Beer Fight!

Our state lawmakers in the House have recently been so kind as to consider allowing beer distributors and takeout beer joints to sell 6-, 12- and 18-packs. All good, right? Duh, of course not: Now the state’s lawmakers are pissed because it’s going to give Bud, Miller and Coors et al an edge.

Under Pennsylvania’s current liquor law — brought down via stone tablets by William Penn himself — beer distributors are only allowed to sell cases of beer (generally 24-packs), kegs and the like. Takeout beer places can sell up to 12 beers at a time. The new rules would allow distributors to sell as few as six beers at a time and let takeout places (delis, bars, etc.) sell as many as 18 beers at once. Neat!¹

But local brewers don’t have the packing gizmos to make 18-packs, since they haven’t been allowed to sell them up to this point. The beer giants have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars bribing (”lobbying”) our state lawmakers to pass this new law; Anheuser-Busch spent $200k last year lobbying Pennsylvania legislators and Miller spent $100k.

The state’s beer makers are not happy, though the head of the union for microbrewers says he wants to do “what’s best for beer.” It’s not beers like Yards, Troegs (both quoted in the article) that would be really hurt by the law but beers like Yuengling, which compete more with the corporate beer. Nobody’s choosing between a six-pack of Yards Love Stout and an 18-pack of Bud Light; Dougie Fratboy might be willing to get an 18-pack of Coors instead of a 24 of Lager.

Er, anyway, look how emphatic and angry this “consultant for Iron City Brewing Co.” is! “Who’s this bill going to help? It’s certainly not going to be the little guy. There’s not one microbrewer in this state that can make an 18-pack, not one.”

The article notes the state may give brewers a ton of money to upgrade their machinery. If only I had a brew pub on the Chester waterfront! I could get the state to pay me to not make beer.

¹ Pennsylvania’s liquor laws are, shall we say, a bit stupid, and I may have screwed up this description of it. Just assume if it makes it easier for you to acquire your beer you’re not allowed to buy it that way.

A six-pack of controversy to go [Inquirer]

Breaking: Possible Scandal Involves Attractive Woman

Yowza! The newest political scandal involves two things I just can’t get enough of: Our lovable, Eagles-loving, William Howard Taft-sized governor, Ed Rendell, and a foxy hot blonde, Leslie Merrill McCombs!

McCombs is a former TV anchor for WPGH in Pittsburgh. You must, must, must go over to a website with voice-over samples she’s done. Not only does she ooze sex when talking about a chocolate cake or whatever, she later does pretty much the same thing about a hospital or something. Sorry, the words kinda went through my mind, I was just listening to the sound.

Anyway, McCombs is friends with the guv, but she also happens to be a lobbyist who appears in a Lionsgate TV show. (It’s on Spike, you haven’t seen it.) And, wouldn’t you know it, film companies got a $75 million tax break passed in the budget this year, and McCombs forgot to file paperwork or something. (She says she’s now in full compliance with the law.)

What makes this story better is Harrisburg Sen. Jeff Piccola, who instead of simply passing this on to whoever regulates lobbyists in Pennsylvania, decided to hire a private detective because there is a hot Desperate Housewife involved and, rrrwar, I bet the PI would work for free!

Rendell made some Vince Fumo joke about the last guy to hire a private detective getting indicted, but Piccola responded by saying he didn’t have any ex-girlfriends to spy on. Ha ha, loser.

Leslie Merrill McCombs [The Talent Guide]
Rendell Says Lobbying Flap Doesn’t Need An Investigator [KYW 1060]
Guv, the blonde and the lobbying law [Daily News]
Earlier today: Abridged ‘Daily News’ Columnists

You may have my ‘Oregon Trail’ — but you’ll pry ‘Carmen Sandiego’ from my cold, dead hands

There’s an article in today’s Inquirer about Pennsylvania’s animal welfare lobby, a small group of activists who fight for animal rights interests. Their adversaries are things like hunting and fishing industries.

Despite their small budget and even smaller lobbying power — no animal rights activist is taking Joe Lawmaker out for dinner — the Inky says they have enjoyed some recent victories.

Like, for example, this bill:

Despite the odds, the animal lobby has racked up a string of victories, with the passage of more than a dozen bills benefiting wild animals and pets. In October, the legislature passed a bill banning so-called Internet hunting - in which people from the comfort of their homes use computers to trigger weapons that fire at animals many miles away.

This isn’t good. Now everyone’s going to have to choose the banker since they’ll have to buy food (since they can’t hunt). Then they won’t have money to hire an Indian guide to help them cross the river and little John will die of dysentery.

Animal activists get Harrisburg’s ear [Inky]
Oregon Trail [ClassicGaming.com]