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 Now that it’s 2006, our state legislators have moved from voting themselves pay raises and have decided to focus on more important things: Imitation bands.
Back a long long time ago, most popular music was made by four guys who sang doo wop music while Catholic school girls from St. Hubert’s did the slop on American Bandstand. (Or something like that. All of my knowledge of “doo wop” music is from that episode of Saved by the Bell where the kids form a doo wop group; I’m not really an expert.) Anyway, some of these vocal groups would switch members in and out, and sometimes it becomes confusing as to who was in the group.
To try to fight this, the Senate recently passed Bill 929, which makes it illegal to pretend you’re a band that you’re not in the state of Pennsylvania. To be honest, I kind of thought this was illegal already, but, hey, whatever. (Before this bill goes into effect, I’m going to hold a series “Eminem” concerts in my apartment and make thousands.)
The bill’s sponsor, Sen. Bob Robbins, said on the PA Senate GOP Podcast (sigh) that he became interested in the bill after working with artists in the Vocal Group Hall of Fame (naturally, located in his district).
“There are countless acts that tour the Commonwealth and the country that take the names of these groups,” he said. “The last few years, for example, [imitations of] The Coasters, The Drifters, The Platters and the like, have been doing our county fairs.”
Oh no! Not a fake Coasters! This bill would allow for bands to label themselves as tribute acts — you’re safe, Splintered Sunlight — or for bands to buy the rights to play as The Boardwalks or whatever. (Note: There may not be a group named The Boardwalks.)
The bill, actually, doesn’t really protect modern groups, it only protects groups in the 50s and 60s, according to the bill’s sponsor. Penalties are from $5,000 to $15,000.
Although this might seem like a bit of a frivolous bill, what else to politicians do? And, really, it’s important. I’ll leave you with the words of Sen. Robbins, who sort of sums up what everyone should feel about the bill: “There’s been over 900 people that claim to be part of The Platters. I think it’s 974 individuals…. If I go to see The Platters, I want to see the Platters.”
Me too, Senator. Me too.
Senate Bill 929 [PA Senate]
Podcasts [PASenateGOP.com]
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I’m actually totally torn on this next story. I don’t know if it’s the coolest thing ever or a really stupid idea that only perpetually drunken frat boys would ever even think of doing.
