He Didn’t Fight; The Law Won

A man from West Philly pled guilty yesterday to being a lookout for a robbery of an 83-year-old man in a Gallery bathroom. (See? Yet another reason why you use the bathrooms in Market East Station, and not in the Gallery. The main reason, which should be enough anyway, is that the bathrooms in Market East are about 100,000 times nicer.)

Here’s the fun part of the story, though (which I must admit was pointed out by a Philly.com commenter):

Peruto was arrested Sept. 13 when he bolted from a West Philadelphia rowhouse, apparently believing that police officers serving bench warrants nearby were after him. He immediately confessed, authorities said

Well, I guess nobody expected the guy who helped rob an 83-year-old would be brave. I like to look at it another way, though: People are always talking about snitching, and this dude did it on himself! Why aren’t politicians having press conferences praising him?

W. Phila. man admits being ‘lookout’ in Market East robbery [Inquirer]
Anybody have any idea why lookout is in quotes in this headline?

Blue Snow Fails To Fall, Dooming Giant SEPTA Ad

Around this time last year, SEPTA put up a giant billboard on the 1234 Market St. building for Dunkin Donuts. This caused several things: One, it got SEPTA fined a certain amount of money, which was less than the amount of money SEPTA was making from the ad. Two, it made Citizens Bank workers answer queries about where the Dunkin Donuts was in the building. (There isn’t a DD in 1234 Market St.)

SEPTA eventually took the “American runs on Dunkin’” ad down, but has now requested a zoning variance so it can put up a new building wrap ad two stories high. “Something tasteful,” SEPTA spokesman Jim Whitaker said. A tasteful two-story advertisement.

The groups one might think would line up against this — SCRUB, the East of Broad Improvement Association — have indeed lined up against allowing the variance, along with Citizens Bank itself, who doesn’t want a competitor being advertised directly above it. And it appears the ad might not be going up, saving us the trouble of inaccurate donut directions:

Zoning board chairman David L. Auspitz was angered by another delay, and his mood did not improve when Suletta floated the idea of letting SEPTA-Titan put up the building wrap for a “one-year trial.”

“Forget about that,” Auspitz snapped. “What, is it snowing blue outside?”

SEPTA’s giant ad plans [Inquirer]
May 19, 2006: Now We Know Why SEPTA Isn’t Raising Fares
[Photo via Inquirer via SCRUB]

Market East To Be Outfitted With Giant Neon Ramen Ad

Looks like Philadelphia’s going to be getting a giant ad for soup sometime soon. (Sorry, I already used a Geno’s joke today and didn’t want to make another one.)

The Trinity Capitol Advisors has signed a 150-year lease with the estate of Stephen Girard for the lot between Market and Chestnut streets and 11th and 12th — for a cool $90 million — and is planning on making it the hippest hoppin place in town:

“Our idea is really be patient with it and make sure it’s right,” [TCA prez Ken] Kearns said of the four-building complex on Market Street across from The Gallery. “It has the potential to be a Times Square [or] Rockefeller Center for Philadelphia.”

Yes, that’s all well and good, but what will happen to the Funk-O-Mart? You make the Funk-O-Mart close — or force them to go to a different City Blue — and the people will riot.

Philadelphia’s Times Square? [Metro]