Mmm, Animal Liver Really Wets My Appetite

I don’t like food, but if I did, I’d have a rule for the meat I eat: If I know where it came from, I don’t want to eat it. We know hamburgers come from cows, but who knows what part of the cow it came from. We know hot dogs come from pigeons and rats and shoes, but who knows what part of the shoe you’re eating.

Anyway, this — well, among other reasons — is why I have absolutely no desire to eat lobster. You know it’s a lobster when you eat it. You know when you eat the… whatever part of a lobster you eat. (The claws? You don’t eat the claws, do you?) And this is also why I have absolutely no desire to eat foie gras (foy GRASS). Mmm, goose/duck liver? Yum!

But that doesn’t mean I want to cave in to the four people who don’t want you to eat foy grass. Well, actually, I don’t care; if restaurants don’t want to serve it because of protesters, go ahead. And if they want to serve it, uh, that’s okay too? Anyway, as part of a promotion, a group of local restaurants will be serving foy grass for just five dollars.

We do not believe that a minority of animal rights zealots should determine the direction of our business. Nor do we want to be intimidated by them at our restaurants or homes. We want the City Council to know that these few do not represent the whole of Philadelphia.

In the city of Philadelphia, the birthplace of American liberty, we want to keep the right to serve foie gras.

I believe that’s in the Declaration of Independence: That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to eat as much disgusting-sounding Duck Liver as they want.

Try foie gras for $5 [Foobooz]
[Image by Pikaluk, licensed via Creative Commons]