (called an “alleyway” everywhere but Mayfair).

Also the ex-nun was outside of the house wearing a Phillies t-shirt. Silly. It shoulda been a Michael Vick jersey!

Former Nun Cited For 62 Counts Of Animal Cruelty [NBC 10]

Tree Thief On Loose In Mayfair

From Phillyblog:

I just moved to Mayfair to get away from this crap!

My mother gave me a tree to plant in the front lawn last week, because the previous owners of the house I just moved into took their tree with them. [WTF??—dmac]

I came home from work the other day to discover that my tree was stolen! It’s not as if it was sitting there in a pot, it was actually planted and mulched in the front lawn. There’s a gaping hole in my lawn now where the tree used to be.

I thought this kind of thing didn’t happen in Mayfair. (?)

Is this a common occurence in the area?

Ooh, this is a new one. Instead of your neighbors poisoning your trees to get rid of them, they simply steal them right out from under your nose.

My tree was stolen right from my front lawn in Mayfair! [Phillyblog]