Pa. Man Assaults Bar Patrons Over Obama Win

A voter in Luzerne County — the only county in the U.S. where a plurality of residents are of Polish ancestry! — was kind of upset about Barack Obama’s election win. Hell, Obama even won over the Polacks in Luzerne!

Faced with having to live with such events, this man did the only sensible thing: He bit the nose of another man.

Police were called to Pizzle’s Bar on Cherry Street at about 2:20 a.m. Wednesday for a man, identified as [Alexander J.] McKenna, swinging a cane at other patrons.

Police found McKenna on the ground yelling obscenities, the criminal complaint says.

Joe Blight and Ronnie Blight told police, the criminal complaint says, that they were inside the bar when McKenna began screaming obscenities about President-elect Barack Obama winning the presidential election.

McKenna walked across the bar and bit Joe Blight on the nose, and swung his cane at Ronnie Blight, according to the criminal complaint.

Oh, also, this dude is 70. And he fought the Blight Brothers! What a tough cookie.

Police: Man assaults bar patrons over Obama win [Times Leader via Wonkette]

Brady’s Fate In Hands Of Poles

A judge from Luzerne County will hear the challenge against Bob Brady’s nominating petitions today. Luzerne County, as you may know, is the only county in the U.S. where a plurality of the population reports a Polish ancestry. How this will figure into today’s decision, I dare not venture a guess.

The challenge — funded by (who else) Tom Knox and supported by Dwight Evans — attempts to knock Brady off the ballot for failing to list his City of Philadelphia pension ($8,500/year) on his financial disclosure forms. Luzerne County judge Judge Patrick J. Toole (assuredly Polish) is hearing the case because Brady got a bunch of judges elected and they might rule favorably to him, or something.

Lawyer Paul Rosen doesn’t even want to let Brady’s team argue the disclosure was a “government mandated payment” and didn’t need to be listed, since City Controller Alan Butkovitz tried to knock two challengers from the ballot since they failed to disclose their city pensions. Butkovitz was endorsed by the Democratic City Committee, which Bob Brady chairs.

Blah blah blah. Man, this race was much more fun when it was all Milton and gumdrops. There will be an appeal of today’s ruling between the two rich white guy candidates’ lawyers, and it’ll eventually go to the Supreme Court. No pressure, Judge Toole! Prać swoje brudy publicznie!

Effort to put Brady off ballot will be heard today in court [Inquirer]

P.T. Barnum Proven Correct Again

Sometime this week, the board overseeing casinos in the state of Pennsylvania will vote on which two proposals will get licenses in Philadelphia. And tomorrow, Philadelphia Park’s casino will open in Bensalem.

People, then, are paying attention to the Pocono Downs casino — the one with Blinky the Clown, who offers to come to your room and to balloon tricks — in hopes to learn some lessons from the Luzerne County attraction.

The Bucks County Courier Times‘ James McGinnis (who also introduced us to Blinky) writes about the popularity of the casino, calling it “one of the most exciting attractions ever to hit rural Pennsylvania.”

In addition to clowns, the casino features, uh, well, food-court style restaurants, two bars that seat up to 20 people and a rewards center where players can “cash in points for air purifiers, fleece jackets and kitchenware.”

And all of this is drawing 10,000 people a day. There really is not much to do up there in Luzerne County, is there? Well, except talk about Poland, since Luzerne County is the only one in the U.S. where a plurality of residents reporting Polish as their primary ancestry. (It’s true!)

Poconos casino attracts crowds [BCCT]
Dec. 14: Hopefully Philly’s Casinos Will Have Such Amenities