Brett Myers Sent To Minors

Via a multitude of celebratory instant messages and emails, Brett Myers has been sent down to AAA Lehigh Valley. No word on who’s being called up to take his place, but at least Myers and his 5.84 ERA get to work things out with the IronPigs for a while.

Update: Todd Zolecki writes Myers had to accept the assignment, and did so graciously.

IronPigs Now Unstoppable Ballclub

Break up the IronPigs! The Phillies’ AAA affiliate wore pink yesterday and not only eradicated breast cancer but also won their third straight game with a two-out rally in the ninth inning yesterday.

They’re now 8-30 and have won their first series in franchise history; they go for a four-game sweep tonight against the Columbus Clippers. The Phillies have completely re-tooled the Lehigh Valley roster, and newcomer Jon Knott had the winning hit in back-to-back games. (Pitcher J.A. Happ continues to be successful.)

Since I do not know what the phrase “small sample size” means, I predict they have turned it around for good. To the… championship of the International League!

Pigs Win! Pigs Win!

The Lehigh Valley IronPigs improved to a robust 5-28 yesterday with a 4-1 win over the Toledo Mud Hens. In Toledo! Brian Mazone improved to 4-3. Yes, one pitcher has 80 percent of the IronPigs’ wins. [Allentown Morning Call]

Crash Sends Pigs Onto Rt. 30

CBS 3 reports a pig truck overturned in Chester County. Pigs went all over the runway at around 6 a.m. on the Route 30 bypass in Chester County.

“Tires were squealing,” CBS writes, har de har har. Unfortunately, the members who crashed were not those of the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, who lost again last night to drop their record to 4-28.

Pig truck overturns in Chester County [CBS 3]
Toledo 11, Lehigh Valley 7 [MiLB.com]

The Good And The Bad Of The Minors

Hey, you ever hear of R.J. Swindle? Nope, me neither, ’til Baseball Prospectus wrote about him today. He’s a pitcher with the Reading Phillies. The 24-year-old has bounced from the Red Sox to the Yankees to the Phillies; last year in 44 innings of single-A ball, he had an ERA of 2.25. This year, with Reading, Swindle is 1-0 with a 0.54 ERA in 16 1/3 innings of work.

His fastball tops out in the low 80s — for those of you who are confused, that is sloooooow, even slower than Jamie Moyer — and his curveball drops all the way to 52 miles per hour. Swindle’s career minor league stats are 157 2/3 innings pitched with a 1.48 ERA, 175 strikeouts, 18 walks and 3 homers. (Read that again. A 175 to 18 strikeout to walk ratio!) Those are lights-out numbers, simply sick stuff, and if the Phillies release this dude and he becomes a major leaguer there should be rioting.

(The Good Phight has more thoughts on Swindle — including the idea that, well, he’ll probably never see the majors in a Phillies uniform. I don’t care if the guy throws a 60 mph fastball, if he has 9.72 strikeouts per walk… wow.)

Meanwhile, the Phillies are releasing guys like crazy down at AAA Lehigh Valley, and why not? The IronPigs are a staggering 4-27 so far this season. Hey, why not call up Swindle (and my boy Josh Out Man) and see if they can handle the AAA hitters? What’s the worst that could happen, the team could miss the playoffs? I think they’re already mathematically eliminated.

Seriously? It’s pretty hard to go 4-27 in baseball. An opposing team’s pitcher has an off day, the opposing team commits 5 errors, the other team forgets to show up or a plane crashes onto the field and you get a forfeit win or something. I salute you, Lehigh Valley IronPigs, for starting the franchise with a nice dose of Phillies futility.

The Great Rock & Roll Swindle [Baseball Prospectus via Walkoff Walk]
LV sterilizes pigsty [Beerleaguer]
One to root for: R.J. Swingle [The Good Phight]

Break Up The IronPigs!

After opening the season 0-11, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs are on a roll! They now have won two straight after scoring a season-high 4 runs (ha!) last night in a 4-1 win over the Toledo Mud Hens.

And, look! History, according to The Morning Call: “The one obvious mistake by Mazone came in the second when Melian hit a two-out home run into the Bud Light Trough over the right-field fence, the first home run at Coca-Cola Park to exit somewhere other than center field.” Oooh.

Tonight, the IronPigs go for their third straight win, a franchise record (obviously). And despite the warm temperatures today, it’s Eskimo Night at the ballpark, where (really) “[a]ny fan showing a valid I.D. or drivers license from Alaska, Canada or any other province inherit to Eskimos or Inuit’s, will be given free admission to the game. In addition, all fans in attendance will receive free ice when they enter Coca-Cola Park!”

The press release is awful chipper:

“Despite the warm weather, I still guarantee a freezing good time,” exclaimed IronPigs General Manager Kurt Landes. “However, don’t be surprised if we have dogsled…or even pigsled races at one point!”

Ha ha, pig sled. I get it! But, anyway: Free ice and a 2-11 baseball team? Eskimo Night is one hot ticket indeed. (See what I did there?)

IronPigs Open Season With A Whimper

While the Phillies haven’t exactly burst out of the gate with a good start (they’re 6-7), at least they’re not the Lehigh Valley IronPigs. The Phils’ new AAA affiliate has opened its inaugural season with an 0-11 start.

They’ve been outscored so far, 53-16, and have been shut out three times. The IronPigs are already 7.5 games back in their division and haven’t scored more than 3 runs in a game this year. They also were dominated in their most recent series by a guy named Barbaro.

On the plus side… uhm… gee, I dunno. Lehigh Valley did beat the Phillies’ AA affiliate in a preseason game. 0-11! That’s pretty hard to do in baseball. Perhaps the Lehigh Valley IronPigs are the new Washington Generals, traveling around the country only to lose every single time.

IronPigs Losing Streak Reaches 11 [Iron Pigs via Philly EDGE]

Missing Pig Becomes PR Opportunity

The pig that went missing in Warwick has a new ally in its fight to, uh, be found: The Lehigh Valley IronPigs! The Phillies’ new AAA affiliate is offering four free tickets and an all-you-can-eat meal to anyone who turns in the pig.

Also, if the pig is found, the club wants to host it and its owner at a game as MVPs.

“I’m not into baseball, but I certainly appreciate everyone’s efforts,” Magidson said. “That one person who is more interested in baseball just might read (about the IronPigs offer) and might be the person who sees that little piggy in somebody’s back yard.”

Oh, sad. Looks like the animal psychic that’s been hired — I missed this yesterday, but I forget what blog pointed it out to me, sorry — will have to do. The pig is alright, the psychic says! “I’m being told that Mirabelle is in a warm and safe place and that she is still alive.” Let’s hope everything turns out alright.

IronPigs Mascot Deemed Offensive To Portuguese

Wiggity wham wham wazzle! The stuffed pig above is not an example of suicide food but is the new mascot of the Lehigh Valley IronPigs (note the lack of a space), the new minor league affiliate of the Phillies.

He was all slated to be named Pork Chop — or possibly PorkChop — until a little offensiveness got in the way. Apparently, Pork Chop is a slur against Latinos. Enrico of The 700 Level says it’s on Urban Dictionary, so it passes the “If it’s on the Internet, it must be true” test.

Urban Dictionary, though, says it’s a term of endearment for Portuguese. Nonetheless, Portugal withdrew its ambassador to the IronPigs and the name had to be changed to Ferrous, which is from the Latin for non-offensive. (The Jewish Exponent had already rejected its other mascot choice, Orthodox Hamster. And don’t even ask how they feel about a pig mascot.)

The leader of the Latino Leadership Alliance, though, called in to complain and said he was called “pork chop” when he worked at Bethlehem Steel. “If my parents were alive, they’d be having fits,” he told the Associated Press “It meant much more to them than it does to Puerto Ricans now in the Lehigh Valley.”

The mascot will be backed by his sidekick, Creepy Camouflaged Farmer.

Don’t Call The Fat, Furry Pig ‘PorkChop!’ [The 700 Level]