LA Link Dump

Let’s stay in LA for the news a bit, shall we?

- If you read this headline quickly enough, it sounds like they’re talking about the greatest NFL franchise ever (bold and caps mine): “Los Angeles Taco Trucks can stay put again.” [LA Times]

- Some guy has crashed his car into the gates of the Playboy Mansion twice in the past two weeks. Make your own jokes in the comments section. [LA Times]

- Hey, LA cops accidentally shoot at innocent people all the time! This time, a cop was aiming for a robbery suspect but hit a Metro bus instead. No wonder they say public transit in LA is horrible. There were no injuries, but one woman is being treated for anxiety. Expect a $200 million lawsuit to be forthcoming. [LA Daily News]

- And speaking of public transit, construction workers in Downtown LA found old trolley car rails buried beneath six inches of asphalt. You see, LA used to be a city you didn’t need a car to get around before an American automobile company bought the public transit system and ran it into the ground to bolster its own sales. That’s not a joke. [blogdowntown]

Links: Annoying News, Everywhere

Hey, there’s nothing to write about. Really. So here are some links!

• There’s a column on a Houston Chronicle blog titled Ranking Ed Wade’s smartest moves. Rob, who sent this to me, added: “And it’s not satire. Or parody.” Sadly, that dude who punched out Ed Wade is not on the list. [SportsJustice]

• While you were sleeping this week, the Phillies were swept in a four-game set by the Dodgers. They’re now back in second place, a game behind the Mets. [AP/Yahoo! Sports]

• With the annual pageant out of the city, Miss America Way has been renamed in Atlantic City. It’s now called Convention Boulevard. Pretty soon they’re just going to change the names of the streets in Monopoly just to spite the people who made that “New Monopoly.” [AP/CBS 3]

• The dude who made the anti-cop rant pled guilty and was sentenced to house arrest earlier this week. Okay, so the cops just have to stay out of that house, I guess. Mhm, that’s probably a good idea for everyone. [KYW 1060]

• OPRAH IS GOING TO BE IN SOUTH JERSEY!!! [AP/Courier-Post]

Links: Another Top 10 List!

The only thing more annoying than a slow news day is complaining about it. So let’s just toss up some links without mentioning… oh, crap.

• John McCain was in Bucks County today, and the Courier Times‘ J.D. Mullane was on the scene. He writes that McCain appears to be younger than Obama — why, of course! — and that all Republicans don’t believe in global warming: “However, the county Republicans are not crazy about McCain, that is clear. When McCain told them he believes in ‘climate change’ you could have heard a pin drop in the warehouse he was speaking at.” You see, when you put it in quotes, it’s an effective tactic of arguing your point. By “arguing your point,” I mean “make yourself look stupid.” [Courier Times]

• Philadelphia has been ranked the 9th best city for design in America by Business Week. The entry begins with the hilarious words “great public transit.” [Business Week]

• An Inga Saffron reports on the ranking with the headline, “Who Knew?” She also calls top-10 lists like Business Week’s Top 10 Design Cities annoying. Bonus point! [Skyline Online]

• Hey, a new hotel is open. I’d totally stay at it if I didn’t live like 10 blocks away from it. And had money. [The Illadelph]

• The 76ers are going to make a hard run at Josh Smith. Thank you for not going after Elton Brand, Eddie. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution via The 700 Level]

Links: Jails, Degrees, Elephants

Here’s a couple of stories, all from the Inquirer. I’m too hot to do a post for each of them individually.

• Fresh off her ode to social networking, Karen Heller writes a very nice column on the city’s overcrowding jails, even mentioning the roles mandatory minimum drug sentences have to play. Be sure to read the comments for some enlightening comments from the masses.

• The new police commissioner wants to make the police force safe for gay officers. As usual, the Internet has the best commentary on the subject. Cf. Domelights: “My message to the LGBT, deal with it. The entire world looks at your life style as a problem not the police.”

• Some student at Penn has 11 graduate degrees at the age of 32. He also has dyslexia and reads at a fifth-grade level. Hmm.

• Oh, no, an elephant died at the zoo — everybody put your flags at half-mast for the next year.

Links: Big News From All Over

• And people say we don’t have any celebrities in this town. [Philly Gossip]

• The son of former City Councilman Joe Vignola allegedly met a girl on Craigslist for sex and then tried to murder her. [Daily News]

• While trackless trolleys are back in the Great Northeast, they’re not returning to South Philly because SEPTA doesn’t want them. Oh, and that Route 23 trolley (with tracks)? Ha ha hahahaha. [Inquirer]

• Hey, Edward Anderton pled guilty in federal court to crimes of some sort. But he’s not a hot girl, so who the hell cares? [NBC 10]

• Big news in Carlisle: “Someone stuffed a large wad of hair into the tailpipe of a car parked in the 1300 block of Grandview Court… Police said they don’t know when the culprit plugged the exhaust, but it prevented the car, owned by a 40-year-old woman, from running properly.” [PennLive.com]

• Also in Pennsylvania, a school yearbook was spellchecked and a bunch of students’ names were changed! And what awesome names they are: Max Supernova, Kathy Airbag, Alexandria Impolite. [Language Log]

Friday Afternoon Links

Hey, it’s the slowest time known to man, Friday afternoon. Here are some links:

• Dave Huddleston is leaving Fox 29, as the station won’t renew its contract; his last day is scheduled to be June 13, Mike Klein reports. And: “Fox29 insiders say that more shake-ups are expected; the station is considering new newscasts at 6 p.m. and 11 p.m.” Oh, man, they are going to mess with everything, and I just got used to a 5 p.m. Fox newscast. [Inquirer]

• The “purse-snatching bandits in Center City” email that was going around was a hoax, reports Action News. Yes, Virginia, you can’t believe in everything you read in an email forward. [6 ABC]

• An unconscious gambler was robbed at Harrah’s Chester County; police are telling people to be on the lookout and not trust any strangers at casinos. And, uh, remain conscious. [CBS 3]

• Sadly, this typo isn’t in the actual paper. But there’s a new photo of Dorothy! [Metro]

• National League Win Shares are out! If you don’t know what that means, you’re with me, but I know the advanced stat guys love it. Or something. [Hardball Times]

Odds & Ends

• Congratulations, Internet! You got a Dunkin Donuts ad pulled because Rachel Ray’s scarf was the same color as Arafat’s. Democracy is doomed. [Reason]

• Hey, here’s visual evidence of local celebrity (”celebrity”) photographer Hugh Dillon getting pushed by Jennifer Aniston’s bodyguard or whoever. Ha ha, hooray for random violence. Everyone loves random violence!

• Oh, then there’s this, also taken by Hugh:

Ahh, we may never really call it anything but the Franklin Institute, but at least the PR people behind the new PR campaign for “the Franklin” put a giant question mark in the sky, no doubt confusing clueless Philadelphians into thinking it was the end of the world or something. We need to start putting more punctuation on the Cira Center, STAT. Get me an interrobang!

• Over on the Skyline, a reader sends in a photo of the ridiculous rainbow in Philadelphia over the weekend. [Phillyskyline]

• And, in non-photographic news, here is a line the Inquirer has deemed one of the greatest of the century so far: “For Greg [Luzinski] to hit an inside-the-park home run, the three outfielders would have to collide and burst into flames.” No way is that better than “Who let the dogs out?” [Inquirer]

• Oh, and Pennsylvania is the choice of four out of five post-apocalyptic filmmakers. [The Plank]

Odds ‘N’ Ends

• A reader passes along this comic book (or strip? or something?) about superheros in Philadelphia. Apparently they’re called in by a cop who needs superheroes to fight criminals? Right, right. [Komikwerks]

• Crime down in SW Philly as first-time offenders learn to make better choices. Ahh, yes. Also notable: This article contains a person with the first name of Xzayvion. [Daily News]

• U.S. Airways is eliminating free snacks for its passengers come June 1. All that and more from the #1 most hated airline in the business, which controls most of the #1 most-loved airline in the business, somehow. [Phila. Business Journal]

• The dude who Christine Whitman frisked was shot and killed in Camden. The backstory: “A trooper snapped photographs as Whitman - smiling broadly - searched Rolax as he stood with his hands against a wall. Neither the police nor the governor found drugs or a gun on the teenager.” Ahh, yes. Law enforcement at its finest. [AP/Philly.com]