Playhouse In God Damned Big Trouble, Ass

Students from the MaST Charter School in Somerton were appalled recently when they went to see the play Big, based on the 1988 Tom Hanks vehicle.

Anyway, the play wasn’t ruined by Peter Griffin from Family Guy or anyone else in the audience. The play was ruined because some of the actors were cursing, and the students of MaST Charter School were escorted away to prevent them from hearing one more “god damn.”

About 100 fifth-graders and 20 chaperones left after Act 1. Jenna Portnoy writes in The Intelligencer:

But the students and about 20 chaperones walked out of the Dec. 1 performance in disgust after sitting through a first act peppered with what one parent described as “expletives” and “inappropriate material and language.”

“I never would have allowed him to go had I known,” said Lisa Coyle of Northeast Philadelphia.

During the show, she exchanged worried looks with another mother and watched the six boys she was chaperoning squirm in their seats as “a suggestive hand reference to a girl’s chest was made” and actors used language such as “a—,” “son of a b——” and “god d——-.”

No! Not “a—”! For his part, Buxco Playhouse owner Ralph Miller has offered them free tickets to any other show at the Playhouse, including Babes in Toyland — which I assume is a porn of some sort — and Miracle on 34th Street. MaST principal Linda Coger says that Miller hasn’t returned here calls, as she wants refunds for the students.

Miller, though, has responded with a pair of quotes that I can’t really decide which one is better, so I’ll list ‘em both. I report, you decide.

• “I don’t know what else they want me to do, slit my wrists on Main Street?”
• “Bottom line, someone just wants to take a shot at the Bucks County Playhouse, and I guess we just have to take it.”

Eh, they’re both awesome, let’s call it a tie!

‘Big’ problems with play [Doylestown Intelligencer]