Are You Really Surprised?

Hey, look! There’s everyone’s favorite john and peeping tom, Bruce Barclay, with his good buddy, Karl Rove. Yes, that means there is only one degree of separation between Barclay and President George W. Bush.

As usual, since the sex scandal is of the homosexual variety, Bruce Barclay is a Republican. Jim McGreevey appears to be the exception, not the rule, I think.

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Gov. Rendell Offends Usual Suspects

Blah blah blah Ed Rendell blah blah white people blah blah blah Barack Obama blah blah blah Lynn Swann blah blah blah offensiveness blah blah blah people in Pennsylvania are racist:

Gov. Ed Rendell, one of Hillary Rodham Clinton’s most visible supporters, said some white Pennsylvanians are likely to vote against her rival Barack Obama because he is black. “You’ve got conservative whites here, and I think there are some whites who are probably not ready to vote for an African-American candidate,” Rendell told the editorial board of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in remarks that appeared in Tuesday’s paper.

To buttress his point, Rendell cited his 2006 re-election campaign, in which he defeated Republican challenger Lynn Swann, the former Pittsburgh Steelers star, by a margin of more than 60 percent to less than 40 percent. “I believe, looking at the returns in my election, that had Lynn Swann been the identical candidate that he was—well-spoken, charismatic, good-looking—but white instead of black, instead of winning by 22 points, I would have won by 17 or so,” he said. “And that (attitude) exists. But on the other hand, that is counterbalanced by Obama’s ability to bring new voters into the electoral pool.”

Blah blah blah he should resign blah blah blah KKK members would vote for Obama blah blah blah axes to grind because he supports Hillary blah blah blah Rendell says stupid things all the time blah blah blah too bad Lynn Swann wasn’t white or else I wouldn’t have had to buy my son a car blah blah blah liberals are racist blah blah blah comparing Obama to Lynn Swann is racist blah blah blah the Clintons are racist blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Okay, I got that post out of the way. If you need me, I’ll be out voting for a minority. Any one will do, really.

Oh, and is anyone surprised Rendell is posing with a white King Tut?

Adwatch: Death Of A Governor?!

Ah, yes, we move into the exciting third day of Adwatch. So far we’ve done ads attacking Lois Murphy (by the Republican National Congressional Committee) and Rick Santorum (by a pro-Little League Bob Casey), and today we’ll all take a look at one of Lynn Swann’s latest ads.

Despite his pedigree as a football player and a football sideline reporter, it appears Swann isn’t going to take the Pennsylvania election this year. Ed Rendell is leading by, uh, lots and lots of points in the polls, and Swann will end up doing TV analysis of Steelers games or something come late November. That hasn’t stopped him from continuing to take to the airwaves, however. After the jump, his Rendell attack ad.

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Lynn Swann Could Kick Your Ass At Beer Pong

Thank Pittsburgh sports blog Mondesi’s House for the following photo and anecdote (partially reprinted below), concerning gubernatorial candidate Lynn Swann, received from a reader. It happened at the Steelers-Eagles preseason game on Aug. 25:

While tailgating in Philly for the Steelers vs. Eagles preseason game we hear that Lynn Swann will be making his rounds to visit the Steeler fans… He gets to me and shakes my hand and I say, “I was wondering if you could do me a favor” as I hold up the ping pong ball. “Could you take one shot for us before you move on?” [...]

He makes a few arm motions warming up a bit, eyes the red cup at the other end of the table filled slightly with IC Light, takes a breath and let’s it fly. The crowd that surrounded the table was at least 30 deep by now with Steeler fans cheering for him like he was back on the field again. Cameras flashing, video camera’s rolling, his bodyguards and marketing team thinking about the damage this might do to his campaign and then… SPLASH DOWN….

Can Swann and Rendell have one more debate? Except, instead of a debate, it’d be a game of beer pong? That would be totally awesome.

Future Governor Lynn Swann Plays Beer Pong [Mondesi's House]

Leftovers: Sen. NJ Weedman

• According to a Myspace bulletin, NJ Weedman is holding a raffle “for all potheads” to support his Senate campaign. Hey, you can’t blame a guy for trying. And, really, could he be any worse than any Republicans or Democrats? [NJWeedman.com]

• The man who attacked an Amish school and killed three young girls and himself has been identified as Charles Carl Roberts IV. Police said an incident 20 years earlier may have led to the shootings. Yeah, ‘cuz those Amish are always real assholes. [Inquirer]

• Friday night, Susanna Foo punched a meter maid and was arrested. Ho ho, everyone said, until today, when the Inquirer reported that said officer had a miscarriage. Whoops. [Inky]

• Lynn Swann held a town hall meeting in Buxco yesterday. And who attended? “Billed as a town hall-style meeting, Sunday’s event featured a speech to about 100 area residents — most of whom wore ‘Swann/Matthews’ stickers. He also answered about a half-dozen questions from the audience.” Oh, so it’s a “town hall-style meeting.” Nevermind, then. [Bucks County Courier Times]

• And, of course: Go Eagles! Deadspin weekend editor MJD will be blogging it over at AOL and there’s an an enormous screen to watch it on at the Troc. Or you can watch it on your little 13-inch TV set and still cheer on the Birds all night.

• Finally: It’s gorgeous out. Go outside. Not. Eff work. [Weather Underground]

Send In The Clowns To Campaign Against Lynn Swann

It appears that Lynn Swann has made a bit of a tactical error in who he messes with (via Wook):

The Republican gubernatorial candidate was making the rounds at the Allentown Fair last week when he decided to take on a clown sitting above the dunk tank.

After watching Swann toss several balls at the target and miss, the clown yelled: “I hope you do better at the polls, buddy,” according to an account in the Morning Call of Allentown.

Swann had started to walk away when he suddenly turned back, picked up more balls, and began hurling them at the target.

When he finally hit the bull’s-eye and the clown plunged into the water, Swann stuck his fists in the air, triumphant.

Typical neophyte politician. You lose the clowns, you lose the proletariat. Although I guess that’s not who Swann was expecting to vote for him, anyway.

Swann puts clown in his place [Inky, 2nd item]
The Tipping Point [Wookified]

The Most Popular Boy In Class Wants Your Vote

Lynn Swann addressed the Republican Jewish Coalition on Wednesday evening, and asked for the votes of those in attendance thusly:

Formerly a football player for the Pittsburgh Steelers and a sports broadcaster for ABC, Swann isn’t discouraged by his lack of political experience. He mentioned other successful politicians, such as Ronald Regan and Arnold Schwarzenegger, with non-political backgrounds who “stepped up to the plate in the time of need.”

“I want you to know I do have some [political] experience,” Swann joked, “In the eighth grade I was elected president of my junior high school. So you see, I’ve already been president, and now I just want to be governor.”

New Swann tactic! If you’re a former football star running for office, compare the election to those that football stars usually win if they enter. Eh, that’s not quite so bad of a plan.

Swann Spouts Need For ‘Common Sense’ In Latest Campaign Stop [The Evening Bulletin]

Vote For Lynn Swann, The Pretty Candidate

Let’s delve into John Baer’s Daily News column about how Lynn Swann is taking it to the streets of every part of Pennsylvania in hopes of winning the governorship.

Baer’s column makes sure to point out all the wackiness that always seems to happen when a political candidate steps into any sort of uncontrolled situation. Unfortunately, Baer doesn’t report on any wackiness in Bucks County, but there are several choice moments chronicled when Swann steps out around 52nd and Market (we can only assume he picked up a bootleg Phillies hat while he was out there):

A vocal local rants as the bus slides curbside on 52nd on a steamy weekday morning. He snarls, waves his arms. But Swann aides give him a pamphlet, a pin and a T-shirt, and he ends up leading cheers: “I’ll sucker-punch you if you don’t vote for Lynn Swann!”

Swann’s deputy campaign manager, Randy Robinson, beams: “It’s a T-shirt conversion! We’re going after them one T-shirt at a time.”

Folks stop to meet Swann, many happy to do so. He’s his dapper self in a loose-fitting, soft-collared sport shirt, well-tailored dress slacks. And he’s good at this. A woman outside the West Philly Y says, “At least we’d have a good-looking governor.”

This sounds about right, and Swann — like Ed Rendell, in many ways, actually — is incredibly polished and even when he doesn’t give you a straight answer you sometimes feel like he actually answered the question. (This is probably the best quality a politician can have.)

Not everyone in West Philly was happy with Swann’s stop on 52nd Street. Some people felt, well, he needed to take that shit back to Pittsburgh:

It’s not unanimous. A dour-faced young man mumbles, “Lynn Swann, eh? You need to take that s— back to Pittsburgh.” And Cecilia Elliot, a cashier and mother of three, questions politician visits during election seasons: “What they come here for now? Let me go up to my black brothers and sisters? He’s been black!”

Clearly, Ms. Eliot needs a Lynn Swann t-shirt.

John Baer | Swann on offense in Ed’s territory [Daily News]

Let’s Make This Headline As Scandalous As Possible: Lynn Swann Allegedly Attends Party With Pantyless Cocaine-Overdosed Hooker!

Dan Gross today picks up the original report from longtime gossip columnist Janet Charlton’s website — the Internet is where old-time gossips go to pasture! — and runs with it. Charlton’s original report said a call girl had a cocaine overdose at a fundraiser in California for Lynn Swann.

It was blind, though, and that’s where Gross comes in. He reveals the owner of the house where the fundraiser took place was none other than Bradford M. Freeman! Wait, who? Who’s this guy other than another rich Republican? Wasn’t there a Harry Hairston sighting that could have led off the column instead?

Oh, right, the hooker who overdosed on cocaine with Lynn Swann in attendance. Oh, right, that’s it. Anyway, Gross calls up all the right parties and gets the standard (I guess) denials:

On Friday, Freeman told Lucey that his date was not a call girl and that she had a seizure, but it had not been drug-induced.

“That is the most irresponsible thing I’ve heard in my whole life,” he said. “She had a low sodium count and had a seizure.”

Charlton wrote that during the party, at Freeman’s home in the posh Brentwood neighborhood of Los Angeles, his date had been licking his ear at the table, and later had ended up underneath the table “kicking and screaming incoherently having some sort of convulsive drug induced fit.” 911 was called, the Web site said, and by the time paramedics arrived, the troubled woman, who was bruised and foaming at the mouth, had displayed her panty-less ballot box for her dinner companions.

Freeman said he “wasn’t searching for them,” when Lucey asked if his date had worn underwear.

“We have had some very successful fundraising trips to California, but we don’t comment on anything that happens at fund-raisers - in-state or out,” Melissa Walters, a spokeswoman for the Swann campaign told the People Paper’s Bob Warner on Friday.

Y’know what I find funny? Freeman sounds less angry than Joe Banner.

Dan Gross | GOP’er: No drugged hooker [Daily News]
STRUMPET RUNS AMOK [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
Earlier today (in fact, just below, if you’re on the main page): Eagles Prez To Fans: You’ll Pay Whatever The Hell We Want You To Pay, And You’ll Enjoy It

Leftovers: Really Fast Eddie

&8226; In the latest poll, Gov. Ed Rendell is up, 55-33, over challenger Lynn Swann. Right now, a Swann win looks about as likely as, hmm… as, say, the Immaculate Reception. Fortunately for Eddie, Franco Harris is not running for governor. [AP/Philly.com]

• Tonight is the Debut of Cole Hamels™, perhaps the most heralded Phillies call-up since, erhm, Gavin Floyd. Hey, he won last night, too, y’know. As this is the Internet, there will be some Friday night liveblogging action. Until then, believe the hype. [Balls, Sticks & Stuff]

• Okay, now that I’ve purchased my tickets, I can tell youse: Phillies-Red Sox tickets are still available! Single game, too. I got the cheap seats for Sunday. [Phillies.com]

• The Canadians trying to buy the Inquirer and Daily News want to slash newsroom jobs in order to win the love of the Teamsters. Pretty shitty, eh? [Attytood]